People are conflating "kid-friendly" foods with foods that are marketed and targeted at kids (or at parents who want to feed kids with minimal effort).

Serving rice and beans that are more mildly flavored to kids while the adults eat a spicier food with more components is not the same as just heating up some frozen nuggets or, oh my god, giving them a luncheable.

Yes, some kids are adventurous eaters and enjoy spicy foods. I know there are people who think these kids are made, not born, and to some degree that might be true. But I've also encountered families where one kid is adventurous and another is quite picky, and while no child has an identical experience as their sibling, I find it hard to believe that their parent's approach to food was so fundamentally different as to be the cause for this. There have also been studies that show pickiness in kids has a genetic component even when you control for things like what foods the child is offered. So while you may have kids who will eat anything you serve them, someone else might not, and that person still wants to serve their child a nutritious, well-rounded diet.

Thus: you can serve your kid healthy, kid-friendly foods. For a picky eater, this will often mean offering fewer combined foods (deconstructed everything), leaning more on fruits and legumes than vegetables (the cliche about kids not eating their vegetables is cliche for a reason), doing healthy versions of pancakes and muffins that have vegetables and fiber in them, etc. This doesn't mean just giving up and feeding your kid whatever they want, being a short-order cook, or feeding them unhealthy processed foods. It means accepting that your child is not going to eat certain things and making sure there are healthy alternatives they will eat available.

I also just question anyone who says things like "my kids eat what I eat" or "I don't give them the option" because I've had a kid who would happily go on a hunger strike to avoid eating foods that trigger her disgust impulses (which, for a time, included like 95% of all foods). I don't actually think you would starve a child like that rather than just going ahead and feeding the child something she will eat, especially if it's a healthy option. I think you just got fortunate in not having a child who'd rather go hungry than eat what you have served.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s cultural. My husband and I come from different cultures, both without kids menus or special kids meals. Our kids eat everything and have since they were babies. Seafood, liver, kale, mushrooms, spicy food — they eat everything and will try anything. The key for us was 1) always serve a variety so they don’t get used to any one thing in those “picky” phases and 2) don’t give in to demands. When our oldest was one they would wail for pancakes sometimes. Nope. You eat what everyone eats. Eventually when they learned that after a week or so it never happened again. We also always served vegetables first and limited snacks.

Everywhere I’ve been, all over the globe, has “kid foods.” Japan, India, Germany, Colombia, Peru. Never have I seen anywhere a culture that doesn’t include a regular reliance on “kid friendly” options separate from more intense and spicy adult foods. Those foods might look a little different than our American stand-bys, but of course they exist. Everywhere.

There are no “kid foods” in Spain. I lived there for years and can attest to this.

https://spanishsabores.com/what-do-kids-eat-in-spain/

https://familylifeinspain.com/2014/05/spanish-food-for-children/

You think you’re disproving my point but your links actually support it. Yes, kid foods in other countries like Spain don’t look the same as in the US and the UK like rice with tomato sauce. And just like the US, kids often do eat what the adults are eating. But yes, parents include kid friendly foods separate from adult oriented foods when they have young kids. Just like literally the whole globe.

The links do not support your point. There are no equivalents to chicken nuggets and lunchables in Spain and people do not include “kid friendly food” separate from other food. Kids eat what adults eat.. That’s the point.

But I never said there’s an equivalent to chicken nuggets and Lunchables. In fact, what I said was, kid friendly options look different than ours. But every culture has kid friendly options that they serve to kids. They don’t just demand their kids eat full-spice kimchi. Like a PP above explains, parents rinse it to make it kid friendly.

That doesn't mean kids of all ages are expected to eat it instead of regular food. Again, there is breast milk in every culture, too.

Hoo boy you sure do love to move goalposts around, don’t you? I don’t recall OP saying people should offer a separate course of kid adjusted foods until the kids enter high school.

