Anonymous
01/10/2023 11:32
Subject: schools w/ no merit aid
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.
We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.
I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."
Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.
So, you really need to talk to the coaches about various scholarships that may be available. My niece was recruited for high academic D3 sports and several offered "leadership" and other seemingly BS scholarships since they don't technically offer sports scholarships...the coaches clued her into the game. The scholarships didn't cover anywhere near 100%, but some were close to 25%.
Agreed. She can apply, and if she gets in, you should TRY to negotiate the cost. Hopefully she has several other schools that would be a great fit. She should also start adjusting to the reality that there is no perfect school.
Anonymous
01/10/2023 11:30
Subject: Re:schools w/ no merit aid
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP: If your daughter wants to attend an all-female LAC, then check-out Smith College and Mount Holyoke. Bryn Mawr is another. Not sure whether or not merit aid is available. Agnes Scott College in Atlanta is also all female.
Unfortunately for your situation,Wellesley College does not have to "buy" students.
If you can't afford Wellesley, how on earth can you afford Smith?
Smith awards merit scholarships.
Anonymous
01/10/2023 11:30
Subject: schools w/ no merit aid
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.
We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.
I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."
Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.
Yes, I've BTDT. My kid is a high performer (MCPS magnet 4.0 UW GPA, 1600 SAT, awards for musical instrument at a national level) and the choices boiled down to U. Maryland or school that give merit aid in which DC is in the top percentile of applicants.
How do people afford places like Wellesley? They put their retirement at risk, they take out Parent PLUS loans, they take out HELOCs. They have family money. Whatever they do or have wasn't possible for us.
By the time my kids will be old enough for college, sending both to a place like Wellesley will probably be close to a million. There is zero chance that we would have been able to save that much and a bear market near the end of the time when their 529s are aggressive really doesn't help. These schools were always aimed at the richest. I think there were a few decades when they were really expensive but doable for a large number of UMC, but not big law level UMC, families, but that time is over.
Anonymous
01/10/2023 11:29
Subject: schools w/ no merit aid
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wellesley actually offers generous financial aid even to wealthier households. Have you run the NPC for that school? They use the CSS and take more into account than FAFSA.
Not for us. We now make too much. But, that was not always the case and that is not considered. We have no generational money. No parent support. We had loans of our own. We now make a very comfortable salary but that is a recent development and one that does not allow us to pay $70-80K / year without basically directing all of our income to school (at least for 2 of the years) and travel expenses getting to /from.
Then take out debt and pay it off at your new healthy wage. Or don’t! Accept, and help change the culture, around the idea that kids attend the best school they can get into. Because that’s why people are so offended when they hit this wall. They’ve internalized the idea that a person’s merit is weighed by the school they attend. That’s only ever been true in one small bubble. You just happened to live in it.
THis 100%! People should just look around them at their colleagues, it's highly likely they are surrounded by smart, hard working, successful people who (gasp!!) did not attend elite universities. Highly likely even the executives at their company (GASP) did not attend elite universities either. Yet somehow, these people are extremely successful. All in the mindset. Where you go is not nearly as important as WHAT YOU DO ONCE YOU ARE THERE
Anonymous
01/10/2023 11:27
Subject: schools w/ no merit aid
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wellesley actually offers generous financial aid even to wealthier households. Have you run the NPC for that school? They use the CSS and take more into account than FAFSA.
Not for us. We now make too much. But, that was not always the case and that is not considered. We have no generational money. No parent support. We had loans of our own. We now make a very comfortable salary but that is a recent development and one that does not allow us to pay $70-80K / year without basically directing all of our income to school (at least for 2 of the years) and travel expenses getting to /from.
So, you can't "afford" to pay $80K. Adjust your attitude, be happy you can afford $40K and begin searching for great schools you can afford. Note, that "if you make too much", you likely can find $5K+ to cash flow each year as well for extra college expenses.
We have no generational money either. No parent support. Both had loans of our own. We started saving when kids were babies and didn't let up until we knew we had enough saved (I was 35 before I took a nice vacation, other than my honeymoon). If we hadn't saved enough, we would have directed our kids towards colleges we could afford. change the mindset because there are many many colleges that you can easily afford. You are getting upset about schools that your kid isn't even guaranteed to get into (ie. Schools with very low acceptance rates).
Adjust your expectations and be smart about your search. You are not entitled to anything---some will always have more than you, but realize you are still extremely privileged having $40K/year saved for your kid. You and your kid will only be limited by your own mindset
Anonymous
01/10/2023 11:25
Subject: schools w/ no merit aid
Anonymous wrote:Wellesley actually offers generous financial aid even to wealthier households. Have you run the NPC for that school? They use the CSS and take more into account than FAFSA.
Yes. They expect you to borrow against your house.
