Anonymous wrote:Do 25 year olds need parent’s permission to obtain a marriage license?

I guess this is the right answer. Its a free country, marriage requires two consenting adults, not four consenting parents.

Do 25 year olds need parent’s permission to obtain a marriage license?

My adult son is 25 years old and is currently in medical school. His wife is 23 years old and about to start medical school. They just got married two months ago and I am supporting them both financially, including medical school costs and living expenses. I even bought them a Tesla Model 3. When they graduate and become doctors, they will be debt free. It is my responsibility to do that for them.

Anonymous wrote:If you are not independent at 25, are you too young to marry?

I don’t know. My younger DC is in a PhD program for four more years. They are currently 24. We do the ROTH contribution and send $500 a month to help their $27k TA salary go further. So, they are not completely independent, but they are not spending money recklessly either. If they found someone they wanted to marry before graduating, I would support it. It is all hypothetical at the moment as no one is currently in the picture.

In general, 25 is too old to get financial help from parents but not too young to get married.

What kind of help are we talking about? Is this a case where parents set aside money to pay for medical school tuition and you're asking if the child should be cut off just because she's getting married? Or is it a case where parents are paying things like cell phone bills, rent, utilities, insurance? The former seems like a non-issue. The latter seems like a big issue and indicates the kid lacks maturity for marriage.

I got married 2 months after turning 25, the summer after graduating from law school (a week after the Bar, which was a terrible idea). I had a scholarship and loans to pay for law school, but I’m not sure how that is different than parents supporting point was, I wasn’t self supporting at the time. My parent paid for medical and car insurance until I married. I started my first job as an Associate a month later.

I was engaged for 18 months, because I believe in a marriage you have to be willing to put the other persons needs first sometimes, and ai was not willing to do that until I had a degree.

Will celebrate my 25th wedding anniversary this summer. 2 beautiful kids in good colleges with solid lane for the future.

I was ready, and I have never felt I got married too soon. In fact, I wish I had eloped a year earlier for financial reasons. BUT, my parents had a miserable marriage and an ugly divorce. I knew I wanted kind, caring, stable and willing to be a 50% parent and support my career as much as I supported his. We had had these discussions about roles in the home, religion, children, money etc. And he is a software engineer who never did grad school, so he had been adulting for 4 years when we married.

Given how long it takes to, say, get an MD, a PhD or even a JD, I think it’s more about emotional maturity than complete financial independence. My own DD’s 529 is funded through a Masters degree. She’s mature, makes well thought out decisions and has a good head on her shoulders. I would have no problem with her marrying at 25 and continuing to use her 529. I’d also keep her on our health insurance until 26 because I have good federal coverage, it doesn’t cost extra once I’ve covered DH to cover the kids, and he has a medical issue that can be expensive. This is assuming I don’t see huge red flags.

No. Let them get married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting money from parents definitely muddies the waters of newly married relationships. I've witnessed it cause lots of friction between young couples.

Parents have to be really careful to not overstep into the new relationship and irrevocably harm the capacity of the two young people to work together to achieve goals.

A close friend of DD (25) recently moved in with her BF. The BF’s parents own the house he lives in by himself, and they are about to buy the small company he works at. DD’s friend wasn’t paying rent there, but he recently asked her to start. She is struggling to pay off student loans and gave up her apt in hopes that this move would save money.

As she should. Unless there is an engagement or marriage, finances should be separate. My DD shares an apartment with her BF, both can afford to pay whole rent but they do 50-50 until marriage.

“Getting money from parents definitely muddies the waters of newly married relationships. I've witnessed it cause lots of friction between young couples.”

If you are not financially independent by 25 you are probably immature and not ready to commit to marriage.

MYOB

i think yes.

if you are still being supported by your parents, then you are not ready to be married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting money from parents definitely muddies the waters of newly married relationships. I've witnessed it cause lots of friction between young couples.

Parents have to be really careful to not overstep into the new relationship and irrevocably harm the capacity of the two young people to work together to achieve goals.

A close friend of DD (25) recently moved in with her BF. The BF’s parents own the house he lives in by himself, and they are about to buy the small company he works at. DD’s friend wasn’t paying rent there, but he recently asked her to start. She is struggling to pay off student loans and gave up her apt in hopes that this move would save money.

As she should. Unless there is an engagement or marriage, finances should be separate. My DD shares an apartment with her BF, both can afford to pay whole rent but they do 50-50 until marriage.

Anonymous wrote:Getting money from parents definitely muddies the waters of newly married relationships. I've witnessed it cause lots of friction between young couples.

Parents have to be really careful to not overstep into the new relationship and irrevocably harm the capacity of the two young people to work together to achieve goals.

A close friend of DD (25) recently moved in with her BF. The BF’s parents own the house he lives in by himself, and they are about to buy the small company he works at. DD’s friend wasn’t paying rent there, but he recently asked her to start. She is struggling to pay off student loans and gave up her apt in hopes that this move would save money.

Getting money from parents definitely muddies the waters of newly married relationships. I've witnessed it cause lots of friction between young couples.

Parents have to be really careful to not overstep into the new relationship and irrevocably harm the capacity of the two young people to work together to achieve goals.

There are 40 year olds on this forum who admit their own parents are paying for their kids' private schools, giving them money for a house downpayment, funding college tuition, and otherwise helping them to keep up with the Joneses.

I'd much rather help newlywed 25 years old financially than 40 or 45 year olds who are still expecting help with their bills from their parents.