Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:25     Subject: Re:Staying fit for spouse
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I workout for myself. Period. I grew up playing travel soccer very competitively, high school soccer and track, etc. I was always used to training. In my 20s/early 30s I ran many marathons, did Spin classes and prior to that every exercise fad--step aerobics, Jane Fonda in the 80s, etc. I love the feeling of exercise and so need it for my mental health.

Exercise to me is like brushing your teeth. It's something that should be done every day (or almost every day). My off days are yoga.

I have always worked full-time. I have two teens and I'm 52 and my body is fit and my skin is clear. Genetics have meant I never looked skinny and I was never skinny---I have more of a J-Lo or fit curvier body--but its more like Jennifer Aniston with age.

I like fashion and I like myself when I'm fit. I'm not depressed.

I am aging very well and have modeled good habits for my teen sons.

For women, in particular, I think athletics as kids/teens is so important. I knew the way inside and out of a weight room and what pushing yourself to the limits and be mentally tough from that. Some people never learn that and have a hard time picking up exercise for the first time in middle age.


So you’re type A, without saying you’re Type A


Ha. You know it's funny. I'm very lazy about everything else. I'm not a great at cleaning/keeping the house my husband does that. It takes a lot to get me motivated in other areas of life. Yet with grades in school and exercise I leaned towards type A...every single other thing I am a huge type B. I was awful on maternity leaves without structure...making a call to schedule an appointment seemed over-whelming. I need a lot of structure in my life. I guess exercise provides some of that.

But, you wouldn't call be type A if you met me outwardly.


Self reflection would be helpful.


NP and I’m the same way. Serious and disciplined about work and exercise, Type B about most other stuff, including: housekeeping, child rearing, clothes, money. I used to be Type A about money, but not anymore.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:23     Subject: Re:Staying fit for spouse
Anonymous wrote:I workout for myself. Period. I grew up playing travel soccer very competitively, high school soccer and track, etc. I was always used to training. In my 20s/early 30s I ran many marathons, did Spin classes and prior to that every exercise fad--step aerobics, Jane Fonda in the 80s, etc. I love the feeling of exercise and so need it for my mental health.

Exercise to me is like brushing your teeth. It's something that should be done every day (or almost every day). My off days are yoga.

I have always worked full-time. I have two teens and I'm 52 and my body is fit and my skin is clear. Genetics have meant I never looked skinny and I was never skinny---I have more of a J-Lo or fit curvier body--but its more like Jennifer Aniston with age.

I like fashion and I like myself when I'm fit. I'm not depressed.

I am aging very well and have modeled good habits for my teen sons.

For women, in particular, I think athletics as kids/teens is so important. I knew the way inside and out of a weight room and what pushing yourself to the limits and be mentally tough from that. Some people never learn that and have a hard time picking up exercise for the first time in middle age.





I'm 51 and share your philosophy on exercise and fitness. I am slim, look healthy, etc. I did not do a sport or exercise in any way until age 35. Truth is, I have a fast metabolism and my body responds to minimal exercise. I don't have to workout hardcore to look and feel good physically. I started for my mental health. I walk, I hike, I do yoga. Not daily. Genetics plays a larger role in how we age and how fit we are. If I had to workout hardcore to look even just decent, I'd throw in the towel.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:21     Subject: Staying fit for spouse
Anonymous wrote:160 is not a healthy weight. Get in shape for yourself!


160 is healthy 180 not so much
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:21     Subject: Re:Staying fit for spouse
I think more important and helpful than centering the conversation around losing weight or not losing weight is living a healthy lifestyle, including a nutritious diet and active lifestyle.

This is going to look and mean different things for different people. For me it means eating regular and nutritious meals that focus on fat, fiber and protein. Real good ingredients with as few additives and preservatives as possible. Staying active whether that means regular walking when I need to slow down (I have an immune issue that flares up and affects my joint and muscles), or jogging and lifting light weights. Sleeping well etc…

If you have a healthy lifestyle and are 180 pounds then that is where your body thrives. If you know there are issues with your lifestyle and that improving it would help in the long run and also would result in some weight lost then I think you owe it to yourself to make those adjustments.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:20     Subject: Staying fit for spouse
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are any of you dieters worried you're going to mess up your metabolisms? Create an unhealthy relationship with food that counter-productively makes binging more likely?

