Anonymous
03/17/2023 13:36
Subject: Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman
I realize I only ask my kid about school when we talk. And the habit is harder to break on his end now that he thinks that's all I want to hear about. So I'd recommend establishing regular check-ins (like maybe once a week?) and having them call you, versus you calling them, and letting them talk about what they want versus you peppering with questions about how classes are going.
Anonymous
03/16/2023 17:36
Subject: Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman
Whatever bank they use for their ATM card. We have Capital One I can easily transfer funds to the kids accou ts, and Cap One sent them cc applications at our home address
Anonymous
03/16/2023 17:02
Subject: Re:Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman
Besides Discover, are there other credit cards that parents recommend?
Lampsplus
03/16/2023 17:01
Subject: Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman
Okay. But in the application they should use their home address?
Anonymous
03/16/2023 17:00
Subject: Re:Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman
Lampsplus wrote:If DC gets their own credit card, should the monthly statements come to their (my) house or go to their campus mailbox?
Neither, they should do paperless.
Lampsplus
03/16/2023 17:00
Subject: Re:Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman
If DC gets their own credit card, should the monthly statements come to their (my) house or go to their campus mailbox?
Anonymous
03/16/2023 16:40
Subject: Re:Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman
Tell your child: Don’t be afraid to get RAs or even campus police involved if your room refuses to lock the door and leaves it propped open, burns sage or incense, smokes pot or cigarettes, gets annoyed at you for waking up at 7am, is loud at night with partying etc.
Anonymous
03/16/2023 16:38
Subject: Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman
Anonymous wrote:Agree with 12 credits first semester IF your student has enough APs that it won't sent them back or cause them to need to attend Sumner school
However, in my experience (3 kids), the ones with "enough APs" are not the ones who need less than 15-17 credits. They are likely well prepared for college and can handle fall semester with 15-17 credits.
Anonymous
03/16/2023 16:03
Subject: Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman
Anonymous wrote:Advice re: dorm rooms --
1) Don't mail everything ahead of time and expect the dorm mail rooms to be on top of things. At my kid's large state university, the parents' FB group was reporting weeks' worth of delay in sorting and distributing packages, and some apparently grew legs and walked away because there wasn't a secure place to store everything.
2) Don't go overboard on decorating your kid's dorm room like it needs to be Insta-ready at a moment's notice. At the end of the year, so much stuff ends up in the dumpster -- no, your kid really doesn't need peel and stick wallpaper, fake ivy garlands to hang all around the room, multiple toiletry and make-up carts, etc. It's mind-boggling.
3) It's OK if your kid doesn't match with a roommate ahead of time. I see so much on the parents' groups about kids who are frantic that they didn't find someone to live with who is going to be their best friend forever and ever and ever! Random matching will be OK, and if it's not OK, it's a good opportunity for the kid to negotiate with the roommate and then advocate for themselves for a transfer/roommate switch if things really, really, really are not OK.
4) Depending on where the school is and how transportation is going to work - consider whether you can stage summer/fall/spring vs. winter clothing so their entire wardrobe doesn't have to fit in the closet/drawers.
Some sound advice here. Fortunately DS didn't take that much, so we were able to swing most of it in checked baggage on the flight and the winter stuff during fall break. Dropped DD in car. Pretty full, but could have been worse (based on the cars we saw at drop off). Heard horror stories from friends who shipped.
Both kids ended up at schools with no matching allowed for room mates. DD didn't go down the rabbit hole of many of her HS friends and coordinate headboards, quilts, etc. While I was relieved that wasn't happening, I was also worried that meant that she was in denial about leaving for school. Worked out well as their room size couldn't accommodate headboards (which I didn't want to pay for- some of her friends were getting custom ones!) and her room mate probably couldn't afford to spring for a tricked out scene. They coordinated on a full length mirror and that was it. DS is even in tighter quarters in a triple. The 3 roomies agreed on a frig and that was it.
Anonymous
03/16/2023 15:56
Subject: Re:Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman
Anonymous wrote:About the meal plan, I would get the 21 meal plan.
The reason is when I went to college, the people that were on flexible plans tended to much more easily developed into a night owl pattern. They skipped breakfast, were much more likely to eat out, and were late night pizza people. It was soooo easy to fall in that pattern. It wasn't the money issue I would be concerned about, it was a less healthy lifestyle. I knew people that could never wake up early enough for their morning classes.
I was on a 21 meal plan and generally got part of a crew that woke up and tried to eat by 8am or so or felt we were getting ripped off. Sure, I still went out at night and had the occasional late night fast food and pizza, but there were people that were doing that every night and putting on the weight. I mean around midnight, kids were ravenous starving, eating garbage around 1am, and then it wasn't easy for them to fall asleep.
I mean it wasn't like the cafeteria food was super healthy either, but the more you ate there, the less hungry you were late at night. The campuses are just surrounded by predatory late night pizza and fast food places.
Anonymous
03/16/2023 15:53
Subject: Re:Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman
About the meal plan, I would get the 21 meal plan.
The reason is when I went to college, the people that were on flexible plans tended to much more easily developed into a night owl pattern. They skipped breakfast, were much more likely to eat out, and were late night pizza people. It was soooo easy to fall in that pattern. It wasn't the money issue I would be concerned about, it was a less healthy lifestyle. I knew people that could never wake up early enough for their morning classes.
I was on a 21 meal plan and generally got part of a crew that woke up and tried to eat by 8am or so or felt we were getting ripped off. Sure, I still went out at night and had the occasional late night fast food and pizza, but there were people that were doing that every night and putting on the weight. I mean around midnight, kids were ravenous starving, eating garbage around 1am, and then it wasn't easy for them to fall asleep.
