This goes back awhile, but when one of my children applied to private school in 7th, she had seen a counselor for anxiety and depression. One of the four schools she applied to asked explicitly about whether the student had ever had treatment for mental health issues, and I was honest, including saying that she had been treated and was doing fine. She did not get into that school, and got into the others. YMMV, but fair warning.

Parents of children with serious mental health and developmental disabilities tend to be incredibly strong and caring. The trolls on here are gross. Kids are resilient and benefit from learning along side all kinds of peers. During the application process, honesty is the best policy: If you want to find the right fit for your kid than be upfront with the school about what your child needs to thrive. If the school can't provide it, find one that can. There are so many good schools around here. Cast a wide net, find the right fit, and know that there are many families out there going through similar experiences.

Anonymous wrote:Well, I do judge people for not wanting to deal with "differences". What you are asking for is any diagnosis of a CHILD to be an eliminating factor for their education. I don't think any decent person would be onboard with that. However, requesting appropriate supports from the school, absolutely.
I just can't understand why our goal isn't to support kids instead of putting them into some type of stratification at every turn.

Also, I'm not really sure how the OP knows which girls have multiple diagnosis, medication and therapy schedules.

I’m a moderate. Sometimes you can’t support a kid. Sometimes families don’t want to help. But hopefully the school is working on accommodations for the student. But at a certain point a school needs to move students out who are too disruptive.

Well, I do judge people for not wanting to deal with "differences". What you are asking for is any diagnosis of a CHILD to be an eliminating factor for their education. I don't think any decent person would be onboard with that. However, requesting appropriate supports from the school, absolutely.
I just can't understand why our goal isn't to support kids instead of putting them into some type of stratification at every turn.

Also, I'm not really sure how the OP knows which girls have multiple diagnosis, medication and therapy schedules.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If what you want is to NOT have “disruptive” kids in class, maybe go to the special needs boards and see which schools parents are complaining about or being warned away from, and look into those.

op is clearly very insensitive and may be a troll but when people are scrimping and saving to get he best school situation for their particular child it’s legit to think some kids would have a better experience in a situation where there isn’t someone having a melt down every day. I mean, would you feel more or less stressed if your work was disrupted on the regular by loud screaming and crying? pretending kids can’t be affected by that is not helping anyone’s mental health.

I’m the poster who made the suggestion to look at schools that special needs families are warned away from, and I stand by that suggestion. I don’t think screaming and crying disruptions are common, but anyone who absolutely wants a minimum of children with “multiple medications for various disorders” (paraphrasing the OP), look for schools that simply don’t support kids with any kind of differences. I’m not going to judge someone for not wanting to deal with kids with differences, certainly not going to judge someone who doesn’t want their kid’s class truly disrupted by regular outbursts. I *am* going to judge someone who says “RIP to them” about children so troubled they are cutting themselves, but that wasn’t the OP.

If OP’s school is dealing with truly disruptive behavior (and isn’t a school specializing in kids with mental or behavioral differences), they will need to get a handle on the situation or they will lose families. Parents have a reasonable expectation that their kids’ classrooms will be conducive to learning.

From what I’ve heard of Potomac, that suggestion by another PP isn’t a bad one, they don’t seem very welcoming of kids with ADHD or learning differences, although I think it’s pretty competitive to get into.

Anonymous wrote:I disagree that OP is "gross". If you have a small class with several kids that have mental health problems, it definitely affects the dynamics of the class and I completely understand that isn't what OP signed up for when she chose private school for her child. In fact, many families choose private school precisely to avoid these types of issues.

-Parent of a DD with anxiety and depression; I love my DD dearly, but several kids with her profile in one class would be a lot.

+1

Same. I think some people think it would be much easier (for them) if we all just shut up and pretend these things aren't happening, which is the worst part.

Anonymous wrote:If what you want is to NOT have “disruptive” kids in class, maybe go to the special needs boards and see which schools parents are complaining about or being warned away from, and look into those.

op is clearly very insensitive and may be a troll but when people are scrimping and saving to get he best school situation for their particular child it’s legit to think some kids would have a better experience in a situation where there isn’t someone having a melt down every day. I mean, would you feel more or less stressed if your work was disrupted on the regular by loud screaming and crying? pretending kids can’t be affected by that is not helping anyone’s mental health.

My DD has some mental health and emotional issues.

We were not asked during the application process but I was forthcoming about it during the interview and applications. Maybe it impacted some of her acceptances, but that was the point for us, we wanted her where she would be supported. She was accepted to a few and currently attending a rigorously academic school where she's well supported. I figured I'd let them decide whether or not it was too much for them.

Anonymous wrote:My child has severe mental health issues. Most days she doesn't leave her bedroom. She rarely showera or attends her special ed day school. You don't know what "severe" mental health issues look like. Stay in your lane, fool.