DH was raised in a south Asian culture and I was raised in Japanese culture. We raise our kids as is typical in those cultures—offering what we eat, without as much spice, while also making sure fairly bland carbs and proteins are on offer, along with lovely fresh fruits and vegetables. This is also what OP is saying, and what I see most Americans doing. Makes sense. Kids all over the world are the same. They don’t want a mouthful of wasabi and are slow to warm up to certain adult foods, while loving rice, bread, and things like chicken with teriyaki sauce (or ketchup).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s cultural. My husband and I come from different cultures, both without kids menus or special kids meals. Our kids eat everything and have since they were babies. Seafood, liver, kale, mushrooms, spicy food — they eat everything and will try anything. The key for us was 1) always serve a variety so they don’t get used to any one thing in those “picky” phases and 2) don’t give in to demands. When our oldest was one they would wail for pancakes sometimes. Nope. You eat what everyone eats. Eventually when they learned that after a week or so it never happened again. We also always served vegetables first and limited snacks.

Everywhere I’ve been, all over the globe, has “kid foods.” Japan, India, Germany, Colombia, Peru. Never have I seen anywhere a culture that doesn’t include a regular reliance on “kid friendly” options separate from more intense and spicy adult foods. Those foods might look a little different than our American stand-bys, but of course they exist. Everywhere.

There are no “kid foods” in Spain. I lived there for years and can attest to this.

https://spanishsabores.com/what-do-kids-eat-in-spain/

https://familylifeinspain.com/2014/05/spanish-food-for-children/

Here are “9 recipes with cheese for kids” from a parenting website based in Salamanca, Spain.

https://eresmama.com/5-recetas-con-queso-para-ninos/

Anonymous wrote:This obsession with kids having an adventurous palate is one of the most ridiculous things. It really doesn’t matter.

It also doesn't matter that some kids do. They aren't having adventurous palates at you, or at your kids. It's not a criticism of you.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s cultural. My husband and I come from different cultures, both without kids menus or special kids meals. Our kids eat everything and have since they were babies. Seafood, liver, kale, mushrooms, spicy food — they eat everything and will try anything. The key for us was 1) always serve a variety so they don’t get used to any one thing in those “picky” phases and 2) don’t give in to demands. When our oldest was one they would wail for pancakes sometimes. Nope. You eat what everyone eats. Eventually when they learned that after a week or so it never happened again. We also always served vegetables first and limited snacks.

Everywhere I’ve been, all over the globe, has “kid foods.” Japan, India, Germany, Colombia, Peru. Never have I seen anywhere a culture that doesn’t include a regular reliance on “kid friendly” options separate from more intense and spicy adult foods. Those foods might look a little different than our American stand-bys, but of course they exist. Everywhere.

There are no “kid foods” in Spain. I lived there for years and can attest to this.

https://spanishsabores.com/what-do-kids-eat-in-spain/

https://familylifeinspain.com/2014/05/spanish-food-for-children/

You think you’re disproving my point but your links actually support it. Yes, kid foods in other countries like Spain don’t look the same as in the US and the UK like rice with tomato sauce. And just like the US, kids often do eat what the adults are eating. But yes, parents include kid friendly foods separate from adult oriented foods when they have young kids. Just like literally the whole globe.

The links do not support your point. There are no equivalents to chicken nuggets and lunchables in Spain and people do not include “kid friendly food” separate from other food. Kids eat what adults eat.. That’s the point.

But I never said there’s an equivalent to chicken nuggets and Lunchables. In fact, what I said was, kid friendly options look different than ours. But every culture has kid friendly options that they serve to kids. They don’t just demand their kids eat full-spice kimchi. Like a PP above explains, parents rinse it to make it kid friendly.

That doesn't mean kids of all ages are expected to eat it instead of regular food. Again, there is breast milk in every culture, too.

This obsession with kids having an adventurous palate is one of the most ridiculous things. It really doesn’t matter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s cultural. My husband and I come from different cultures, both without kids menus or special kids meals. Our kids eat everything and have since they were babies. Seafood, liver, kale, mushrooms, spicy food — they eat everything and will try anything. The key for us was 1) always serve a variety so they don’t get used to any one thing in those “picky” phases and 2) don’t give in to demands. When our oldest was one they would wail for pancakes sometimes. Nope. You eat what everyone eats. Eventually when they learned that after a week or so it never happened again. We also always served vegetables first and limited snacks.