I mean it wasn't like the cafeteria food was super healthy either, but the more you ate there, the less hungry you were late at night. The campuses are just surrounded by predatory late night pizza and fast food places.
The reason is when I went to college, the people that were on flexible plans tended to much more easily developed into a night owl pattern. They skipped breakfast, were much more likely to eat out, and were late night pizza people. It was soooo easy to fall in that pattern. It wasn't the money issue I would be concerned about, it was a less healthy lifestyle. I knew people that could never wake up early enough for their morning classes.
I was on a 21 meal plan and generally got part of a crew that woke up and tried to eat by 8am or so or felt we were getting ripped off. Sure, I still went out at night and had the occasional late night fast food and pizza, but there were people that were doing that every night and putting on the weight. I mean around midnight, kids were ravenous starving, eating garbage around 1am, and then it wasn't easy for them to fall asleep.
I mean it wasn't like the cafeteria food was super healthy either, but the more you ate there, the less hungry you were late at night. The campuses are just surrounded by predatory late night pizza and fast food places.
Anonymous
03/16/2023 15:50
Subject: Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman
Advice re: dorm rooms --
1) Don't mail everything ahead of time and expect the dorm mail rooms to be on top of things. At my kid's large state university, the parents' FB group was reporting weeks' worth of delay in sorting and distributing packages, and some apparently grew legs and walked away because there wasn't a secure place to store everything.
2) Don't go overboard on decorating your kid's dorm room like it needs to be Insta-ready at a moment's notice. At the end of the year, so much stuff ends up in the dumpster -- no, your kid really doesn't need peel and stick wallpaper, fake ivy garlands to hang all around the room, multiple toiletry and make-up carts, etc. It's mind-boggling.
3) It's OK if your kid doesn't match with a roommate ahead of time. I see so much on the parents' groups about kids who are frantic that they didn't find someone to live with who is going to be their best friend forever and ever and ever! Random matching will be OK, and if it's not OK, it's a good opportunity for the kid to negotiate with the roommate and then advocate for themselves for a transfer/roommate switch if things really, really, really are not OK.
4) Depending on where the school is and how transportation is going to work - consider whether you can stage summer/fall/spring vs. winter clothing so their entire wardrobe doesn't have to fit in the closet/drawers.
1) Don't mail everything ahead of time and expect the dorm mail rooms to be on top of things. At my kid's large state university, the parents' FB group was reporting weeks' worth of delay in sorting and distributing packages, and some apparently grew legs and walked away because there wasn't a secure place to store everything.
2) Don't go overboard on decorating your kid's dorm room like it needs to be Insta-ready at a moment's notice. At the end of the year, so much stuff ends up in the dumpster -- no, your kid really doesn't need peel and stick wallpaper, fake ivy garlands to hang all around the room, multiple toiletry and make-up carts, etc. It's mind-boggling.
3) It's OK if your kid doesn't match with a roommate ahead of time. I see so much on the parents' groups about kids who are frantic that they didn't find someone to live with who is going to be their best friend forever and ever and ever! Random matching will be OK, and if it's not OK, it's a good opportunity for the kid to negotiate with the roommate and then advocate for themselves for a transfer/roommate switch if things really, really, really are not OK.
4) Depending on where the school is and how transportation is going to work - consider whether you can stage summer/fall/spring vs. winter clothing so their entire wardrobe doesn't have to fit in the closet/drawers.
Anonymous
03/16/2023 14:23
Subject: Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Well the applications have been reviewed and my DC is excited about one of his choices and is about to put a deposit on his choice. So now it is time to think about how we manage the practicalities of his college years. I wecome advice on what parents of a new college Freshman should know such as:
How do we decide which meal plan--set number of meals per week, Flex Dollars, or a combination?
My DC will have personal expenses in addition to tuition., books, room and board--how is reasonable for us to contribute and how should we do so
Should we add our son to a credit card?
How do we continue to get access to his academic performance in real time? And Should we?
What other practical advice would you give us?
I don't think you can, and I don't think you should. Don't get me wrong, my DC is getting ready to leave too and we consider school his primary job and will set a floor for his performace, but outside of asking how things are going and being available to problem solve if there is an issue - we'll just see the report cards.
Not true re accessing records. Under federal law, colleges can provide parents copies of student records if the child is claimed as a dependent on the parents' tax return. From a practical matter, most colleges don't do this. It's easier just to have your child sign a waiver that gives you access.
As for how much to contribute and whether to put your child on your credit card, those are personal decisions and will depend on your family's financial situation, etc.
I was on my parents' credit card when I was in college, and DC is on our credit card. However, that depends on how reliable the kid is with money and keeping track of things. If you don't trust your child to stay in a budget and want them to have a credit card, consider opening a credit card with a low limit and have them only on that card -- but check it regularly. If you're concerned they will lose the card, then maybe it's not a good idea. One option is to put your card on their ApplePay.
I got my first credit card at 18 with a $1600 limit. Had a four-year credit history and 770+ score by graduation.
Anonymous
03/16/2023 14:21
Subject: Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman
Anonymous wrote:Agree with 12 credits first semester IF your student has enough APs that it won't sent them back or cause them to need to attend Sumner school
A summer or winter class is no big deal. Could be done online or in-person.
Anonymous
03/16/2023 14:17
Subject: Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman
Agree with 12 credits first semester IF your student has enough APs that it won't sent them back or cause them to need to attend Sumner school