Anonymous
02/10/2023 12:53
Subject: Graduate one year early. What next?
Anonymous wrote:Would I give him some money to travel? Sure. $40k? No. There's something to be said for learning to budget at that age. He can stay in hostels. He doesn't need to stay in fancy hotels.
There's a lot to be said for that. And a lot to be said for having some skin in the game. Make a generous gift, wish him well on his adventure, and let him self-fund a good chunk of it.
Anonymous
02/10/2023 12:47
Subject: Graduate one year early. What next?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He is mature because he knows the next phase will require a whole new batch of energy and dedication. He feels the need to refuel, after years of going pouring himself into being an excellent student.
He realizes he is only young once, and there is valuable learning in making your way through novel situations. In seeing the world.
He has a plan for getting back into the rat race but has surely earned a break from it.
He will never regret spending a year in his early 20's traveling. Especially since his family has a pile of money that is not really needed, for anything that is critical.
He sounds so much more interesting and healthy than many of the adults who post to this site.
OP's son has never been in the rat race. And his plan is to hide from the rat race by going to school for an unnecessary masters degree. And the family's pile of money may be from the parents' retirement account.
He has been on the academic treadmill that leads to the rat race. On the 19 year old equivalent.
Someone who graduates a year early from a demanding school with excellent grades has not been coasting. Have some respect for a young adult’s reality. There is a reason for their high suicide rates.
Anonymous
02/10/2023 12:46
Subject: Graduate one year early. What next?
Sure, he can travel, but I wouldn’t fund it. Tell him you will drop him off at the airport to avoid the taxi cost. He sounds very entitled and comparing his 3 years to his sibling’s 5 years makes him a bean counter. Does a parent calculate and compare the money spent on travel sports, guitar lessons, tutors or insurance co pays? Nope and this smart ass doesn’t get to spend your money.
Anonymous
02/10/2023 12:46
Subject: Graduate one year early. What next?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He is mature because he knows the next phase will require a whole new batch of energy and dedication. He feels the need to refuel, after years of going pouring himself into being an excellent student.
He realizes he is only young once, and there is valuable learning in making your way through novel situations. In seeing the world.
He has a plan for getting back into the rat race but has surely earned a break from it.
He will never regret spending a year in his early 20's traveling. Especially since his family has a pile of money that is not really needed, for anything that is critical.
He sounds so much more interesting and healthy than many of the adults who post to this site.
OP's son has never been in the rat race. And his plan is to hide from the rat race by going to school for an unnecessary masters degree. And the family's pile of money may be from the parents' retirement account.
You can debate the pros and cons of going into acadamia (which OP stated as reason kid wants to pursue grad degrees), but obviously a Masters and PhD are required for that route.
Anonymous
02/10/2023 12:43
Subject: Re:Graduate one year early. What next?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Lots of tech layoffs ongoing.
The first to be hired back will be those with relevant work experience.
In my view, your son is running from the real world by travelling & hiding out in unnecessary grad school programs.
+100
Please stop the "lot of tech layoff nonsense". Technical people do get layoff but they are able to get other jobs immediately, on top of the severance they received from the previous employer. Instead of getting a 200K salary offer, they get a 150K salary offer. It is not as bad as you think. My employer is still hiring software engineers, a bit less than MAANG salaries.
LOL! You may not be aware of the current situation in tech. Plus, those finding jobs already have relevant work experience.
The layoffs are so prevalent that several MBA program sare waiving admissions requirements for unemployed, laid-off tech workers.
LOL to you! MBA programs are waiving admissions requirements because applications to even HBS, Wharton etc. have dropped off a cliff...like 40% - 50% reduction in applications compared to 3 or 4 years ago, and they are trying to entice these tech kids to panic and sign up for the MBA program and get their tuition $$$s.
Just because more of the pure-play tech companies are laying people off, doesn't meant that a bunch of Fortune 500 companies like UnitedHealth, Walmart et al aren't hiring tons of people in their IT groups. Also...there is always a bull market in tech somewhere, and right now all the AI companies are hiring anyone with a heartbeat with AI skills.
