Anonymous wrote:I have a really uptight view on how kids should behave, and I *still* think OP's parents are being unreasonable. Agree with the PP who said they can visit you next time.

+1. I’m pretty judgy on modern parenting and modern kid behavior and I think OP’s parents sound nuts.

Anonymous wrote:“Mom, the kids need a place on the counter for their water bottles to stay while we’re visiting. Can you please pick a spot? Thanks.”

“Mom, rather than tracking dirt in the house, the kids need to leave their shoes by the door. Do you want to just create a space or do you want them in a basket?”

Stop trying to work around the passive aggressive comments. Just be direct with two choices for her and move on. If she complains, just say, “But the last time we talked on FaceTime, you were complaining that we hadn’t visited. This is us visiting. We’re a full package that includes water bottles and shoes. You can do this.” 😬

All of this, but especially the bolded.

OP sounds high maintenance. She has three kids, so five additional people is a lot. They are given several bedrooms to keep their stuff in. Bring what you need. Simple.

What happened when you were growing up? Was she always this OCD?

My mom (and aunts) will buy disposable cups and have everyone write their name on it with a sharpie. It's ridiculous but she loves hosting.
I would take stackable plastic cups in different colors and a shoe bucket or bag everyone can drop their shoes in. Maybe if they keep them in a neat line it will be less stressful visually.

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t have three kids. One or two is enough.

Because of memaw being inconsiderate about children needing things?

Anonymous wrote:You sound high maintenance. I don't allow kids to bring water/food all over the house. That's not respectful. Bring a basket for the shoes. And, bring towels. Five people, and all the sheets, towels, etc. does get to be a lot.

You are ridiculous. 3 child sized water bottles is too much? They are traveling with an already full car and you expect them to tote a shoe basket and extra towels and sheets that can be kept at the grandparents house. YOU sound high maintenance to expect guests to show up with that.

Poster above....my mother has a renovated cape and the whole second floor attic is our "suite" but I have to say that if you have limited space as a family there, then she really has to compromise.

I can relate to this in that my mother also has her deeply ingrained patterns in her home and is very clean and organized, and becomes stressed when there is clutter.

We only have two kids, they're teens now, but what has worked has been compromise on both sides. We have learned to keep keep nearly of our things up in our guest area. (including things like my pocketbook, all shoes, medications, any book we might be reading, a magazine, a random sweater, etc). I might charge my phone in the kitchen and leave our car keys near there but otherwise we leave little that shows our presence anywhere downstairs in the common living areas. And as someone who hosts family I will say this is rare in that most people keep even a bit of their stuff around downstairs (I don't mind it). My mother does, however. So we try to keep it out of her site. As for kitchen cups or bottles, just ask her. That sounds excessive to me. Having grown up with a nitpicking mother, none of it surprises me anymore and we just adapt. It can get asier as the kids get older.. But she has to compromise too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t have three kids. One or two is enough.

How many should OP leave behind?

It’s more a PSA for others to not have a horde of kids that you and others can’t handle

Your reading comprehension is terrible. It’s Granny and PeePaw who “can’t handle” perfectly normal things like three kids’ water bottles and shoes next to the door for the duration of a visit, which is totally absurd.

I would go, take up the space you need to take up, and if they complain I would point out in the moment “If you don't want any children’s things visible in your home, then we won’t visit. Are you saying you’d prefer we stay home?”

My mom is incredibly uptight about her house (like notoriously! Someone once joked that they should eat off her kitchen floor since it was cleaner than any of his dishes at home). But she loves her grandkids and wanted them to visit so she cleared out drawers in the guest room for toys that live there when we visit. She has kid’s cups and silverware and plastic dishes just for when we visit. She bought an extra big doormat for her back door so the kids can run out and play on the patio and have somewhere to dump shoes.

If they want you there, they can learn to act like it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t have three kids. One or two is enough.

How many should OP leave behind?

It’s more a PSA for others to not have a horde of kids that you and others can’t handle

Here's a PSA for you, STFU.

Anonymous wrote:So, bring a set of plastic dishes for the kids. They don’t have kids so expecting a kid friendly home is not reasonable.

Can you read with comprehension?

“Mom, the kids need a place on the counter for their water bottles to stay while we’re visiting. Can you please pick a spot? Thanks.”

“Mom, rather than tracking dirt in the house, the kids need to leave their shoes by the door. Do you want to just create a space or do you want them in a basket?”

Stop trying to work around the passive aggressive comments. Just be direct with two choices for her and move on. If she complains, just say, “But the last time we talked on FaceTime, you were complaining that we hadn’t visited. This is us visiting. We’re a full package that includes water bottles and shoes. You can do this.” 😬

I have a really uptight view on how kids should behave, and I *still* think OP's parents are being unreasonable. Agree with the PP who said they can visit you next time.