I get it, the OP is not discussing kids with “severe mental health needs.” This is mild stuff OP. A suicidal child, one with paranoid schizophrenia, severe anorexia, heavy trauma, etc. is severe mental health need. Sometimes it’s treatable and is no longer severe. . Sometimes not. A child that won’t leave her room is having serious problems.

If what you want is to NOT have “disruptive” kids in class, maybe go to the special needs boards and see which schools parents are complaining about or being warned away from, and look into those.

You can ask about whether there’s a learning center, and what kind of supports it offers, and how the school supports kids with learning differences or adhd or behavioral differences. Even if you make it clear your kid doesn’t have those concerns, the answers will give you insight into how supportive the school is for neurodiverse students. Look for one that isn’t, like Potomac, if that’s your priority.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You agree with a poster who flippantly says "RIP to them"-- about a CHILD-- and in the same breath call for compassion and understanding. GTFOH.

You and all the PPs are horrible humans. I'm embarrassed for you.

Once you’re over your embarrassment for me, do you want to take a minute to answer the question: why is it the obligation of all to endure the class-upending drama from the disrupters?

NP here, but I’ll answer. It’s not your obligation. And the school, if it isn’t intending to be one that specifically caters to certain needs or doesn’t want to be known as one that does, will sort it out soon or will lose families that don’t want to deal with the disruption. In the meantime, I’d recommend you find a school with very little neurodiversity so that your atrophied compassion muscles don’t get strained.

So, the million dollar question...if you directly ask a school about their neurodiversity will they honestly tell you? I assume this is the overall dilemma. Any school will claim student privacy or whatever, so it is probably impossible to ascertain directly from the administration. Do you just base it on the general reputation of the school and make conclusions?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You agree with a poster who flippantly says "RIP to them"-- about a CHILD-- and in the same breath call for compassion and understanding. GTFOH.

You and all the PPs are horrible humans. I'm embarrassed for you.

Once you’re over your embarrassment for me, do you want to take a minute to answer the question: why is it the obligation of all to endure the class-upending drama from the disrupters?

NP here, but I’ll answer. It’s not your obligation. And the school, if it isn’t intending to be one that specifically caters to certain needs or doesn’t want to be known as one that does, will sort it out soon or will lose families that don’t want to deal with the disruption. In the meantime, I’d recommend you find a school with very little neurodiversity so that your atrophied compassion muscles don’t get strained.

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Anonymous wrote:During the application process, do schools ask about mental health issues? We are at a smallish school and of the girls in my daughters class, at least half have admitted to having extreme mental health/emotional issues - ie, they are on more than one type of medication for a variety of disorders and lots of therapy. Because this is a small school, it really changes the dynamic of the classroom when this number of students is that unstable and is always “working through something”. It can be uncomfortable and puts people on edge. I think this is even more exacerbated with girls, given the drama that already naturally accompanies teenage-hood.

So do schools/does your school ask about past or current mental health issues during the application process?

Careful not to judge. The two most judgy parents I know who always talked as if their kids were perfect are dealing with the worst things right now - one had a teen boy and other has a teen girl.

They always thought they were exempt and in reality their kids turned out to have the worst hidden issues of all

I don't mind if other students have "hidden" issues. That is their parents headache. I have problems with "Not Hidden" issues of other kids that is disruptive for my children. If these kids with problems are secretly being bulimic or cutting themselves? Well, RIP to them. If they are smashing things in the classroom and screaming on the floor - take them out of the classroom!!

- DP.

Damn. You went there. But I agree with you.

NP. As do I.

Someone — how about one of the “gross” posters — please explain why anyone is obligated to accept a disruptive, substandard environment that is entirely optional? As in, the disrupters remain enrolled at the discretion of the administration?

The kid who upended my DS’s k-8 grade for years due to his uncontrolled conduct disorder was finally made to leave in about 5th grade. It was a game changer.

You can have compassion and understanding for these kids without being required to be a sacrificial martyr with your own kid’s education and your $45k annual tuition. Nope.

You agree with a poster who flippantly says "RIP to them"-- about a CHILD-- and in the same breath call for compassion and understanding. GTFOH.

You and all the PPs are horrible humans. I'm embarrassed for you.

Once you’re over your embarrassment for me, do you want to take a minute to answer the question: why is it the obligation of all to endure the class-upending drama from the disrupters?

so that poster was over the top but honestly this post o
must be hitting a little too close to home with you. we aren’t horrible we are noting that some (not all) of these behaviors are disruptive to an entire class. when it affects other students disproportionately it is a problem. our class is full of empathetic kids but there are so many dysfunctions occurring from a small few with additional needs. This is definitely born out of COVID as i have an older child whose class never had the issues my younger child is dealing with