LOL right back at you.
I think that there is an important point that you fail to recognize: Laid off tech workers getting lower paying jobs have relevant work experience; OP's son has no work experience.
It sounds like you are regurgitating news headlines, and you absolutely have no idea about the tech hiring landscape.
Anonymous
02/10/2023 12:29
Subject: Graduate one year early. What next?
Anonymous wrote:He is mature because he knows the next phase will require a whole new batch of energy and dedication. He feels the need to refuel, after years of going pouring himself into being an excellent student.
He realizes he is only young once, and there is valuable learning in making your way through novel situations. In seeing the world.
He has a plan for getting back into the rat race but has surely earned a break from it.
He will never regret spending a year in his early 20's traveling. Especially since his family has a pile of money that is not really needed, for anything that is critical.
He sounds so much more interesting and healthy than many of the adults who post to this site.
OP's son has never been in the rat race. And his plan is to hide from the rat race by going to school for an unnecessary masters degree. And the family's pile of money may be from the parents' retirement account.
Anonymous
02/10/2023 12:27
Subject: Graduate one year early. What next?
Anonymous wrote:He is mature because he knows the next phase will require a whole new batch of energy and dedication. He feels the need to refuel, after years of going pouring himself into being an excellent student.
He realizes he is only young once, and there is valuable learning in making your way through novel situations. In seeing the world.
He has a plan for getting back into the rat race but has surely earned a break from it.
He will never regret spending a year in his early 20's traveling. Especially since his family has a pile of money that is not really needed, for anything that is critical.
He sounds so much more interesting and healthy than many of the adults who post to this site.
I agree. If I could go back in time, I would have spent more time traveling, it is an excellent learning experience. That said, he doesn't need $42k. Give him less than that - make him budget and give you more concrete numbers. He can always work over the summer or as he travels to make some money.
Anonymous
02/10/2023 12:27
Subject: Graduate one year early. What next?
Would I give him some money to travel? Sure. $40k? No. There's something to be said for learning to budget at that age. He can stay in hostels. He doesn't need to stay in fancy hotels.
Anonymous
02/10/2023 12:19
Subject: Graduate one year early. What next?
Anonymous wrote:Graduating early isn't a universally great idea for people with money, you can add a useful or interesting minor and grow as a person and as a resume.
Right? If money is not an issue, why rush through this unique time in a young person's life?
Being relatively carefree rather than stressed is not bad thing, you know.
Anonymous
02/10/2023 12:15
Subject: Graduate one year early. What next?
While I don’t like the entitlement, you only live once and it’s hard to get vacation time in your 20s. IF you have the money, what about $10K for 6 months? 12 months only if he does something worthwhile for others. If you’re feeling generous, you could also promise to reimburse him for his first two years of Roth IRAs once he’s working.
Anonymous
02/10/2023 12:11
Subject: Graduate one year early. What next?
Graduating early isn't a universally great idea for people with money, you can add a useful or interesting minor and grow as a person and as a resume.
Anonymous
02/10/2023 12:10
Subject: Graduate one year early. What next?
He is mature because he knows the next phase will require a whole new batch of energy and dedication. He feels the need to refuel, after years of going pouring himself into being an excellent student.
He realizes he is only young once, and there is valuable learning in making your way through novel situations. In seeing the world.
He has a plan for getting back into the rat race but has surely earned a break from it.
He will never regret spending a year in his early 20's traveling. Especially since his family has a pile of money that is not really needed, for anything that is critical.
He sounds so much more interesting and healthy than many of the adults who post to this site.
He realizes he is only young once, and there is valuable learning in making your way through novel situations. In seeing the world.
He has a plan for getting back into the rat race but has surely earned a break from it.
He will never regret spending a year in his early 20's traveling. Especially since his family has a pile of money that is not really needed, for anything that is critical.
