Anonymous wrote:Back your kid up.

This happened to me when I was in HS. I had a disagreement with a teacher and she decided to pre-emptively accuse me of being a liar -- I hadn't even tried to tell anyone about what had happened yet, she just reported out to the school guidance counselor and my parents that I was "a liar" and not to trust what I said about the incident.

I think she knew if I told people what had happened, it would quickly become clear that she was either in the wrong OR it was a valid disagreement and she'd lost her temper with a student (which she had).

The school guidance counselor actually backed me up but my parents didn't. They apologized for my behavior and told the school they'd punish me at home, it was actually the guidance counselor who suggested it had been a misunderstanding and suggested we resolve it by just moving me to another section of that class with another teacher. I was moved and there were no issues in the new class, and everyone forgot about it.

Except I remembered that my parents had immediately disbelieved me and believed a teacher they had never even met over me. I also never forgot how that teacher preemptively tried to discredit me before I'd even told anyone what happened. Those lessons about when you can trust an adult and who I could rely on really stuck with me.

Back up your kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle school, I have a very open relationship with my child. Child came home and told me that there was an incident with a teacher suspecting watching videos on a laptop. He told me the story, his side was that a tab was open but he was only watching when allowed (between classes).

Then I see the email. Very very long email from his teacher basically tearing into my son. He's unethical, a liar, the whole nine. As a result of him being a liar, I'm sending him to detention and writing him up to the school.

I thought it was a total over reaction by the teacher. But also, who engages in a tear down of a kid like that.

I've never dealt with a teacher having that strong of reaction. He's never had discipline issues outside of this specific teacher. He's above grade level in everything.

How would you handle as a parent?

Kids need consequences and I suspect your son is not telling you the truth.

I would also request a meeting with the teacher to get more information on what is going on. There might be a lot more than this 1 incident.

Frankly, I would believe the teacher over my son. Middle schoolers do lots of stupid things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle school, I have a very open relationship with my child. Child came home and told me that there was an incident with a teacher suspecting watching videos on a laptop. He told me the story, his side was that a tab was open but he was only watching when allowed (between classes).

Then I see the email. Very very long email from his teacher basically tearing into my son. He's unethical, a liar, the whole nine. As a result of him being a liar, I'm sending him to detention and writing him up to the school.

I thought it was a total over reaction by the teacher. But also, who engages in a tear down of a kid like that.

I've never dealt with a teacher having that strong of reaction. He's never had discipline issues outside of this specific teacher. He's above grade level in everything.

How would you handle as a parent?

My child's 3rd grade teacher would shop on Amazon while the class was absorbed in coursework. One of the kids saw it and told his mom who told the other parents. Well, there really wasn't anything we could do about it.
When I was in 4th grade, my older sister noticed that my teacher only made a check mark on our homeworks. Older sister said my teacher was lazy for not going thru each sheet problem by problem. So one day I was helping out the 4th grade teacher, I naively and innocently remarked that my sister thought she was lazy for merely making check marks on our homeworks. Ms. 4th grade teacher became incensed and began yelling at me (in front of everyone). I don't remember what she said but I clearly touched a nerve.
It's called being defensive because they were caught being unprofessional.

I might save the information and give it to the school principal upon your child's promotion to the next school.

I am a teacher and I last week I was shopping on Amazon while my students were working. I was BUYING CLASSROOM SUPPLIES, with my own money.

God, you are a busybody idiot, you know that?

Parents like you are exactly the reason I am currently desperately trying to find another job in a different field. And you are the reason that I will walk out the day I get another job. Good luck finding somebody competent to perform for you in the classroom.

Why not monitor the children working, to help them complete the work promptly and effectively, and then shop for the class on Amazon during planning time?

Teachers #1 role is to be there for the kids, Teacher attention is worth a lot more than classroom supplies.

Anonymous wrote:So OP you want the teacher to say no problem there is no detention? As a teacher I would do that for you. I would also let you know that I would not be redirecting your child’s attention back to a lesson again during this quarter. You and you child are now responsible for his time on task in my classroom. I will grade fairly and assuming you and he are correct his grade will reflect his diligent attention and work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle school, I have a very open relationship with my child. Child came home and told me that there was an incident with a teacher suspecting watching videos on a laptop. He told me the story, his side was that a tab was open but he was only watching when allowed (between classes).

Then I see the email. Very very long email from his teacher basically tearing into my son. He's unethical, a liar, the whole nine. As a result of him being a liar, I'm sending him to detention and writing him up to the school.

I thought it was a total over reaction by the teacher. But also, who engages in a tear down of a kid like that.

I've never dealt with a teacher having that strong of reaction. He's never had discipline issues outside of this specific teacher. He's above grade level in everything.

How would you handle as a parent?

My child's 3rd grade teacher would shop on Amazon while the class was absorbed in coursework. One of the kids saw it and told his mom who told the other parents. Well, there really wasn't anything we could do about it.
When I was in 4th grade, my older sister noticed that my teacher only made a check mark on our homeworks. Older sister said my teacher was lazy for not going thru each sheet problem by problem. So one day I was helping out the 4th grade teacher, I naively and innocently remarked that my sister thought she was lazy for merely making check marks on our homeworks. Ms. 4th grade teacher became incensed and began yelling at me (in front of everyone). I don't remember what she said but I clearly touched a nerve.
It's called being defensive because they were caught being unprofessional.

