Anonymous wrote:I had a HS English teacher who took me under her wing a little bit. I remember she said my writing was very cerebral (I had to look it up). She was the first person who suggested a career to me--editing or teaching--and it blew my mind because my parents didn't take note of my strengths and I was living in a pretty bad situation. That teacher made me feel like I could DO something. I wrote her when I went to grad school to thank her for her encouragement. Literally just a few offhand comments but they were so meaningful.

I am a literacy teacher now and it brings me great joy to give compliments to my students and the kids in my life.

Touching story. Thanks for sharing.

I remember comments as much as compliments. People pointing out traits:
“Look at her freckles”
“There’s those crazy curls”
“Does anyone else have light eyes in your family?”
Those just made me self conscious.

A doctor called me precocious when I was about 10 years old and visiting my aunt in the hospital.

Anonymous wrote:I had a normal childhood and upbringing, not wealthy but comfortable (vacations were always driving to other relatives homes), and I don't remember any stand out compliments or insults.

I am shocked at the items you all remember, and seem to dwell on. And I now realize why so many are in therapy

You didn't come out of your normal childhood as unscathed as you think you did.

On the last day of eighth grade, my math teacher hugged me goodbye and whispered in my ear, “You’re going to be the valedictorian.” I was really surprised and wondered how she could think that about someone who hadn’t even started high school yet. I don’t know if it was a compliment meant to boost my confidence or a prediction, nor do I know if she said the same thing to any of my classmates, but four years later, I was the valedictorian.

Anonymous wrote:As someone who remembers specific compliments, it makes me so sad that people don’t seem to remember any or draw from them in any way.

I remember the compliments I've received as an adult more than the ones from my childhood. They mean more to me.

I remember many compliments given by teachers--I didn't receive many compliments or pats on the back at home, so they were precious to me. I had teachers tell me I was smart or a good helper, good sense of humor, good artist etc. It carried me through to later years when I needed those affirmations to get me through. I had a very cantankerous fourth grade teacher who probably should have retired already and that year was pretty miserable. Fifth grade we moved and my new teacher had just graduated from college and had no control over the classroom or mean kids, so that year was miserable. Sixth was somewhat better. But first through third were great.

At the end of second grade, my older sister was murdered (she was an adult). It was a really awful time for me and there was a week shortly after that when I went home every day after lunch. I just couldn't bear to sit in class and would tell the teacher I didn't feel good and she'd let me go home. She'd call me her half day bug and hug me and let me go. That meant everything to me. I was so worried she'd call me out for faking but she never did. I was thinking about it when I was about to turn 40 and decided to look her up and write a letter thanking her for her gentleness with me during that time. She wrote back and said she remembered it and thanked me for writing and that she had only heard from about 3-4 students in her entire career and my letter meant a lot to her.

Kids remember the way adults make them feel--good and bad.

I was 11 yo and a friend’s dad told me I had great legs.