My parents have already downsized and it was filled with emotion and disappointment. The three of us, the adult kids, didn’t want anything. They ended up bringing boxes of things to our house anyway. Two of us ended up throwing most of it out.

As for my mothers fine jewelry, it makes me sad. She has a lot and will want to split it between me and my sister someday. I won’t want any. Maybe my sister will want some but she’s also has minimalist tendencies. We both have teen daughters so at least one may appreciate it when the day comes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think if one person wants a particular item, it should be given to them if possible. I don't think it's fair or a good idea to divide things based on gender. It really shouldn't matter. My sister wants a ring of my dad's for sentimental reasons. She's never going to wear it. My dad has a dream of passing it on to the oldest grandson, which is my son. My son has no interest, and has already decided that if he does receive it someday, he wants to give it to my sister if she still wants it, because he knows he's only getting it because of gender.

x100000

My daughter wanted (specifically) a wedding or engagement ring of MIL's - but she gave it to favorite daughter's son's fiance (if you can even follow that) - ie: someone who will be marrying in - just out of spite. Guess what MIL's legacy as a "grandmother" to her actual grandchildren will be?!

That is messed up.

She gave her ring to her grandson to propose with? What's messed up about that? It's still in the family, no?

Maybe she did it out of spite and is evil. But just chiming in to say that what she did is pretty classic, giving her grandson a ring to propose with? That’s what my grandma did, offered my brother her engagement ring to propose with. I love the ring and would have liked to have it, but my DH offered me his mother’s engagement ring. I don’t see how it would have been fair for me to get the other engagement ring and wear it as a « regular » ring.

It is fair if you are not asking for everything. It is not fair if you were not given the one thing you asked for. This is especially true if it has to do with spite or favoritism.

But, some people were born evil/spiteful/with a chip on their shoulder - and the same people die the very same way, and leave that legacy. It is up to them.