Anonymous wrote:This thread overlooks all the people who only “launched” because of massive parental support: no educational debt, funded apartment in the city after college, job connections through family & friends from private, weddings paid for, downpayments gifted, college funds & private tuition filled by parents and no need to worry about saving for retirement.

I don't know anyone so rich they don't have to worry about saving for retirement

This thread overlooks all the people who only “launched” because of massive parental support: no educational debt, funded apartment in the city after college, job connections through family & friends from private, weddings paid for, downpayments gifted, college funds & private tuition filled by parents and no need to worry about saving for retirement.

Anonymous wrote:I see this discussed a lot on here. Is there like one in every family, or is it only a disfavored few in society? Does it happen more to men than women these days?

In my family it correlated with undiagnosed and untreated mental illness (my mother’s siblings and cousins, offspring of a generation where you didn’t talk about such things).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you consider a "failure to launch"?

A 25 year old who lives with his parents and hasn't worked or done any schooling since graduating high school?

A 45 year old who isn't a coupled homeowner in a career job?

is the 45 year old living at home and/or working a job?

Yes.

Living with your parents for decades and decades, barring a terrible situation where yours also their caretaker, is indeed bad for your social life, dating life, and functioning independently. Living at home with your parents as an adult is for emergency situations or medium term getting back in your feet things (health scare, divorce, bankruptcy). Not long term over 1-2+++ years.

Anonymous wrote:I do think American norms that everyone has to have a paying job (ie, “launch”) is unhealthy. Who then has time to cook, take care of family, house, etc. which is we rely on plastic disposable packages, processed foods, outsource childcare, too many unruly students who are poor at reading and math.

You mean like the mom staying home to prop up the Failure To Launch adult kid for 40+ years? Btdt

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you consider a "failure to launch"?

A 25 year old who lives with his parents and hasn't worked or done any schooling since graduating high school?

A 45 year old who isn't a coupled homeowner in a career job?

is the 45 year old living at home and/or working a job?

I would say FTL: 40 something living with parents, doesn't contribute to household at all ($, chores, driving elderly parents, feeding cat when they're out of town), freelancer, has never made enough to live independently, cannot maintain long-term romantic or platonic relationships, possible mental health and physical health issues.

Agree

Anonymous wrote:Yep we have a female cousin in her 50’s who has been on the payroll of her family’s business (father used to run it, then her 2 brothers) since college but has never actually worked there or anywhere else. I think they pay her has a “board member” or some crap. She loves the good life with her weird husband who also doesn’t work. She posts out of touch stuff on Facebook. Her brother continue to pay her even though they definitely don’t respect her.

Wealthy people don't need to work. Unfair but true.

Anonymous wrote:I do think American norms that everyone has to have a paying job (ie, “launch”) is unhealthy. Who then has time to cook, take care of family, house, etc. which is we rely on plastic disposable packages, processed foods, outsource childcare, too many unruly students who are poor at reading and math.

I agree that there is a level of misogyny in the US that doesn't value women work (childcare, cooking, cleaning, etc.) unless there is a paycheck attached to the work. So if a person is a chef for a paying job it's valued but cooking healthy meals for family is not valued - stay at home parents are viewed as worthless and lazy. It's really rooted in misogyny and bad for children who lack good home cooking and care.

All of the ones I know are men, some elderly now. They all likely had undiagnosed mental or emotional issues. They all never had steady female relationships, even though some were attractive. They just couldn't hold down a job, a relationship and also most had drinking or drug problems. Each one had at least one relative that would help them out or allow them to live with them. Otherwise, they may have been homeless or in jail.

Anonymous wrote:I do think American norms that everyone has to have a paying job (ie, “launch”) is unhealthy. Who then has time to cook, take care of family, house, etc. which is we rely on plastic disposable packages, processed foods, outsource childcare, too many unruly students who are poor at reading and math.

I think most of us would agree that the ability to be self-supporting is a key element of having launched, and most of us can make ourselves dinner after working a full day.

I do think American norms that everyone has to have a paying job (ie, “launch”) is unhealthy. Who then has time to cook, take care of family, house, etc. which is we rely on plastic disposable packages, processed foods, outsource childcare, too many unruly students who are poor at reading and math.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you consider a "failure to launch"?

A 25 year old who lives with his parents and hasn't worked or done any schooling since graduating high school?

A 45 year old who isn't a coupled homeowner in a career job?

is the 45 year old living at home and/or working a job?

I would say FTL: 40 something living with parents, doesn't contribute to household at all ($, chores, driving elderly parents, feeding cat when they're out of town), freelancer, has never made enough to live independently, cannot maintain long-term romantic or platonic relationships, possible mental health and physical health issues.

Failure to launch = someone with a college degree from a respectable college but who still lives home with parents without a job and sits around all day doing nothing.

If you're self supporting, or even only "largely" self supporting and living on your own, you have launched, even if you aren't "successful." I've always associated failure to launch with young and increasingly middle aged adults who stayed home and don't have proper jobs nor make efforts to build a life of their own.

No idea how common it is. My dad has a brother that falls in this category. Childhood illness where he was quarantined literally in a cage and was never quite right after.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you consider a "failure to launch"?

A 25 year old who lives with his parents and hasn't worked or done any schooling since graduating high school?

A 45 year old who isn't a coupled homeowner in a career job?

is the 45 year old living at home and/or working a job?

Pp said they were in a career job.

I meant NOT a coupled homeowner in a career job. So like 45 year old who works, but not really in a stable or well paid career, rents an apartment, and doesn't have a romantic partner or kids.

they are independent? Then they are launched.