Anonymous
01/10/2023 11:24
Subject: schools w/ no merit aid
Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.
We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.
I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."
Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.
Yes, I've BTDT. My kid is a high performer (MCPS magnet 4.0 UW GPA, 1600 SAT, awards for musical instrument at a national level) and the choices boiled down to U. Maryland or school that give merit aid in which DC is in the top percentile of applicants.
How do people afford places like Wellesley? They put their retirement at risk, they take out Parent PLUS loans, they take out HELOCs. They have family money. Whatever they do or have wasn't possible for us.
Anonymous
01/10/2023 11:17
Subject: schools w/ no merit aid
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.
We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.
I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."
Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.
They are either poor enough to get a lot of aid, rich enough to not need it, or had parents putting away a lot of money from conception.
The thing is, we did put away a LOT of money. Since birth we have made choices to forego other things in favor of this. And still, it's not enough to have all the choices we thought we'd have.
How could you not know that top universities would be $80K/year when your kid hit college age? There are basic college cost estimators available that indicate that. Yes, you sacrificed and now your kid will have ~$40K/year to spend on college---much more than many kids. Yes, you sacrificed and good for you for planning. But you should have easily known that would not "be enough" for the top schools. So you start planning/searching for schools you can afford (hint: there are tons of them). Your kid can have the perks of graduating college with minimal debt.
Anonymous
01/10/2023 11:14
Subject: schools w/ no merit aid
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.
We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.
I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."
Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.
That mindset will disappoint you and your daughter. There is no perfect school or dream school and your daughter is not "limited" because one school she likes doesn't offer merit.
Her daughter is literally limited to schools that do offer merit
And there are plenty of them! Change the mindset and get excited about the choices you can afford.
Many people are limited to driving a Honda, not a BMW because that's what they can afford. If they choose to drive a BMW, they have to live with the consequences of the higher cost (loans/not enough $$ to pay for something else). College is similar.
Or you don't play the sport in college---you do rec sports at a school that gives you great merit.
Merit can be found. My 26 ACT, 3.5UW gpa, only 1 AP, kid graduated from a T100 university where they got 35% of tuition, making total costs ~$40K/year. This was at a school where kid was at 50percentile for scores/gpa. OP could afford that, as they have ~$150-160K in their 529.
Same kid had a 65% of tuition merit offer from a T120 school making it only $25K/year because they were at 75percentile+. I'm going to guess someone who "can get into a top SLAC" can easily find many schools with merit awards, if my kid with a 26 ACT could. Same kid also had two in-state schools that would only cost $15K/year after the merit awards.
Excellent analogy actually.
But I am guessing OP will not be able to take it in as OP seems to have a I-deserve-this-more attitude.
PS - I drive a Honda (Toyota actually) but once dreamed of driving something 'else' but my Toyota is pretty awesome
Anonymous
01/10/2023 11:14
Subject: schools w/ no merit aid
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.
We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.
I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."
Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.
That mindset will disappoint you and your daughter. There is no perfect school or dream school and your daughter is not "limited" because one school she likes doesn't offer merit.
I'm aware and that was not my question. I went to a Big U midwest state school because I had no money and no other options. I did fine. Just because you think that we are not "limited" doesn't mean that we think that way. I don't understand why you think this comment was helpful. You're giving me your opinion and it is one I did not ask for.
Because your "thinking you are limited" is a flawed mentality that shows privilege and sets kids up for feeling bad about themselves when it's not really needed. Your DD has MANY, MANY more options that just "big U midwest state school" if she opens her eyes and really searches, rather than simply lamenting "I can't afford T20 schools and it's not fair". Kids take their direction from parents. It's our job to help our kids find great schools that they can get into and afford. That means finding 2-3 AMAZING safety schools (kid at 75%+, acceptance rate over 50%, affordable to you) and encouraging your kid to get excited and see the best parts of those schools, so that if they dont' get into any target/reaches they are still excited about life/college. A kid who has stats for top SLAC will succeed anywhere---only thing stopping them will be their own mindset/attitude/work ethic.
Anonymous
01/10/2023 11:13
Subject: schools w/ no merit aid
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.
We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.
I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."
Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.
That mindset will disappoint you and your daughter. There is no perfect school or dream school and your daughter is not "limited" because one school she likes doesn't offer merit.
Her daughter is literally limited to schools that do offer merit
That is one ridiculous way to see it.
but that's true for many...
And many are “limited” by other factors: their academic records, the fact that they aren’t recruited athletes, the fact that all of the need-based aid in the world still might not make a school affordable because of travel costs and other incidentals.
Everyone is limited; OP’s daughter has fewer limitations than most and should focus on the many possibilities available to her.