He sounds so much more interesting and healthy than many of the adults who post to this site.
Anonymous
02/10/2023 12:02
Subject: Re:Graduate one year early. What next?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. There is a little bit more to the story. My oldest DS took almost 5 1/2 years to graduate from UVA because he changed majors several times. It took the younger one three years to graduate so according to him, he saved us 2 1/2 years in tuition/room/board/etc.. He feels that he should not be penalized for graduating early and that he should be awarded with the 42K. He turned down offers from Apple and Lockheed because he wants to go back to school for his MS and PhD program with the intention of going into academia. He purposely wanted to graduate early because he wants to see the world before heading back into the grind of academics. He will travel with three other "trusted" people so he will be OK. DH is against giving him that 42K for traveling purposes and right now, they are not talking to one another because of this.
He actually sounds mature and wise to me.
Negotiate. Perhaps you are the mediator between him and your husband.
I can see your son's point, that being the disciplined child should not be "rewarded" with more, beginning sooner.
Let him relax, and explore before the next phase.
Life is long, and for most adults, full of responsibility. As the years pile on, it freedom and discovery feel like fading possibilities.
Let him have this. Though, I think some scaling back is in order. Perhaps give him a big chunk of it, with one of many books that are out there about earning money as your travel around the world (so the limits of his adventure would, in part, be dictated by his decisions/efforts).
Congrats on having such a responsible child. You and your husband might reflect on this happy situation. Other families are wondering where they will come up with the money to pay for rehab.
So maturity is bumming money from one's parents to facilitate bumming around the world for a year ?
OP's son is in a rapidly changing and evolving field with no relevant work experience. In my view, a mature version of OP's son would have accepted a glorified entrance into the real world to earn money to pay for whatever he wants.
Anonymous
02/10/2023 11:58
Subject: Re:Graduate one year early. What next?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Lots of tech layoffs ongoing.
The first to be hired back will be those with relevant work experience.
In my view, your son is running from the real world by travelling & hiding out in unnecessary grad school programs.
+100
Please stop the "lot of tech layoff nonsense". Technical people do get layoff but they are able to get other jobs immediately, on top of the severance they received from the previous employer. Instead of getting a 200K salary offer, they get a 150K salary offer. It is not as bad as you think. My employer is still hiring software engineers, a bit less than MAANG salaries.
LOL! You may not be aware of the current situation in tech. Plus, those finding jobs already have relevant work experience.
The layoffs are so prevalent that several MBA program sare waiving admissions requirements for unemployed, laid-off tech workers.
LOL to you! MBA programs are waiving admissions requirements because applications to even HBS, Wharton etc. have dropped off a cliff...like 40% - 50% reduction in applications compared to 3 or 4 years ago, and they are trying to entice these tech kids to panic and sign up for the MBA program and get their tuition $$$s.
Just because more of the pure-play tech companies are laying people off, doesn't meant that a bunch of Fortune 500 companies like UnitedHealth, Walmart et al aren't hiring tons of people in their IT groups. Also...there is always a bull market in tech somewhere, and right now all the AI companies are hiring anyone with a heartbeat with AI skills.
LOL right back at you.
I think that there is an important point that you fail to recognize: Laid off tech workers getting lower paying jobs have relevant work experience; OP's son has no work experience.
Anonymous
02/10/2023 11:42
Subject: Graduate one year early. What next?
i think this is a bad idea. his best opportunity to get a job in tech and a graduating senior is through the school job fairs.
were you privy to his decision to turn down job offers? that was a mistake, too.
my two kids cost us vastly different amounts to go to school. we didn't give the one who cost us less the "extra money," and she definitely wouldn't have had the balls to tell us she deserved it!
were you privy to his decision to turn down job offers? that was a mistake, too.
my two kids cost us vastly different amounts to go to school. we didn't give the one who cost us less the "extra money," and she definitely wouldn't have had the balls to tell us she deserved it!