After my dad died while the pandemic was raging, my failure-to-launch brother had my mother hire a new lawyer and amend my parents' trust to disown me and my sister. We found out the day after my mom died. He claims she wanted it. I thought we were close. Never underestimate what people will do to get money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did she do to get mom to give her all the money? I could see why he wanted nothing to do with her.

This! They weren’t estranged by accident. Your friend is very likely a thief, and the brother died a death of despair. She practically killed him.

Not OP. Literally LOL'd at this. You guys have no idea what happened. Maybe he's an addict. Maybe he committed sexual abuse. It takes a lot for a mother to disown her son.

Not if the sibling exerted undue influence on the parent to do it so they could inherit everything. Happens all the time.

The most interesting thing about this post is that your friend inherited $4m and still works. Unless her job is very fulfilling, that alone makes me question her life choices.

I hate my brother and would never attend his funeral. He’s already dead to me. Mind your own business!!!

My aunt did not attend my moms funeral. My mom told her her sister she had cancer and her sister called BS. Guess what my mom died from?

She didn’t show up and I haven’t spoken to her or my cousins in 30 yrs. Up until the day she didn’t show up, I had no ill will towards her. I have no idea what happened between my mom and her other than she didn’t believe my mom about her dx.

If attendance would be meaningful to parents then absolutely. My non estranged sister died when I was in my late 30s and no parent expects a child to die before they do.

You were estranged from her in life, why should her funeral be any different? MYOB.

No

I don't know, would be virtually impossible to even guess without knowing the details of the estrangement which are none of your business.

What I do know is that I can fully understand people who estrange completely from their family and never look back. I'm not that person but I easily could be, and I know that if I became estranged from my mother many people would be shocked and horrified and think I was horrible and they would think that having no idea the type of behavior I have endured my entire life. So I do not judge people who make these decisions, honestly I feel proud of them because its a brave and difficult thing to accomplish a separation from family that hurt you.

Soooooo none of your business OP.

OP, my brother is verbally abusive toward me (screamed that I needed to call him "sir" last time we talked 7 years ago...I am 48 and 3 years older than him). I was the final straw in years of his narcissism and verbal abuse, but yeah. Not going to his funeral. You have no idea what their relationship is like.

No

Who knows what kind of drama or fights that would cause.

Op you sound young and naive and overly sheltered from real life.

No

I have an uncle who estranged himself from everyone.
His siblings and even his own kids did not attend his funeral. He fourth wife was there but knew none of them anyhow. He was full of $hit and lies his whole life.

My sister and I are estranged from our parents, but we still occasionally hear bits of news from friends. Our mother was in an accident and it sparked the discussion of whether we’d go to their funerals or deathbed visits. I said absolutely not, and she said probably not. I already mourned the loss of my parents years ago, so I don’t need a funeral for closure. I’d go crazy listening to ally the lies about what good people they are. My sister hasn’t fully gotten closure. Occasionally she’ll reach out and try to keep the door open but they keep slamming it in her face. I think she might go visit if one of them were dying and asked for her or if one died and the survivor asked for her, but I know in my heart she’d regret it. I think the closest I’d consider would be visiting my sister to support her, but not go with her to anything with/for our parents.

Maybe. On the one hand, it would bring me closure. On the other, I would not go if my presence would possibly be distressing in any way to others likely to attend the funeral service.