I might save the information and give it to the school principal upon your child's promotion to the next school.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle school, I have a very open relationship with my child. Child came home and told me that there was an incident with a teacher suspecting watching videos on a laptop. He told me the story, his side was that a tab was open but he was only watching when allowed (between classes).

Then I see the email. Very very long email from his teacher basically tearing into my son. He's unethical, a liar, the whole nine. As a result of him being a liar, I'm sending him to detention and writing him up to the school.

I thought it was a total over reaction by the teacher. But also, who engages in a tear down of a kid like that.

I've never dealt with a teacher having that strong of reaction. He's never had discipline issues outside of this specific teacher. He's above grade level in everything.

How would you handle as a parent?

My child's 3rd grade teacher would shop on Amazon while the class was absorbed in coursework. One of the kids saw it and told his mom who told the other parents. Well, there really wasn't anything we could do about it.
When I was in 4th grade, my older sister noticed that my teacher only made a check mark on our homeworks. Older sister said my teacher was lazy for not going thru each sheet problem by problem. So one day I was helping out the 4th grade teacher, I naively and innocently remarked that my sister thought she was lazy for merely making check marks on our homeworks. Ms. 4th grade teacher became incensed and began yelling at me (in front of everyone). I don't remember what she said but I clearly touched a nerve.
It's called being defensive because they were caught being unprofessional.

I might save the information and give it to the school principal upon your child's promotion to the next school.

I am a teacher and I last week I was shopping on Amazon while my students were working. I was BUYING CLASSROOM SUPPLIES, with my own money.

God, you are a busybody idiot, you know that?

Parents like you are exactly the reason I am currently desperately trying to find another job in a different field. And you are the reason that I will walk out the day I get another job. Good luck finding somebody competent to perform for you in the classroom.

Why not monitor the children working, to help them complete the work promptly and effectively, and then shop for the class on Amazon during planning time?

Teachers #1 role is to be there for the kids, Teacher attention is worth a lot more than classroom supplies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Middle school, I have a very open relationship with my child. Child came home and told me that there was an incident with a teacher suspecting watching videos on a laptop. He told me the story, his side was that a tab was open but he was only watching when allowed (between classes).

Then I see the email. Very very long email from his teacher basically tearing into my son. He's unethical, a liar, the whole nine. As a result of him being a liar, I'm sending him to detention and writing him up to the school.

I thought it was a total over reaction by the teacher. But also, who engages in a tear down of a kid like that.

I've never dealt with a teacher having that strong of reaction. He's never had discipline issues outside of this specific teacher. He's above grade level in everything.

How would you handle as a parent?

My child's 3rd grade teacher would shop on Amazon while the class was absorbed in coursework. One of the kids saw it and told his mom who told the other parents. Well, there really wasn't anything we could do about it.
When I was in 4th grade, my older sister noticed that my teacher only made a check mark on our homeworks. Older sister said my teacher was lazy for not going thru each sheet problem by problem. So one day I was helping out the 4th grade teacher, I naively and innocently remarked that my sister thought she was lazy for merely making check marks on our homeworks. Ms. 4th grade teacher became incensed and began yelling at me (in front of everyone). I don't remember what she said but I clearly touched a nerve.
It's called being defensive because they were caught being unprofessional.

I might save the information and give it to the school principal upon your child's promotion to the next school.

I am a teacher and I last week I was shopping on Amazon while my students were working. I was BUYING CLASSROOM SUPPLIES, with my own money.

God, you are a busybody idiot, you know that?

Parents like you are exactly the reason I am currently desperately trying to find another job in a different field. And you are the reason that I will walk out the day I get another job. Good luck finding somebody competent to perform for you in the classroom.

Anonymous wrote:Middle school, I have a very open relationship with my child. Child came home and told me that there was an incident with a teacher suspecting watching videos on a laptop. He told me the story, his side was that a tab was open but he was only watching when allowed (between classes).

Then I see the email. Very very long email from his teacher basically tearing into my son. He's unethical, a liar, the whole nine. As a result of him being a liar, I'm sending him to detention and writing him up to the school.

I thought it was a total over reaction by the teacher. But also, who engages in a tear down of a kid like that.

I've never dealt with a teacher having that strong of reaction. He's never had discipline issues outside of this specific teacher. He's above grade level in everything.

How would you handle as a parent?

Anonymous wrote:Before going around half-cocked, get a conference or phone call with the teacher. Talk to them. Listen to their side. Share your side. Learn. Then decide if this should be mentioned to the principal. Don’t just fly off the handle because of an email. Be open that more could be happening. Your child could be doing other shenanigans, too. Better to find out now so that you can straight the path for your DC. If the teacher still seems unhinged, then go to the principal. It’s not great to over-react to everything in life. Put yourself in the shoes of a teacher today. Be empathetic.