Anonymous
Post 04/01/2023 20:34     Subject: Can't relate to ppl without kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, as a single, childless woman, I have to say, this is a mean thing to do to people you considered friends.

However, you are not alone. Many of my friends have dropped me once they have kids.

I now consider baby showers to essentially be going away parties for my friendship, because I know there is a good chance my friends will drop me and focus on only having mom friends.

It's pretty mean.


What the everlasting f are you doing on a toddler forum?


Because perhaps she has interests outside of herself? You sound awful, pp.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2023 20:27     Subject: Can't relate to ppl without kids
Bye girl.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2023 20:14     Subject: Can't relate to ppl without kids
Anonymous wrote:I can't relate at all anymore to my friends who don't have kids, especially the ones who treat their pets like kids (like I know someone who baby-wears her dog in a babybjorn-type thing), and feel like I'm letting those friendships fade and don't even really care... Is this common?

No, it’s you.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2023 19:25     Subject: Can't relate to ppl without kids
Anonymous wrote:I can’t relate to people without special needs kids anymore. When you’re in the thick of an experience, and it’s an incredibly intense experience, it can be hard to relate to people who aren’t in it with you. I still have friends with typically developing kids or who don’t have kids at all, but honestly they all sound like they are complaining about NOTHING all the time to me, just irrelevant nonsense. I can’t relate.

I think what OP is saying is normal. I’m not sure why people are pouncing on her.


People are pouncing because no one's life should be 100% about being a parent. You need to make yourself think and talk about other things sometimes!

I'm childfree and have friends with kids, but we hardly ever talk about that. They spend time with me because they need time away from their kids and parenting.

OP and PP, I strongly recommend that you cultivate at least one friendship that doesn't revolve around talking about your kids.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2023 19:11     Subject: Can't relate to ppl without kids
I can’t relate to people without special needs kids anymore. When you’re in the thick of an experience, and it’s an incredibly intense experience, it can be hard to relate to people who aren’t in it with you. I still have friends with typically developing kids or who don’t have kids at all, but honestly they all sound like they are complaining about NOTHING all the time to me, just irrelevant nonsense. I can’t relate.

I think what OP is saying is normal. I’m not sure why people are pouncing on her.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2023 19:07     Subject: Can't relate to ppl without kids
Anonymous wrote:OP, as a single, childless woman, I have to say, this is a mean thing to do to people you considered friends.

However, you are not alone. Many of my friends have dropped me once they have kids.

I now consider baby showers to essentially be going away parties for my friendship, because I know there is a good chance my friends will drop me and focus on only having mom friends.

It's pretty mean.


I see how it can feel hurtful, but I don’t see how it’s “mean.” If all OP has the bandwidth to talk about is breastfeeding and sleep training right now, then you and she are not in the same phase of life anymore. I just don’t see how that’s “mean.” Again, indefinitely see how it hurts to lose a friend, but sometimes friends grow apart.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2023 19:07     Subject: Can't relate to ppl without kids
Anonymous wrote:I felt that way when my kids were preschool age and babies. When they were helpless and I needed my world to revolve around them on some level.

When they got to ES and were a little more independent, didn't need their butts wiped, could do simple chores...and then eventually could stay home by themselves for a bit....I got my life back more and was able to make friends in different stages of life, including those without kids. I love having friends without kids because it forces the conversation to be about other things, when mom friend talk is still heavily weighted on kid stuff.

Same.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2023 19:00     Subject: Can't relate to ppl without kids
Anonymous wrote:OP, as a single, childless woman, I have to say, this is a mean thing to do to people you considered friends.

However, you are not alone. Many of my friends have dropped me once they have kids.

I now consider baby showers to essentially be going away parties for my friendship, because I know there is a good chance my friends will drop me and focus on only having mom friends.

It's pretty mean.


What the everlasting f are you doing on a toddler forum?
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2023 18:57     Subject: Can't relate to ppl without kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is a really small way to think.


+1. It just reads as you're a bad friend, OP.


I agree. You are the problem if you can't relate to people who do not have children.

You also sound judgmental if you have the attitude you do about people who treat their pets like children.

