Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 19:57     Subject: Middle-class, reasonable, not extravagant retirement plans
Anonymous wrote:
I would have LOVED if my parents had moved in with us. We have a huge house for just DW & I and parents who lived thousands of miles away in Florida. When they got older and developed health problems, we had to keep flying down to help take care of them, which was really hard. We begged them to move in with us and would have loved for them to have spent their last years in our home.


Anonymous wrote:

What are your normal person retirement plans? What are the best choices you feel you've made in this respect? Any regrets? What worries you most? Are you moving to a lower COL area or hoping to retire in your home once it's paid off? Does social security factor into your plans? How do you plan for end-of-life care? Will you have enough to do some of your bucket list retirement goals, like travel or being able to help pay for grandkids to go to college?



We are about 8 years away from retirement in a HCOL area with very high property taxes. We have saved about 1.5mil and are aiming for 2.3mil. No pensions. I think it'll be plenty for our bucket list of travel, but my DW fears we'll need more for end-of-life care, since we don't have kids. We both are also OK going to somewhere that will help us shuffle off this mortal coil if we have a diagnosis that seems bleak.

My spouse plans to work until 70 and do p-t work until she doesn't want to anymore. I plan to retire when she hits 70 (I'm 6 years younger) or taper to part time work sooner if possible. My FT job pays for our health insurance, so I'm trying to keep working as long as possible to hold on to that or at least until my spouse hits 65.

We have a mortgage now and will downsize to a smaller home without a mortgage with slightly lower taxes when we retire. We love our area and would rather be in a smaller house here than a bigger house in a LCOL or MCOL area. Our friends are here, the culture and food we love is here, the access to great airports is here, and -- most importantly -- the access to world-class medical care and top specialists.


You are wealthy, not middle class.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 19:56     Subject: Middle-class, reasonable, not extravagant retirement plans
Anonymous wrote:I have a teacher pension that I pay 7.5% of salary into. Should get about 50% of yearly salary when I retire plus Social security. Wife has no benefits so we save at least $1k a month in her 403b. My parents are transferring there Roth IRA over to my brother and I to avoid a future tax hit, but I don’t really count that money since it is the last money I plan to touch in retirement and will probably Lu get passed on to my heirs. We have about $350k total in retirement at ages 45 and 50. Ever since daughter was born we have saved about $200 a month in a 529. In Maryland that is free from state taxes so basically a free 3% plus growth She is 13 with about $45k so far.

Most middle class people should put up to the match in a 401k/403b/457b. (Which ever spouse has the best low fee plan.). Then try to max out a Roth IRA. Low income people are eligible for the savers credit on taxes so they should really focus saving any way possible!


Real middle class don't have savings like that.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 19:55     Subject: Middle-class, reasonable, not extravagant retirement plans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are going to retire at 70 - DH and I both have cerebral jobs. We are going to sell our house and move in with our son - he and his wife have an inlaw apartment that is a perfect size for what DH and I want in an older stage of life. Their house is in a great area with tons to do, good hospitals and we are active people who hopefully won't have mobility issues. Our two DD's live ten minutes and a half hour from DS so we'll be pretty close to all the kids.


Gosh sounds enmeshed. Anyone else have tips without mental health baggage?


Agree. This is nuts.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 18:55     Subject: Middle-class, reasonable, not extravagant retirement plans

I would have LOVED if my parents had moved in with us. We have a huge house for just DW & I and parents who lived thousands of miles away in Florida. When they got older and developed health problems, we had to keep flying down to help take care of them, which was really hard. We begged them to move in with us and would have loved for them to have spent their last years in our home.


Anonymous wrote:

What are your normal person retirement plans? What are the best choices you feel you've made in this respect? Any regrets? What worries you most? Are you moving to a lower COL area or hoping to retire in your home once it's paid off? Does social security factor into your plans? How do you plan for end-of-life care? Will you have enough to do some of your bucket list retirement goals, like travel or being able to help pay for grandkids to go to college?



We are about 8 years away from retirement in a HCOL area with very high property taxes. We have saved about 1.5mil and are aiming for 2.3mil. No pensions. I think it'll be plenty for our bucket list of travel, but my DW fears we'll need more for end-of-life care, since we don't have kids. We both are also OK going to somewhere that will help us shuffle off this mortal coil if we have a diagnosis that seems bleak.

My spouse plans to work until 70 and do p-t work until she doesn't want to anymore. I plan to retire when she hits 70 (I'm 6 years younger) or taper to part time work sooner if possible. My FT job pays for our health insurance, so I'm trying to keep working as long as possible to hold on to that or at least until my spouse hits 65.

