Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you had a passionate relationship complete with shared values, a solid friendship and strong sexual compatibility…. How are you doing 10,20,30 years later?

DH. I think we're doing really well 19 years later. We can get sex in 2-3 times a week.

Anonymous wrote:If you had a passionate relationship complete with shared values, a solid friendship and strong sexual compatibility…. How are you doing 10,20,30 years later?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:28 years together, love at first sight. Some minor ups and downs until 2021 when some drift and an emotional affair. Hard time for about a year but things are looking good again and we’re gonna be fine.

How did you turn it around? What cause the EA?

EA wasn’t intended, just a friendship that got a little intense, that situation is deeply regretted and lost forever. Friend was hurt by my actions and that guilt hasn’t gone away.
Self improvement, therapy, accountability and space have allowed love to come back, ebbs and flows but things are better and clean between us.

When I was in my 30's I was the friend in this scenario to someone who was married and told me I was his soul mate. I was never married, child of divorced parents with infidelity in their marriage. I was stupid and thought this was sometimes how people met. I take full responsibiity for my role in getting involved with this person. But man did he lure me in with the whole I'm so unhappy in my marriage/you're my soul mate nonsense.

To this PP: I was also the catalyst for this person's "repair" of his marriage, or at least that's what he told me. It truly damaged me, maybe for life. FYI I ended it when I realized what he was doing.

Leave single women alone. You don't get to take from them what you don't intend to give. If you don't recognize your actions as predatory, you learned nothing.

Nope, both married and there was never anything remotely physical. State of my marriage may have led to my own feelings developing but the friend had them too but never expressed any dissatisfaction in their home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blissfully happy for 16 years. Then he got a promotion that required him to travel one week a month. Things felt off and distant pretty quickly, but he blamed it on work stress and being tired. A few months later I discovered he was having an affair with his admin assistant, who traveled with him on those trips. When I confronted him, it was like someone flipped a switch overnight and my husband was gone, replaced with a look-alike that just looked at me with empty dead eyes. He was there, but I couldn’t reach him, didn’t recognize the man he seemed to be, and realized that I didn’t even like this person.

Divorced a year later.

My “soul mate” also had a lobotomy around years 16-18. It really is looking at someone you knew and loved for 20-some years and not even recognizing them anymore.

So sorry you went through this too. It’s devastating and hurts your brain.

This happened to my marriage too. At year 17 it’s like my best friend and the person I’d shared the last 20 years of my life disappeared. We got along great and it was so out of the blue. We were still having regular sex too. Divorced a year later. Gone and replaced by someone I don’t recognize.

Did you still do stuff together like vacation or go on dates? Kid stuff?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blissfully happy for 16 years. Then he got a promotion that required him to travel one week a month. Things felt off and distant pretty quickly, but he blamed it on work stress and being tired. A few months later I discovered he was having an affair with his admin assistant, who traveled with him on those trips. When I confronted him, it was like someone flipped a switch overnight and my husband was gone, replaced with a look-alike that just looked at me with empty dead eyes. He was there, but I couldn’t reach him, didn’t recognize the man he seemed to be, and realized that I didn’t even like this person.

Divorced a year later.

My “soul mate” also had a lobotomy around years 16-18. It really is looking at someone you knew and loved for 20-some years and not even recognizing them anymore.

So sorry you went through this too. It’s devastating and hurts your brain.

This happened to my marriage too. At year 17 it’s like my best friend and the person I’d shared the last 20 years of my life disappeared. We got along great and it was so out of the blue. We were still having regular sex too. Divorced a year later. Gone and replaced by someone I don’t recognize.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:28 years together, love at first sight. Some minor ups and downs until 2021 when some drift and an emotional affair. Hard time for about a year but things are looking good again and we’re gonna be fine.

How did you turn it around? What cause the EA?

EA wasn’t intended, just a friendship that got a little intense, that situation is deeply regretted and lost forever. Friend was hurt by my actions and that guilt hasn’t gone away.
Self improvement, therapy, accountability and space have allowed love to come back, ebbs and flows but things are better and clean between us.

When I was in my 30's I was the friend in this scenario to someone who was married and told me I was his soul mate. I was never married, child of divorced parents with infidelity in their marriage. I was stupid and thought this was sometimes how people met. I take full responsibiity for my role in getting involved with this person. But man did he lure me in with the whole I'm so unhappy in my marriage/you're my soul mate nonsense.

