Anonymous wrote:I conducted a funeral for a man who was killed by a 16 year old who did not yet have his license. The man was on a bicycle. The teenager was driving a vehicle.

The amount of generational pain that this has caused for ALL who are related to the man and to the teenager, as well as the life path of this teenager, can not be underestimated.

This. Think about this.

I would delay her license for sure. I would tell her driving is a privilege and a big responsibility. Someone willing to break the law is not responsible enough to drive and so she won’t be getting her license for several months after she is eligible. I’d consider taking away her phone too.

Some people don’t believe in compassion, they are the lock ‘em up and throw away the key people. But they would feel very different if it was their child.

Anyway, nothing bad happened here so the proper focus is on consequences for what actually happened.

She already proved to you that she has no problem driving without insurance, and also driving without a license. She is far too irresponsible to drive a vehicle. You should lock up your keys and not let her touch a vehicle again until she buys one herself.

I conducted a funeral for a man who was killed by a 16 year old who did not yet have his license. The man was on a bicycle. The teenager was driving a vehicle.

The amount of generational pain that this has caused for ALL who are related to the man and to the teenager, as well as the life path of this teenager, can not be underestimated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her drivers licence was delayed til she can afford her own car and insurance.

No discussion.

And I would have had her arrested.

Yes I would have.

So stupid. Bad judgment on the part of a teen. But not something to ruin her life over. Not to mention that it will be really costly for the family to pay for those lawyers and take her to all of those probation appointments.

“Arrested.”

What an asinine, puerile, ignorant proposal.

You have no conception how dangerous any involvement in the criminal Justice system is. People die getting arrested. People die getting “processed.” People freeze to death while being “held.” The slightest perceived resistance is punished with brutal abuse, accompanied by additional criminal charges.

It is a rare, rare day when a parent should be inviting violent people with guns, over whom they have no control, into their family life and siccing them on a child.

Anonymous wrote:Her drivers licence was delayed til she can afford her own car and insurance.

No discussion.

And I would have had her arrested.

Yes I would have.

So stupid. Bad judgment on the part of a teen. But not something to ruin her life over. Not to mention that it will be really costly for the family to pay for those lawyers and take her to all of those probation appointments.

I drove my parents car when I was 14. Never found out. What a weekend. Worth it

Ferris Bueller?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like bad parenting for both the teen taking the car and the parent crowd-sourcing what to do.

It’s ok to ask for advice when faced with a novel situation. Don’t try to shame people who are trying to raise their children well. There’s no objective right or wrong.

The advice is to start with good parenting.

You’re hateful, but you don’t seem to GAF, so whatever.

Pot meet kettle.

I would ground her and delay getting her license but that's it.

So much righteous indignation here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m somewhat ashamed to say that 40 years ago I did this as well. If it’s any consolation, I turned out just fine. I was actually caught because one of our neighbors saw me and reported it back to my dad. As I recall, I was confined to my room for a week. We laugh about it now.

That is not relevant.

DP. It's literally the exact same story...

Literally does not mean what you think it does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like bad parenting for both the teen taking the car and the parent crowd-sourcing what to do.

It’s ok to ask for advice when faced with a novel situation. Don’t try to shame people who are trying to raise their children well. There’s no objective right or wrong.

The advice is to start with good parenting.

You’re hateful, but you don’t seem to GAF, so whatever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m somewhat ashamed to say that 40 years ago I did this as well. If it’s any consolation, I turned out just fine. I was actually caught because one of our neighbors saw me and reported it back to my dad. As I recall, I was confined to my room for a week. We laugh about it now.

That is not relevant.

DP. It's literally the exact same story...

Glad it wasn’t just me. I slept with keys under pillow!