We have a mortgage now and will downsize to a smaller home without a mortgage with slightly lower taxes when we retire. We love our area and would rather be in a smaller house here than a bigger house in a LCOL or MCOL area. Our friends are here, the culture and food we love is here, the access to great airports is here, and -- most importantly -- the access to world-class medical care and top specialists.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 16:44     Subject: Middle-class, reasonable, not extravagant retirement plans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are going to retire at 70 - DH and I both have cerebral jobs. We are going to sell our house and move in with our son - he and his wife have an inlaw apartment that is a perfect size for what DH and I want in an older stage of life. Their house is in a great area with tons to do, good hospitals and we are active people who hopefully won't have mobility issues. Our two DD's live ten minutes and a half hour from DS so we'll be pretty close to all the kids.


Gosh sounds enmeshed. Anyone else have tips without mental health baggage?


Not sure why you think that. We'll have our own entrance, and own kitchen and living space. It's like an apartment that's attached to his house. We get along very nicely with all our kids and we all enjoy spending time together. Dh and I have couple friends and our own friends. We each volunteer and have hobbies. We'll have plenty of time for all that plus for our kids. Right now they rent out the apartment. When we are a year or six months away from moving in, they're going to do some upgrades.


I don't know why everyone is giving you such a hard time. I think this sounds great. (I'm the kid, not the parent. I would be happy if my in laws did this, too, not just my own parents.)


I am the poster who said above that I have a great relationship with my parents but would still never do this. Have you actually experienced living with your parents, as an adult with your own spouse and children, for an extended period of time? We did this during Covid - stayed in the same (large) house - and it drove me crazy after a month!


NP-there is a difference between living in one house, and living in a separate unit, a 2 family house.

As a child helping my elderly parents-no, living an hour away is NOT a good idea when I can live 4 minutes away like I do now! I don't want to drive an hour to go bring up the trash cans, or do my daily check/visit.

My married dd and her dh have talked about renovating their basement rec room into an in-law unit for me someday. I could live there and help with my future grandchildren. Why would I NOT? I'd have my own private space, they would have their private house, and their future kids would always have a parent or grandparent to care for them.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 12:17     Subject: Middle-class, reasonable, not extravagant retirement plans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are going to retire at 70 - DH and I both have cerebral jobs. We are going to sell our house and move in with our son - he and his wife have an inlaw apartment that is a perfect size for what DH and I want in an older stage of life. Their house is in a great area with tons to do, good hospitals and we are active people who hopefully won't have mobility issues. Our two DD's live ten minutes and a half hour from DS so we'll be pretty close to all the kids.


Gosh sounds enmeshed. Anyone else have tips without mental health baggage?


Not sure why you think that. We'll have our own entrance, and own kitchen and living space. It's like an apartment that's attached to his house. We get along very nicely with all our kids and we all enjoy spending time together. Dh and I have couple friends and our own friends. We each volunteer and have hobbies. We'll have plenty of time for all that plus for our kids. Right now they rent out the apartment. When we are a year or six months away from moving in, they're going to do some upgrades.


I don't know why everyone is giving you such a hard time. I think this sounds great. (I'm the kid, not the parent. I would be happy if my in laws did this, too, not just my own parents.)


I am the poster who said above that I have a great relationship with my parents but would still never do this. Have you actually experienced living with your parents, as an adult with your own spouse and children, for an extended period of time? We did this during Covid - stayed in the same (large) house - and it drove me crazy after a month!
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 12:13     Subject: Re:Middle-class, reasonable, not extravagant retirement plans
Anonymous wrote:This is what terrifies me. This man started forgetting things at age 62, the year he retired. By age 67, he was in a memory care unit. His wife went back to work to pay for his care and the daughter send $500/month.

The wife works full time now and her gross salary does not even cover the cost of his care.

This is why I’m all for assisted suicide for myself if I get sick. The problem is one doesn’t realize they have Alzheimer’s or they find out and then it’s too late to do anything.



Here is the link:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2023/03/18/senior-care-costs-too-high/
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 12:12     Subject: Re:Middle-class, reasonable, not extravagant retirement plans
This is what terrifies me. This man started forgetting things at age 62, the year he retired. By age 67, he was in a memory care unit. His wife went back to work to pay for his care and the daughter send $500/month.

The wife works full time now and her gross salary does not even cover the cost of his care.

This is why I’m all for assisted suicide for myself if I get sick. The problem is one doesn’t realize they have Alzheimer’s or they find out and then it’s too late to do anything.

Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 11:46     Subject: Middle-class, reasonable, not extravagant retirement plans
I make about $200k per year. I’ve always maxed out my retirement plan, so I’m counting on it plus social security to see me through old age. I also have some investment real estate that I’ll likely sell and just buy an annuity with the proceeds. I’m not counting on home equity for personal reasons.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 11:36     Subject: Middle-class, reasonable, not extravagant retirement plans
We make about $150k a year. Have ten years left on the mortgage (we’re 50) but that will only reduce our costs by $1k a month. Will still have to pay $15k a year in property tax. Will likely Airbnb our basement apartment when the kids are in college and during retirement if needed - or we could downsize to a lower cost of living which would free up the considerably equity we have in the house. We put $50k a year into retirement right now and have more than $1m plus a healthy brokerage account. We also might get a few hundred thousand in inheritance at some point (hopefully not soon).
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 11:29     Subject: Middle-class, reasonable, not extravagant retirement plans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are going to retire at 70 - DH and I both have cerebral jobs. We are going to sell our house and move in with our son - he and his wife have an inlaw apartment that is a perfect size for what DH and I want in an older stage of life. Their house is in a great area with tons to do, good hospitals and we are active people who hopefully won't have mobility issues. Our two DD's live ten minutes and a half hour from DS so we'll be pretty close to all the kids.