I've been reading that an obsession with weight and calories can do more harm than good.


It’s not dieting to track calories and realize oh wow X is 300 calories, who knew.

Adding 1/2 avocado to my turkey sandwich adds 170 calories a tomato slice 22 calories.

Its education


The avocado has more nutritional value.


Not really



Tomatoes increase inflammation. An avocado, while higher in calories, also has fat which will leave you satisfied longer. If you are strictly counting calories, go ahead and eat a tomato. If you care about what is best overall, eat an avocado. There is more to good nutrition than calorie count.


I’m sure it’s unnecessary on a turkey sandwich but the avocado marketing real has their hooks in you.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:19     Subject: Re:Staying fit for spouse
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I workout for myself. Period. I grew up playing travel soccer very competitively, high school soccer and track, etc. I was always used to training. In my 20s/early 30s I ran many marathons, did Spin classes and prior to that every exercise fad--step aerobics, Jane Fonda in the 80s, etc. I love the feeling of exercise and so need it for my mental health.

Exercise to me is like brushing your teeth. It's something that should be done every day (or almost every day). My off days are yoga.

I have always worked full-time. I have two teens and I'm 52 and my body is fit and my skin is clear. Genetics have meant I never looked skinny and I was never skinny---I have more of a J-Lo or fit curvier body--but its more like Jennifer Aniston with age.

I like fashion and I like myself when I'm fit. I'm not depressed.

I am aging very well and have modeled good habits for my teen sons.

For women, in particular, I think athletics as kids/teens is so important. I knew the way inside and out of a weight room and what pushing yourself to the limits and be mentally tough from that. Some people never learn that and have a hard time picking up exercise for the first time in middle age.


So you’re type A, without saying you’re Type A


Ha. You know it's funny. I'm very lazy about everything else. I'm not a great at cleaning/keeping the house my husband does that. It takes a lot to get me motivated in other areas of life. Yet with grades in school and exercise I leaned towards type A...every single other thing I am a huge type B. I was awful on maternity leaves without structure...making a call to schedule an appointment seemed over-whelming. I need a lot of structure in my life. I guess exercise provides some of that.

But, you wouldn't call be type A if you met me outwardly.


Self reflection would be helpful.


Lol. I do that when I'm running. It clears the mind and I'm able to hash out things in my head. It is absolutely the best time to self-reflect. It got me through my dad's terminal illness and a stressful work situation.


Okay so reflect on this.

OP asked I feel comfortable at 160 but my h wants me to be 140, shoikd I lose weight for him or be the weight I feel best at.

But you explained your extreme Type A way to lose weight and stay fit (which comes to find out is the way you deal with stress and anxiety).

Why did u feel the need to share that when it was not asked. (hint: it has to do with needing to say out loud somewhere how proud of yourself you are in this area even if it doesn’t help OP. Even if you are useless in the household, you’ve got your fit on)

Just think about that.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:14     Subject: Staying fit for spouse
I try to stay fit for me. My spouse doesn’t mention my weight when it’s up or down - but he is supportive of making time for me to exercise because it’s important for my mental health.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:13     Subject: Staying fit for spouse
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think I once read a quote by Dan Savage saying that we owe it to our partner fitness wise to be the older version of the person they fell in love with, in part by staying within 15-20 pounds (or so, don't remember his exact numbers)of what you were when you met.

I'm down with that.

DS hates fat people, FWIW.


Not really relevant. He's also into threesomes with his partner. I don't have to agree with him on everything to mention something I agree with him on.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:13     Subject: Staying fit for spouse
Anonymous wrote:I workout and stay fit for myself. I’m sure my husband appreciates it, but I don’t do it for him. I care about how I feel and look.