Do you struggle with other relationships? Do you have a hard time talking about anything other than your children? If so, it could be that you need to work on yourself quite a bit.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2023 18:46     Subject: Re:Can't relate to ppl without kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP: Understandable. Raising children requires a different level of maturity & responsibility.


LOL. So parents are more mature than childfree people now? Give me a break. I’m childfree and not out drinking every night. There are a plethora of reasons for me to not have kids- money, my own deteriorating health, the climate, and more. I actually like kids a lot. But being a parent isn’t my path. And that has nothing to do with maturity or responsibility.


Not disagreeing with anything you’re saying why are in a forum called infants, toddlers and preschoolers…


Because I was scanning recent posts and saw this one. I don't have kids and I'm curious how having them causes your entire personality to evaporate to the extent that you have absolutely nothing to talk about other than your kids.

Do you ever visit forums other than this one? Or can you no longer relate to topics like real estate, food or travel because you have kids?


No I don’t. I don’t need a house, eat food or travel nexuses I have kids. In fact, when I’m at work I keep talking about my kids on calls, it’s sooo confusing.


*because I have kids
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2023 18:46     Subject: Re:Can't relate to ppl without kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP: Understandable. Raising children requires a different level of maturity & responsibility.


LOL. So parents are more mature than childfree people now? Give me a break. I’m childfree and not out drinking every night. There are a plethora of reasons for me to not have kids- money, my own deteriorating health, the climate, and more. I actually like kids a lot. But being a parent isn’t my path. And that has nothing to do with maturity or responsibility.


Not disagreeing with anything you’re saying why are in a forum called infants, toddlers and preschoolers…


Because I was scanning recent posts and saw this one. I don't have kids and I'm curious how having them causes your entire personality to evaporate to the extent that you have absolutely nothing to talk about other than your kids.

Do you ever visit forums other than this one? Or can you no longer relate to topics like real estate, food or travel because you have kids?


No I don’t. I don’t need a house, eat food or travel nexuses I have kids. In fact, when I’m at work I keep talking about my kids on calls, it’s sooo confusing.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2023 18:40     Subject: Can't relate to ppl without kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It just means your life is too evolved around your kids. Def not good. You become one of those parents who talk nothing but your kids. Boring as hell. Try to remember no one gives F about your kids other than you.


I mean…my friends and I who have kids around the same age talk about our kids all the time and it’s great to have someone to share that with. Maybe you hate your kids?


Yeah but do you really honestly love hearing them talking about their kids? I think not. You just want to tell them how great your kids are.


Nah I’m not the bragging type. I don’t talk about how great my kids are, I’m usually just explaining issues that have arisen and we brainstorm how to resolve those issues. Or we commiserate about how tough it is being parents.

Anonymous
Post 04/01/2023 18:38     Subject: Can't relate to ppl without kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It just means your life is too evolved around your kids. Def not good. You become one of those parents who talk nothing but your kids. Boring as hell. Try to remember no one gives F about your kids other than you.


I mean…my friends and I who have kids around the same age talk about our kids all the time and it’s great to have someone to share that with. Maybe you hate your kids?

Yes but are your “friends who have kids around the same age” the only people you are able to talk to? Do you have the same exact conversation about only your kids with everyone else in the world, too?


No…? I don’t talk about my kids with my childless friends because I know it doesn’t interest them.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2023 15:02     Subject: Can't relate to ppl without kids
Anonymous wrote:OP, as a single, childless woman, I have to say, this is a mean thing to do to people you considered friends.

However, you are not alone. Many of my friends have dropped me once they have kids.

I now consider baby showers to essentially be going away parties for my friendship, because I know there is a good chance my friends will drop me and focus on only having mom friends.

It's pretty mean.


It's weird and I don't understand it.
Anonymous
Post 04/01/2023 13:14     Subject: Can't relate to ppl without kids
OP, as a single, childless woman, I have to say, this is a mean thing to do to people you considered friends.

However, you are not alone. Many of my friends have dropped me once they have kids.

I now consider baby showers to essentially be going away parties for my friendship, because I know there is a good chance my friends will drop me and focus on only having mom friends.

It's pretty mean.