Sure, OP's daughter is limited because her parents did well for themselves, but not well enough. =
OP Daughter is only limited in life by her own/her families crazy expectations----once they realize that their dd can be successful no matter where she attends college and start to earnestly search for a great school and not worry about what "they can't have", they will all be much happier. She has many more opportunities than majority of kids. But if she grows up lamenting that it's not enough, she will never be happy/successful
This is what happens when every one from high school counselors to friends ranks schools. The schools themselves don't help because they heavily market the illusion that anyone can afford to attend, this gets reinforced when people stay things like no one pays sticker price for college. The reality is that Wellesley and schools like Wellesley are for the wealthy and they add in enough kids from poor families to pretend they have diversity. Some families that can't really afford it go into massive debt to send their kids there, but the school really isn't for them, it's for the families who can afford it
Anonymous
01/10/2023 11:07
Subject: schools w/ no merit aid
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.
We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.
I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."
Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.
That mindset will disappoint you and your daughter. There is no perfect school or dream school and your daughter is not "limited" because one school she likes doesn't offer merit.
Her daughter is literally limited to schools that do offer merit
That is one ridiculous way to see it.
but that's true for many...
And many are “limited” by other factors: their academic records, the fact that they aren’t recruited athletes, the fact that all of the need-based aid in the world still might not make a school affordable because of travel costs and other incidentals.
Everyone is limited; OP’s daughter has fewer limitations than most and should focus on the many possibilities available to her.
Sure, OP's daughter is limited because her parents did well for themselves, but not well enough. =
OP Daughter is only limited in life by her own/her families crazy expectations----once they realize that their dd can be successful no matter where she attends college and start to earnestly search for a great school and not worry about what "they can't have", they will all be much happier. She has many more opportunities than majority of kids. But if she grows up lamenting that it's not enough, she will never be happy/successful
Anonymous
01/10/2023 11:05
Subject: schools w/ no merit aid
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Long story short: we will not get any financial aid. We make too much for help but don't make enough to go full pay at a private in a way that leaves any wiggle room.
We are just starting this process, and child is an athlete that is in the midst of recruiting (only D3 at this point b/c of NCAA limits- and FTR I don't care if DC plays a sport or not but she does). I'm looking at the finances of the various schools and was shocked to learn that some of the schools she's been talking to give NO MERIT aid. DC has excellent grades, community service, ECs, and athletics.
I get she's one of many like man others . . . and I know at DC there are no athletic scholarships. But, how are people affording places like Wellesley? Their website and what I'm finding says they give ZERO aid on the basis that, essentially, "everyone there is special."
Yes, she can look elsewhere. And she is. But it is so sad to have to shut down a possibility that would, honestly, be such a perfect fit for her in every way. With room and board, etc. the cost per year is nearly $80K!!!! Two years would eat up more than our 529 has in it. Super bummed to have to limit her.
That mindset will disappoint you and your daughter. There is no perfect school or dream school and your daughter is not "limited" because one school she likes doesn't offer merit.
Her daughter is literally limited to schools that do offer merit
That is one ridiculous way to see it.
but that's true for many...
Yeah, people are limited to what they can afford. Shocking I tell you.
There are literally hundreds of great colleges that would be affordable for this kid. They just need to look outside the box of "elite" universities. Have the correct mindset and they will find an amazing school that meets their budget. They are worrying that they can't afford the schools that are largely a lottery system to get into anyhow, so no guarantee to gain admissions. Yes, it sucks to not be able to afford something, but there are so many options that will be affordable if they just look---it's only a small amount that are not. And if that was a high priority, they could have made the choice to save more over the years.
Anonymous
01/10/2023 11:05
Subject: schools w/ no merit aid
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Do you can afford it, you’re just unhappy with having to sacrifice (“wiggle room”) so you want other families who are similarly well-off to cross subsidize you? Cool!
Screw you. No one has ever subsidized anything for me. Ever. I grew up at the poverty line and took all the scraps I could. So don't talk to me about my situation.
OP, you do not sound like someone worth assisting
Anonymous
01/10/2023 11:03
Subject: schools w/ no merit aid
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Wellesley actually offers generous financial aid even to wealthier households. Have you run the NPC for that school? They use the CSS and take more into account than FAFSA.
Not for us. We now make too much. But, that was not always the case and that is not considered. We have no generational money. No parent support. We had loans of our own. We now make a very comfortable salary but that is a recent development and one that does not allow us to pay $70-80K / year without basically directing all of our income to school (at least for 2 of the years) and travel expenses getting to /from.
We were in a similar situation a few years ago. Kid ended up getting recruited to a target school (meaning his stats were towards the top) and getting some merit. We are able to fund it with a combination of 529 (had $130 saved at his high school grad) and making up the rest as we go. Did he get to go NESCAC like he wanted? Nope, but close enough and more affordable (although $58k a year is still a pinch)