It's interesting how cultural this is.

Those of you who don't mind your kids living with you into adulthood: don't you want to run around naked, have sex everywhere, cook whenever you want to and have friends/other couples over without your kids there?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That wouldn’t totally alienate your kids?

Mom ran the vacuum at 6:00 am in the hallway outside of our bedrooms so we would go out, get jobs, and move out.
It did not alienate us.

This!! get the hell out after HS.


---American parent who wants a life for herself after 18 years.

You start emptying the nest long before they really leave. I don't know why ppl don't do this.
You tell them starting in elementary, that at age 18, or August after their senior year, they're out, and to plan accordingly,
either going to college or getting a job and moving out.
And you make life uncomfortable living with you so they can't wait.

Dad told us to talk to the military recruiters.

My sister ended up joining the Marines as an officer as she could not find work after graduating from her Ivy.
There were several classmates from her Ivy who also joined the Marines as officers post graduation from the Ivy.

Anonymous wrote:That wouldn’t totally alienate your kids?

Mom ran the vacuum at 6:00 am in the hallway outside of our bedrooms so we would go out, get jobs, and move out.
It did not alienate us.

Nothing. I have raised well-adjusted kids who are high achievers. They will be getting a well-paying STEM job once they are out of college. They can stay at our house for as long as they want. No rent, no paying for food etc. Of course, they are raised to know how we all live together in harmony. They are not unpleasant people to live with.

-Asian American parent.

I would charge them rent and have them do a list of chores, including making at least one meal a week, to contribute to the household. If they are willing to do all this, then it's fine for them to stay!

Hispanic Parent here, I wish my kids stay with me a bit longer, they are planning or moved out after they graduated college.

I would ask them to all snuggle with me on Sunday mornings just like when they were little kids. That’ll get them to empty the nest.

Anonymous wrote:Its A-OK with me. In fact, it is my dream scenario. We end up buying a bigger house together in an expensive neighborhood with all the bells and whistles and we all can live in a joint multi-generational family.

Obviouly, my expectation is - they are saving money, doing a job, getting more certification, living a life of moderation, doing their part in running the house, do not have addiction issues, are taking care of their health, are good spouse and parents, priortizing the education of their children, willing to pitch in money for outsourcing chores.

DH and I will continue to live in DMV. we have a nice house in an inexpensive area that is very convenient. Also, my kids will get married in a few years. I want a big enough house to host everyone.

I have retained their rooms as they left it with all their stufff here. They come and go as they please. This is their home for as long as they want it. we will downsize whenever life make us move as it inevitably will. LOL! We plan to age in place and we are already prepping our house for it. We are in our late 50s. Planning to do Swedish death cleanse by 60. God willing.

Fart a lot. That did it for me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our friends who were having this issue sold the family home once the youngest was in college, put everything in storage, and traveled for over a year. They then moved into a townhome and let the kids know they were welcome to visit but can't live with them anymore. From an outsiders perspective, it was well played!

I’d tell my parents to F*** off. They’d be extra pleased I’m sure at the grandkids they’d never be allowed to meet.

So your love is conditional on your parents financially supporting you as an adult? And to stick it to your parents, you'd cutoff your kids from a relationship with their grandparents? This is super unhealthy. My parents didn't do anything for me financially after paying for my education and I still love them. And I try to tell them how grateful I am for everything they've done for me as often as possible, certainly every mother's day, father's day and birthday. And I love the relationship they have with my kids. I'm happy they are happy. You know?

If you would allow your child to be homeless rather than take them in, then you are a horrible parent.

American families are broken for a reason.

How can a parent win then? Being homeless is part of living and not doing anything. If you graduated high school you can get a job. It’s silly to blame parents for this.

Win? Yikes

Anonymous wrote:Change locks. Move to studio. Wake up early and vacuum.

It really does annoy everybody except for me, the vacuumer.

Empty it. SHAKE them out of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our friends who were having this issue sold the family home once the youngest was in college, put everything in storage, and traveled for over a year. They then moved into a townhome and let the kids know they were welcome to visit but can't live with them anymore. From an outsiders perspective, it was well played!

I’d tell my parents to F*** off. They’d be extra pleased I’m sure at the grandkids they’d never be allowed to meet.

So your love is conditional on your parents financially supporting you as an adult? And to stick it to your parents, you'd cutoff your kids from a relationship with their grandparents? This is super unhealthy. My parents didn't do anything for me financially after paying for my education and I still love them. And I try to tell them how grateful I am for everything they've done for me as often as possible, certainly every mother's day, father's day and birthday. And I love the relationship they have with my kids. I'm happy they are happy. You know?

If you would allow your child to be homeless rather than take them in, then you are a horrible parent.

American families are broken for a reason.

How can a parent win then? Being homeless is part of living and not doing anything. If you graduated high school you can get a job. It’s silly to blame parents for this.