Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your career doesn’t matter. It’s your DH.

Watch out your hetero normative is showing! Lesbians can marry, have kids and a career.

Also what if your dh dies or you get divorced? Good idea to be able to support oneself

Okay DH should be breadwinner spouse.

Died? Life insurance. Divorced? Alimony.

The ability to quit the workforce is really more about who is paying the bills rather than what happens after.

You can always retrain and enter these re-entry friendly careers like nursing and teaching — by that very property there is no reason to originate your career in those fields. Just pivot after SAH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two teen DD’s. Both have expressed a hope that they can SAH or go part time when their children are young. Yea they know it’s not guaranteed, etc. But there are definitely some careers that seem more conducive to this than others. What are careers that provide independence/financial stability but also flexibility for the early kid years? Nursing is one that came to mind.

Typical woman jobs. Nursing and teaching.

However as a woman with a career that provides much more financial stability than those stereotypical jobs, I have a career in IT (which is absolutely not for people who want to take long breaks) I’m able to work from home and have an incredibly flexible schedule. I would hate being shackled to a building as many of these mom careers go. Bonus is I’ve been able to secure both my kids with incredible summer internships in Bo th high school and college at various technology companies, giving them a huge leg up. Privilege is a thing and I’m going to leverage it as much for my kids as possible. I think it’s pretty cool that my boys are following in my foot steps and not their father who is an attorney. They probably see my job as wayyy more flexible and better COL than their dad who is always in court or visiting clients/colleagues.

And wouldn't it be the cherry on top if they don't grow up to be self-centered twerps like you?

Only in D.C. is it "self-centered" to think it's cool that your kids don't want to be lawyers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two teen DD’s. Both have expressed a hope that they can SAH or go part time when their children are young. Yea they know it’s not guaranteed, etc. But there are definitely some careers that seem more conducive to this than others. What are careers that provide independence/financial stability but also flexibility for the early kid years? Nursing is one that came to mind.

Typical woman jobs. Nursing and teaching.

However as a woman with a career that provides much more financial stability than those stereotypical jobs, I have a career in IT (which is absolutely not for people who want to take long breaks) I’m able to work from home and have an incredibly flexible schedule. I would hate being shackled to a building as many of these mom careers go. Bonus is I’ve been able to secure both my kids with incredible summer internships in Bo th high school and college at various technology companies, giving them a huge leg up. Privilege is a thing and I’m going to leverage it as much for my kids as possible. I think it’s pretty cool that my boys are following in my foot steps and not their father who is an attorney. They probably see my job as wayyy more flexible and better COL than their dad who is always in court or visiting clients/colleagues.

Nursing is an extremely stable job financially. I am an RN. I can find a job anywhere in the country. I am always in demand. If I leave a job, I will have another job within 4 weeks. I am typically offered sign on bonuses up to $20,000 for a floor job at a new healthcare company. Full time is 36 hours (3 X 12 hour shift) per week, and pays around $80000 a year. If I want to work 48 hours per week (4 X 12 hour shift), I make low six figures. If I chose to go to nurse practitioner school and get my NP license, I would make ($150,000 - $250,000). If I chose to be a travel nurse, I would make $150,000 - $200,000.

Both DH and I are RNs. Our household income was over $300,000 last year, with great benefits and lots of time off. It's hard work and not for everyone, but the flexibility and pay can't be beat.

Anonymous wrote:For emergency and primary care doctors and nurse practitioners, one option for going part-time is working urgent care because you can sign up for shifts and work very part time. I have a few friends with kids who are doctors that do a couple urgent care shifts a week. They are paid pretty well and they get to stay up to date.

I know a mom who does this--I think she also does some teladoc/telehealth type shifts.

I also know a therapist who sees patients a couple days a week. She has an agreement to "share" an office space with another therapist who is semi-retired that works other days/times.

Anonymous wrote:Your career doesn’t matter. It’s your DH.

Watch out your hetero normative is showing! Lesbians can marry, have kids and a career.

Also what if your dh dies or you get divorced? Good idea to be able to support oneself

Anonymous wrote:Not physician. You get a gap on resume and you get stigmatized. Its really difficult to rejoin.

Not my experience at all. (Though I can see that would happen in surgical specialties.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not an attorney.

Anything healthcare.

FFS don’t encourage your DDs to go into pink collar jobs for some mythical SAH dream. Let them do a career that earns real money and maybe interest them.

The option to SAH will depend on a lot of factors but largely if her husband is on board, and earns enough money to drop her income completely. Being able to re-enter is nice but meaningless — while she is home, if her DH earns enough she can just go back to school for year and retrain for a her former or a new career. SAH for 6 years vs 6 + 1 year grad courses is hardly that different as long as her husband can and is willing to be breadwinner.