Everywhere I’ve been, all over the globe, has “kid foods.” Japan, India, Germany, Colombia, Peru. Never have I seen anywhere a culture that doesn’t include a regular reliance on “kid friendly” options separate from more intense and spicy adult foods. Those foods might look a little different than our American stand-bys, but of course they exist. Everywhere.

There are no “kid foods” in Spain. I lived there for years and can attest to this.

https://spanishsabores.com/what-do-kids-eat-in-spain/

https://familylifeinspain.com/2014/05/spanish-food-for-children/

You think you’re disproving my point but your links actually support it. Yes, kid foods in other countries like Spain don’t look the same as in the US and the UK like rice with tomato sauce. And just like the US, kids often do eat what the adults are eating. But yes, parents include kid friendly foods separate from adult oriented foods when they have young kids. Just like literally the whole globe.

The links do not support your point. There are no equivalents to chicken nuggets and lunchables in Spain and people do not include “kid friendly food” separate from other food. Kids eat what adults eat.. That’s the point.

But I never said there’s an equivalent to chicken nuggets and Lunchables. In fact, what I said was, kid friendly options look different than ours. But every culture has kid friendly options that they serve to kids. They don’t just demand their kids eat full-spice kimchi. Like a PP above explains, parents rinse it to make it kid friendly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know adults who grew up in with this food philosophy. They still eat chicken nuggets and order caterpillar rolls at sushi restaurants. Do what you like, OP, but many kids appreciate strong flavors and relish them. Tonight, my 8 and 11 year ate a chicken and tofu curry - sort of thai/Cambodian style, and papaya salad. We are Korean and I love spicy food, but my kids are next level when it comes to their love of spice. They’re normal kids who like trying new foods - most of the time they try something at a restaurant, love it, and then I make my own version at home. It’s fun for me too- I get to try my hand at Indian, middle eastern, Thai, Indonesian, Peruvian. Bland food is boring!

You were feeding your toddlers restaurant food and spicy food regularly? You sound terrible

My kids are 8 and 11, not toddlers. But yes, we have been taking our kids to restaurants since they were infants. If you don’t often take your kids to restaurants, I would highly recommend it. If you have a picky eater, you might be surprised how more willing they are to try a food in a restaurant setting. We took my 8 year old’s friend out to sushi, and he tried and enjoyed several types of nigiri. His mom could not believe that he tried it since he is a notorious picky eater who never eats fish.

Can you believe that kids in Korea start eating kimchi, the national dish, before the age of one? We didn’t introduce it until my kids were toddlers, but it’s common in Korea for parents to “wash” the kimchi in cold water to make it more mild. I’m sure you don’t mean to say that my culture is terrible!

NP My 4 year old puts Frank's red hot or Chipotle Tabasco sauce on most things. Not a lot, but yeah. He loves it. DH and I both do similar (We're white). I'm not sure how that's terrible. My other kids aren't fans of spicy things, but now do like mild sauce.

I feel very very strongly about the opposite. You do you. I still remember the party where I had tons of food and my friend's kids said "oh we don't eat chicken." It was grilled chicken, plus I had shrimp and steaks too which I didn't think they'd want. I had to run out and get them hot dogs. I dumbly thought all kids ate chicken. Aren't chicken nuggets like a kid staple?

My kids have to eat one bite of everything on their plates and then all of the vegetables.

There is breast milk in every culture, too. Doesn't mean it's common in all cultures for four year olds to be partaking of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s cultural. My husband and I come from different cultures, both without kids menus or special kids meals. Our kids eat everything and have since they were babies. Seafood, liver, kale, mushrooms, spicy food — they eat everything and will try anything. The key for us was 1) always serve a variety so they don’t get used to any one thing in those “picky” phases and 2) don’t give in to demands. When our oldest was one they would wail for pancakes sometimes. Nope. You eat what everyone eats. Eventually when they learned that after a week or so it never happened again. We also always served vegetables first and limited snacks.

Everywhere I’ve been, all over the globe, has “kid foods.” Japan, India, Germany, Colombia, Peru. Never have I seen anywhere a culture that doesn’t include a regular reliance on “kid friendly” options separate from more intense and spicy adult foods. Those foods might look a little different than our American stand-bys, but of course they exist. Everywhere.