+1
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:07     Subject: Staying fit for spouse
OP I say don’t try to lose wright. Just let that desire go. Just try to get enough sleep, get outside, feel your feelings, quit drinking, incorporate colors into your diet, and experiment with violet exercise to find something you enjoy. Don’t stress about it. If you start a good habit and then quit, it’s okay. You can just start again. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Like yourself. Enjoy life and enjoy your relationships.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:05     Subject: Staying fit for spouse
Anonymous wrote:You’re still young but carrying an extra 50 pounds for 10 more years is going to take a toll on your joints, your insulin resistance, heart and libido. Your relative youth is likely regulating your mood and attitudes on life however when things start hurting and your hormones trend downward due to weight and lack of exercise that will all change, your husband will view you as a hindrance and his interest and attraction will also fade.



And it's going to get worse. OP

You'd have to be a giant to feel miserable on under 2000 calories. It's downhill from here for you if you don't cut calories. Go down to 1700. It feels like nothing but if you maintain that over time and even a tiny bit of exercise, you will be fine. Do it for you. Let it be a bonus that your DH will be happy too.

Signed, 5'8" overweight who has a mother who is 5'5" and obese.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:03     Subject: Staying fit for spouse
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are any of you dieters worried you're going to mess up your metabolisms? Create an unhealthy relationship with food that counter-productively makes binging more likely?

I've been reading that an obsession with weight and calories can do more harm than good.


It’s not dieting to track calories and realize oh wow X is 300 calories, who knew.

Adding 1/2 avocado to my turkey sandwich adds 170 calories a tomato slice 22 calories.

Its education


The avocado has more nutritional value.


Not really



Tomatoes increase inflammation. An avocado, while higher in calories, also has fat which will leave you satisfied longer. If you are strictly counting calories, go ahead and eat a tomato. If you care about what is best overall, eat an avocado. There is more to good nutrition than calorie count.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:03     Subject: Staying fit for spouse
160 is not a healthy weight. Get in shape for yourself!
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:02     Subject: Re:Staying fit for spouse
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I workout for myself. Period. I grew up playing travel soccer very competitively, high school soccer and track, etc. I was always used to training. In my 20s/early 30s I ran many marathons, did Spin classes and prior to that every exercise fad--step aerobics, Jane Fonda in the 80s, etc. I love the feeling of exercise and so need it for my mental health.

Exercise to me is like brushing your teeth. It's something that should be done every day (or almost every day). My off days are yoga.

I have always worked full-time. I have two teens and I'm 52 and my body is fit and my skin is clear. Genetics have meant I never looked skinny and I was never skinny---I have more of a J-Lo or fit curvier body--but its more like Jennifer Aniston with age.

I like fashion and I like myself when I'm fit. I'm not depressed.

I am aging very well and have modeled good habits for my teen sons.

For women, in particular, I think athletics as kids/teens is so important. I knew the way inside and out of a weight room and what pushing yourself to the limits and be mentally tough from that. Some people never learn that and have a hard time picking up exercise for the first time in middle age.


So you’re type A, without saying you’re Type A


Ha. You know it's funny. I'm very lazy about everything else. I'm not a great at cleaning/keeping the house my husband does that. It takes a lot to get me motivated in other areas of life. Yet with grades in school and exercise I leaned towards type A...every single other thing I am a huge type B. I was awful on maternity leaves without structure...making a call to schedule an appointment seemed over-whelming. I need a lot of structure in my life. I guess exercise provides some of that.

But, you wouldn't call be type A if you met me outwardly.


Self reflection would be helpful.


Lol. I do that when I'm running. It clears the mind and I'm able to hash out things in my head. It is absolutely the best time to self-reflect. It got me through my dad's terminal illness and a stressful work situation.
Anonymous
Post 01/11/2023 12:02     Subject: Staying fit for spouse
Anonymous wrote:I think I once read a quote by Dan Savage saying that we owe it to our partner fitness wise to be the older version of the person they fell in love with, in part by staying within 15-20 pounds (or so, don't remember his exact numbers)of what you were when you met.

I'm down with that.

DS hates fat people, FWIW.