Gosh sounds enmeshed. Anyone else have tips without mental health baggage?


Not sure why you think that. We'll have our own entrance, and own kitchen and living space. It's like an apartment that's attached to his house. We get along very nicely with all our kids and we all enjoy spending time together. Dh and I have couple friends and our own friends. We each volunteer and have hobbies. We'll have plenty of time for all that plus for our kids. Right now they rent out the apartment. When we are a year or six months away from moving in, they're going to do some upgrades.


I don't know why everyone is giving you such a hard time. I think this sounds great. (I'm the kid, not the parent. I would be happy if my in laws did this, too, not just my own parents.)
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 11:25     Subject: Middle-class, reasonable, not extravagant retirement plans
Anonymous wrote:I have a teacher pension that I pay 7.5% of salary into. Should get about 50% of yearly salary when I retire plus Social security. Wife has no benefits so we save at least $1k a month in her 403b. My parents are transferring there Roth IRA over to my brother and I to avoid a future tax hit, but I don’t really count that money since it is the last money I plan to touch in retirement and will probably Lu get passed on to my heirs. We have about $350k total in retirement at ages 45 and 50. Ever since daughter was born we have saved about $200 a month in a 529. In Maryland that is free from state taxes so basically a free 3% plus growth She is 13 with about $45k so far.

Most middle class people should put up to the match in a 401k/403b/457b. (Which ever spouse has the best low fee plan.). Then try to max out a Roth IRA. Low income people are eligible for the savers credit on taxes so they should really focus saving any way possible!


How are they transferring their ROTHs to you? There is no tax hit with ROTHs, unless your parent’s total estate is over the max. Plus, I did not think ROTHs could be transferred. If you inherit one, you have to liquidate it within ten years.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 11:14     Subject: Middle-class, reasonable, not extravagant retirement plans
Anonymous wrote:I don’t want to be critical to the future retirees at 70 poster, but I remember clearly during my Lamaze/childbirth classes, the psychologist advised us future parents to avoid living in very close proximity with our in-laws. He said, “live at least over an hour away.”


I'm a psychologist and I would question the judgment of a psychologist that made blanket advice statements like that. It varies by situation.
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 10:37     Subject: Middle-class, reasonable, not extravagant retirement plans
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are going to retire at 70 - DH and I both have cerebral jobs. We are going to sell our house and move in with our son - he and his wife have an inlaw apartment that is a perfect size for what DH and I want in an older stage of life. Their house is in a great area with tons to do, good hospitals and we are active people who hopefully won't have mobility issues. Our two DD's live ten minutes and a half hour from DS so we'll be pretty close to all the kids.


Gosh sounds enmeshed. Anyone else have tips without mental health baggage?


Not sure why you think that. We'll have our own entrance, and own kitchen and living space. It's like an apartment that's attached to his house. We get along very nicely with all our kids and we all enjoy spending time together. Dh and I have couple friends and our own friends. We each volunteer and have hobbies. We'll have plenty of time for all that plus for our kids. Right now they rent out the apartment. When we are a year or six months away from moving in, they're going to do some upgrades.


I’m so curious to know how the DIL feels about this and whose idea this was! This is super crazy close, I can’t imagine doing this to my kids. Do you not think about their marriage or privacy?

Not the PP but my Aunt has my grandparents live with her. It was a great arrangement for them, for her own family and for the extended family.


My grandmother lived with us from age 67 until she died at 87 (in a basement apartment). It worked out well so it seems totally normal to me. She helped my parents a lot with housekeeping and babysitting us (which I think she didn’t mind, but I have no idea).
Anonymous
Post 03/18/2023 10:07     Subject: Middle-class, reasonable, not extravagant retirement plans
I have a teacher pension that I pay 7.5% of salary into. Should get about 50% of yearly salary when I retire plus Social security. Wife has no benefits so we save at least $1k a month in her 403b. My parents are transferring there Roth IRA over to my brother and I to avoid a future tax hit, but I don’t really count that money since it is the last money I plan to touch in retirement and will probably Lu get passed on to my heirs. We have about $350k total in retirement at ages 45 and 50. Ever since daughter was born we have saved about $200 a month in a 529. In Maryland that is free from state taxes so basically a free 3% plus growth She is 13 with about $45k so far.

Most middle class people should put up to the match in a 401k/403b/457b. (Which ever spouse has the best low fee plan.). Then try to max out a Roth IRA. Low income people are eligible for the savers credit on taxes so they should really focus saving any way possible!