Anonymous
03/14/2023 13:07
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
I agree. If bf is a trooper, let him be with your other kids and you and your husband in one room.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 13:07
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
If the boyfriend is already as well integrated into the family as you say he is, then put the four of them in a single room and try to make sure it’s a big one. I would not get them their own room.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 13:05
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Did it multiple times and still doing it. DD and her bf are almost 20. We get adjoining rooms in all inclusive resorts and the boys stay together same with girls. The 2 resorts with adjoining rooms have a door in between which we keep open like one huge room. Bf ‘s comfy with my DH.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 13:04
Subject: Re:Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for all the good advice. I guess there really isn’t a cut and dry answer. To clarify a few things…
The other kids are college girl and HS boy.
Saying it might not set a good example was poorly worded. I guess I meant that it could make them uncomfortable, especially her little brother. Her sister couldn’t care less.
The boyfriend is extremely outgoing and will happily just roll with whatever setup we decide on. He has spent lots of time with us and our other kids adore him.
We are inviting him because we genuinely think it would be fun to have him there. It was our idea, not theirs.
Our family vacations have always been all 5 of us crammed in a hotel room. Our kids prefer that to vacation rentals because it’s just easier. So having 4 in a room is going to feel spacious to my other kids. Lol.
I had not thought of putting all four “kids” together. I am leaning towards just asking dd what she would be comfortable with.
I don't know, OP, your family sounds easygoing and fun, why do you need our input? I can't believe they prefer you all share a room and I nearly want to ask your advice on how to raise kids like this, because my kids can't even share a bunk bed without rioting.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 13:01
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
I would have never invited a boyfriend on a family vacation.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 13:00
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
OP, why are you putting DD and her boyfriend above you and your husband? IF you stick with two rooms, it's one for you and DH, and the other for the 4 "kids." Period. You are the one paying, you get the more comfortable option.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 12:57
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Three rooms or you don't bring the boyfriend.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 12:55
Subject: Re:Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for all the good advice. I guess there really isn’t a cut and dry answer. To clarify a few things…
The other kids are college girl and HS boy.
Saying it might not set a good example was poorly worded. I guess I meant that it could make them uncomfortable, especially her little brother. Her sister couldn’t care less.
The boyfriend is extremely outgoing and will happily just roll with whatever setup we decide on. He has spent lots of time with us and our other kids adore him.
We are inviting him because we genuinely think it would be fun to have him there. It was our idea, not theirs.
Our family vacations have always been all 5 of us crammed in a hotel room. Our kids prefer that to vacation rentals because it’s just easier. So having 4 in a room is going to feel spacious to my other kids. Lol.
I had not thought of putting all four “kids” together. I am leaning towards just asking dd what she would be comfortable with.
How on earth is that easier?! One bedroom and bathroom for 5 people? Ugh.
Idk! But every time I’ve asked, they all just want a hotel room. And we go on long vacations almost every summer. At this point, we have a pretty good system worked out with getting ready.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 12:55
Subject: Re:Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for all the good advice. I guess there really isn’t a cut and dry answer. To clarify a few things…
The other kids are college girl and HS boy.
Saying it might not set a good example was poorly worded. I guess I meant that it could make them uncomfortable, especially her little brother. Her sister couldn’t care less.
The boyfriend is extremely outgoing and will happily just roll with whatever setup we decide on. He has spent lots of time with us and our other kids adore him.
We are inviting him because we genuinely think it would be fun to have him there. It was our idea, not theirs.
Our family vacations have always been all 5 of us crammed in a hotel room. Our kids prefer that to vacation rentals because it’s just easier. So having 4 in a room is going to feel spacious to my other kids. Lol.
I had not thought of putting all four “kids” together. I am leaning towards just asking dd what she would be comfortable with.
Well this is some missing context. I was going to be one who suggested 3 rooms as all the other setups are crowded and/or awkward.
We are a family of 3 and always got a bedroom suite with a pull out sofa in the living room, when DS was younger, and now the same or 2 rooms.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 12:54
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:Why do you have to take him? Doesn't your DD understand it's causing stress?
Stop. Op Just said they like having him around.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 12:50
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Why do you have to take him? Doesn't your DD understand it's causing stress?
Anonymous
03/14/2023 12:48
Subject: Re:Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for all the good advice. I guess there really isn’t a cut and dry answer. To clarify a few things…
The other kids are college girl and HS boy.
Saying it might not set a good example was poorly worded. I guess I meant that it could make them uncomfortable, especially her little brother. Her sister couldn’t care less.
The boyfriend is extremely outgoing and will happily just roll with whatever setup we decide on. He has spent lots of time with us and our other kids adore him.
We are inviting him because we genuinely think it would be fun to have him there. It was our idea, not theirs.
Our family vacations have always been all 5 of us crammed in a hotel room. Our kids prefer that to vacation rentals because it’s just easier. So having 4 in a room is going to feel spacious to my other kids. Lol.
I had not thought of putting all four “kids” together. I am leaning towards just asking dd what she would be comfortable with.
How on earth is that easier?! One bedroom and bathroom for 5 people? Ugh.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 12:47
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I didn't have sex until I married at 31 and would have been uncomfortable being forced to share a room by his parents with my boyfriend at 21. At the same time, it's weird to force her to stay with same-sex strangers she likely doesn't know.
A large vacation rental solves this problem (and many others).
No one is making you have sex just by sharing a room. I'm gonna bet you share a room with your husband but don't screw every night.
I wasn't sharing a bed, either. Yes, I would have been uncomfortable doing that at 21. Would have stayed home over it.
Doubt anyone would have missed you.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 12:41
Subject: Re:Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Op here. Thank you for all the good advice. I guess there really isn’t a cut and dry answer. To clarify a few things…
The other kids are college girl and HS boy.
Saying it might not set a good example was poorly worded. I guess I meant that it could make them uncomfortable, especially her little brother. Her sister couldn’t care less.
The boyfriend is extremely outgoing and will happily just roll with whatever setup we decide on. He has spent lots of time with us and our other kids adore him.
We are inviting him because we genuinely think it would be fun to have him there. It was our idea, not theirs.
Our family vacations have always been all 5 of us crammed in a hotel room. Our kids prefer that to vacation rentals because it’s just easier. So having 4 in a room is going to feel spacious to my other kids. Lol.
I had not thought of putting all four “kids” together. I am leaning towards just asking dd what she would be comfortable with.
The other kids are college girl and HS boy.
Saying it might not set a good example was poorly worded. I guess I meant that it could make them uncomfortable, especially her little brother. Her sister couldn’t care less.
The boyfriend is extremely outgoing and will happily just roll with whatever setup we decide on. He has spent lots of time with us and our other kids adore him.
We are inviting him because we genuinely think it would be fun to have him there. It was our idea, not theirs.
Our family vacations have always been all 5 of us crammed in a hotel room. Our kids prefer that to vacation rentals because it’s just easier. So having 4 in a room is going to feel spacious to my other kids. Lol.
I had not thought of putting all four “kids” together. I am leaning towards just asking dd what she would be comfortable with.
Anonymous
03/14/2023 12:38
Subject: Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???
Would it be possible to get a 3 or 4 bedroom Airbnb or private condo instead of hotel rooms?