PP was right, you as future grandma should try to maximize your income to help them have that option by giving them cash to get started, down payments, and no student debt. That’s way for valuable than encouraging them to hobble their careers out the gate for some mythical husband and kids.

I will not actively encourage this for my DD but as a mom in a field that is hard to leave and reenter, I personally regret not considering it more. A career where I am competing with men and am tied to a physical office for 40+ hours a week has made my life as a mom to little kids, one with special needs, a lot harder than it could have been as nurse or even a pediatrician who might have the ability to work a couple of days a week instead of 5. It sucks that this is a consideration but I want my DD to make her choices about the world based on how it actually is not how it should be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two teen DD’s. Both have expressed a hope that they can SAH or go part time when their children are young. Yea they know it’s not guaranteed, etc. But there are definitely some careers that seem more conducive to this than others. What are careers that provide independence/financial stability but also flexibility for the early kid years? Nursing is one that came to mind.

Typical woman jobs. Nursing and teaching.

However as a woman with a career that provides much more financial stability than those stereotypical jobs, I have a career in IT (which is absolutely not for people who want to take long breaks) I’m able to work from home and have an incredibly flexible schedule. I would hate being shackled to a building as many of these mom careers go. Bonus is I’ve been able to secure both my kids with incredible summer internships in Bo th high school and college at various technology companies, giving them a huge leg up. Privilege is a thing and I’m going to leverage it as much for my kids as possible. I think it’s pretty cool that my boys are following in my foot steps and not their father who is an attorney. They probably see my job as wayyy more flexible and better COL than their dad who is always in court or visiting clients/colleagues.

And wouldn't it be the cherry on top if they don't grow up to be self-centered twerps like you?

DP. She is only be honest. If possible, we all would give our kids every advantage we can. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar.

I doubt you would accuse the pp of this had they been male.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a fed and many people at my agency do this.

Nursing is another great suggestion, with basically infinite schedule flexibilities depending on area of specialty. (For example, my cousin is a NICU nurse and works 3 overnight shifts per week and can pick up as much overtime as she is willing to work.)

NICU and ICU nursing is particularly good if you live in a state (or, you become licensed in that state and get qualified to be a travel nurse in that state) which has a low patient-to-nurse ratio. That means nurses are more in demand, and the work is less stressful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not physician. You get a gap on resume and you get stigmatized. Its really difficult to rejoin.

Really? I thought someone on here said that physician is a good job for moms, because of flexibility.

Absolutely not any job where you need to keep up your skills. And what person (forget women!) wants to spend hundreds of thousands on their education and over a decade just to trash it?

My DH is a suegeon and is ALWAYS going to trainings and assisting other surgeons to learn the latest in treatments. It’s a lifetime of experience that just builds.

I think it depends on your specialty and how much leaning out you are doing. I have friends who job shared/did 2 days a week of in patient/stayed home for a first year before re joining their practice. I think physician is a good choice for women b/c you can drop in and out, medicine is set up that way where patients aren't really getting continuous care from one person. Anecdotally- physicians tend to be able to game their schedule and be able to both stay at home and work as much as they want and just seem to be happier than the attorneys who are always one the edge of losing it or basically just drop out completely for a while and IT ppl, ppl in corporate America also seem really stressed out. It might also be b/c the physicians dont expect themselves to cook or clean regardless wether they have kids or not, so they dont stress about that and can just focus on their jobs and their kids. the attorneys that I know who are happy have spouses that have less stressful jobs and do the majority of child related logistics/work othrwise they are the majority who just quit to stay home.

Anonymous wrote:Actually I know many transactional attorneys who have done this. During SAH years you can even do light consulting for past employers or Axiom-type places to keep your resume current. Especially if you have BigLaw experience first.

I'm a transactional attorney and it has been a good mom job. I worked in big law before kids and now I work for a small firm with a low billable hour requirement and I work remotely 4 out of 5 days a week. I've got it so good I ended up not wanting to take time off. I'm able to work from home, see my kids off to school, and see them in the afternoon and evenings. I have a nanny who helps a lot around the house, but I'm still around for everything.

K-12 Teaching in a LCOL area.

Anonymous wrote:Flight attendant. If you start young and stick with the same airline you can make six figures and pick your schedule. My BFF flies for a major carrier, has been there 26 years, and has a damm good life. It's not easy starting out, you can get crap trips or be on call, but it pays off in spades if you stick with it. Plus the long term benefits of free flights is appealing.

Better yet, pilot! My bestfriend just made captain while pregnant with her 3rd. She's taken at least 8 months off with each baby. She goes through periods where she works to bare minimum to keep her position and benefits, and other times when she works more because she enjoys it and wants to make a little extra money. I get it's not for everyone since it requires nights away, but she loves it. Her family flies all over the world for free, too.