Anonymous wrote:You already use the term "vacay" in front of them, how much worse could letting them drink be?

Yes

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious -- for those of you who meet OP's stipulations and WOULD allow a kid to have a glass of wine in France, would you NOT allow the same kid to have a glass of wine with dinner at home?

What makes France different?

For my family it’s simply because it’s legal there, and it is not legal here.

Same. And we don't drink at home. Only out or on special occasions. lots of alcoholics in the family.

This doesn't make it legal!

Yes I would allow it.

As you described the situation, yes, completely. Not partying or getting drunk, but enjoying a drink in a mature responsible way.

My crazzzzy strict parents allowed it when I was on vacation at 18. A drink with dinner or by the pool. It was still clear they didn't condone overdoing it, and that there is a time and a place for it.

No. There are multiple generations of alcoholics on one side of the family and a scattered few on the other. As a result I have been in more 12-step meetings than I care to count where the story starts with a first drink at 12, 11 or even younger.

The longer he puts off drinking, the better.

Yes, we allowed it. They are now in their late 20s and no drinking problems at all

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious -- for those of you who meet OP's stipulations and WOULD allow a kid to have a glass of wine in France, would you NOT allow the same kid to have a glass of wine with dinner at home?

What makes France different?

For my family it’s simply because it’s legal there, and it is not legal here.

Same. And we don't drink at home. Only out or on special occasions. lots of alcoholics in the family.

You already use the term "vacay" in front of them, how much worse could letting them drink be?

Not quite your question, but we were in Quebec with my 20-year-old DD over the holidays, and it was great fun to go out to a bar together and have her buy the round for the three of us. None of us are big drinkers, and she’s in college so she can have whatever she wants, but it was a fun moment

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious -- for those of you who meet OP's stipulations and WOULD allow a kid to have a glass of wine in France, would you NOT allow the same kid to have a glass of wine with dinner at home?

What makes France different?

For my family it’s simply because it’s legal there, and it is not legal here.

Why does that matter? It would be 100% a victimless crime.

It matters to me.

Why would it matter to you if it matters to me? Who cares? Lol. I’m just answering the OP and give them my reason. Every family is different with different rules. That’s what I’ve been telling my kids since they were little toddlers.

Because uptight and illogical people fascinate me.

Heavens to betsy no! That is child abuse

We did not. It's not so much about the legality of it but that the research is overwhelming clear that the longer kids delay drinking, the less likely they are to develop alcoholism and the better their life outcomes.

We also rarely drink when we go out. Alcohol isn't cheap and is high calorie. We prefer to spend our money and calories on other things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious -- for those of you who meet OP's stipulations and WOULD allow a kid to have a glass of wine in France, would you NOT allow the same kid to have a glass of wine with dinner at home?

What makes France different?

For my family it’s simply because it’s legal there, and it is not legal here.

Why does that matter? It would be 100% a victimless crime.

Not really. It blurs the line. Your kid thinks the parents condone underage drinking (because they do while at dinner at home). It's naïve to think they will simply follow your rule to drink safely at home and no where else. Or to only drink *one* beer/glass of wine.

We did it with our 18 year old (HS senior) when on vacation where 18 is the legal age to drink. He ordered a drink with dinner 1-2 times and then the appeal wore off. We have two younger kids as well if that matters, and we made a point to acknowledge that oldest was allowed to drink while in that country since it was legal. Although overall our vibe was to not make a big deal out of it at all since that is how we approach our own drinking - low key, occasional, never in excess.