To this PP: I was also the catalyst for this person's "repair" of his marriage, or at least that's what he told me. It truly damaged me, maybe for life. FYI I ended it when I realized what he was doing.

Leave single women alone. You don't get to take from them what you don't intend to give. If you don't recognize your actions as predatory, you learned nothing.

Nope, both married and there was never anything remotely physical. State of my marriage may have led to my own feelings developing but the friend had them too but never expressed any dissatisfaction in their home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:28 years together, love at first sight. Some minor ups and downs until 2021 when some drift and an emotional affair. Hard time for about a year but things are looking good again and we’re gonna be fine.

How did you turn it around? What cause the EA?

EA wasn’t intended, just a friendship that got a little intense, that situation is deeply regretted and lost forever. Friend was hurt by my actions and that guilt hasn’t gone away.
Self improvement, therapy, accountability and space have allowed love to come back, ebbs and flows but things are better and clean between us.

When I was in my 30's I was the friend in this scenario to someone who was married and told me I was his soul mate. I was never married, child of divorced parents with infidelity in their marriage. I was stupid and thought this was sometimes how people met. I take full responsibiity for my role in getting involved with this person. But man did he lure me in with the whole I'm so unhappy in my marriage/you're my soul mate nonsense.

To this PP: I was also the catalyst for this person's "repair" of his marriage, or at least that's what he told me. It truly damaged me, maybe for life. FYI I ended it when I realized what he was doing.

Leave single women alone. You don't get to take from them what you don't intend to give. If you don't recognize your actions as predatory, you learned nothing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blissfully happy for 16 years. Then he got a promotion that required him to travel one week a month. Things felt off and distant pretty quickly, but he blamed it on work stress and being tired. A few months later I discovered he was having an affair with his admin assistant, who traveled with him on those trips. When I confronted him, it was like someone flipped a switch overnight and my husband was gone, replaced with a look-alike that just looked at me with empty dead eyes. He was there, but I couldn’t reach him, didn’t recognize the man he seemed to be, and realized that I didn’t even like this person.

Divorced a year later.

My “soul mate” also had a lobotomy around years 16-18. It really is looking at someone you knew and loved for 20-some years and not even recognizing them anymore.

So sorry you went through this too. It’s devastating and hurts your brain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Blissfully happy for 16 years. Then he got a promotion that required him to travel one week a month. Things felt off and distant pretty quickly, but he blamed it on work stress and being tired. A few months later I discovered he was having an affair with his admin assistant, who traveled with him on those trips. When I confronted him, it was like someone flipped a switch overnight and my husband was gone, replaced with a look-alike that just looked at me with empty dead eyes. He was there, but I couldn’t reach him, didn’t recognize the man he seemed to be, and realized that I didn’t even like this person.

Divorced a year later.

My “soul mate” also had a lobotomy around years 16-18. It really is looking at someone you knew and loved for 20-some years and not even recognizing them anymore.

So sorry you went through this too. It’s devastating and hurts your brain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:28 years together, love at first sight. Some minor ups and downs until 2021 when some drift and an emotional affair. Hard time for about a year but things are looking good again and we’re gonna be fine.

How did you turn it around? What cause the EA?

EA wasn’t intended, just a friendship that got a little intense, that situation is deeply regretted and lost forever. Friend was hurt by my actions and that guilt hasn’t gone away.
Self improvement, therapy, accountability and space have allowed love to come back, ebbs and flows but things are better and clean between us.

When I was in my 30's I was the friend in this scenario to someone who was married and told me I was his soul mate. I was never married, child of divorced parents with infidelity in their marriage. I was stupid and thought this was sometimes how people met. I take full responsibiity for my role in getting involved with this person. But man did he lure me in with the whole I'm so unhappy in my marriage/you're my soul mate nonsense.

To this PP: I was also the catalyst for this person's "repair" of his marriage, or at least that's what he told me. It truly damaged me, maybe for life. FYI I ended it when I realized what he was doing.

Leave single women alone. You don't get to take from them what you don't intend to give. If you don't recognize your actions as predatory, you learned nothing.