There are no “kid foods” in Spain. I lived there for years and can attest to this.

https://spanishsabores.com/what-do-kids-eat-in-spain/

https://familylifeinspain.com/2014/05/spanish-food-for-children/

You think you’re disproving my point but your links actually support it. Yes, kid foods in other countries like Spain don’t look the same as in the US and the UK like rice with tomato sauce. And just like the US, kids often do eat what the adults are eating. But yes, parents include kid friendly foods separate from adult oriented foods when they have young kids. Just like literally the whole globe.

The links do not support your point. There are no equivalents to chicken nuggets and lunchables in Spain and people do not include “kid friendly food” separate from other food. Kids eat what adults eat.. That’s the point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s cultural. My husband and I come from different cultures, both without kids menus or special kids meals. Our kids eat everything and have since they were babies. Seafood, liver, kale, mushrooms, spicy food — they eat everything and will try anything. The key for us was 1) always serve a variety so they don’t get used to any one thing in those “picky” phases and 2) don’t give in to demands. When our oldest was one they would wail for pancakes sometimes. Nope. You eat what everyone eats. Eventually when they learned that after a week or so it never happened again. We also always served vegetables first and limited snacks.

Everywhere I’ve been, all over the globe, has “kid foods.” Japan, India, Germany, Colombia, Peru. Never have I seen anywhere a culture that doesn’t include a regular reliance on “kid friendly” options separate from more intense and spicy adult foods. Those foods might look a little different than our American stand-bys, but of course they exist. Everywhere.

This makes perfect sense. I live in an area with tons of families from many different cultures. There just seems to be a percentage of kids (not including kids in need) from every culture who are picky (10-20% if I had to guess), and restaurants cater to these families with very cheap, kid-friendly options. Thoughtful hosts also make sure to have appealing options for all their guests.

My kids ate what we ate with the exception of steak, I told them steak is only for adults and that's why they were served hot dogs. They liked hot dogs so they didn't protest, well, until they were adults and then one of them got a little indignant that I lied to her about steak. Turns out she loves steak and still holds it against me that she had to wait so long to find that out.

Anonymous wrote:Oh FFS. What do you think kids eat all over the world, and have done for thousands of years? They eat the cuisine of their culture, spicy though it may be.

Sorry your kids are picky, OP, but don't pretend all children are like this. And don't pretend your choice to cater to them isn't part of why your kids are picky.

In fairness, most Americans eat food from a range of cultures, and their food runs the gamut from bland to spicy. Kids from cultures where most dishes are spicy are exposed to a lot more spice than the American kids who are eating things like scrambled eggs, pancakes, oatmeal, macaroni and cheese, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, mashed potatoes, etc., even more often than they’re eating wasabi or jalapeños or hot curries.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know adults who grew up in with this food philosophy. They still eat chicken nuggets and order caterpillar rolls at sushi restaurants. Do what you like, OP, but many kids appreciate strong flavors and relish them. Tonight, my 8 and 11 year ate a chicken and tofu curry - sort of thai/Cambodian style, and papaya salad. We are Korean and I love spicy food, but my kids are next level when it comes to their love of spice. They’re normal kids who like trying new foods - most of the time they try something at a restaurant, love it, and then I make my own version at home. It’s fun for me too- I get to try my hand at Indian, middle eastern, Thai, Indonesian, Peruvian. Bland food is boring!

You were feeding your toddlers restaurant food and spicy food regularly? You sound terrible

My kids are 8 and 11, not toddlers. But yes, we have been taking our kids to restaurants since they were infants. If you don’t often take your kids to restaurants, I would highly recommend it. If you have a picky eater, you might be surprised how more willing they are to try a food in a restaurant setting. We took my 8 year old’s friend out to sushi, and he tried and enjoyed several types of nigiri. His mom could not believe that he tried it since he is a notorious picky eater who never eats fish.

Can you believe that kids in Korea start eating kimchi, the national dish, before the age of one? We didn’t introduce it until my kids were toddlers, but it’s common in Korea for parents to “wash” the kimchi in cold water to make it more mild. I’m sure you don’t mean to say that my culture is terrible!