Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately you are simply a loser if you do not play games among kids today. You can restrict video games but your child will be a social outcast. This is how (boys) socialize today

So true, some kids don't want to come to your home because we don't have video games. Or they said they'd rather have play dates at their home. My son is 7. His cousin of same age got a nintendo last year, I am still fighting it, seemingly alone.

That's an odd take and not true. Some kids play video games nothing wrong with that. Some don't nothing wrong with that either . What's important is that they don't have too much screen time

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately you are simply a loser if you do not play games among kids today. You can restrict video games but your child will be a social outcast. This is how (boys) socialize today

Interesting take.

My 13 year old son does not play video games. We have a gaming system in the basement that we only got last year. He thinks it's boring. He is not a social outcast. He has a group of friend who are boys and girls and they hang out often. He has boys who he is friends with more one-on-one and they come over and hang out. They will sometimes use our gaming system but they watch movies, play air hockey, run around outside, call their friends, etc. And no, he's not on social media either.

My sense of the social order by middle school is the boys who play a lot of video games are perceived as the "losers" and I dislike using that term or referencing coolness or popularity. But no, the video game kids don't seem to be at the top of the social food chain or anything.

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately you are simply a loser if you do not play games among kids today. You can restrict video games but your child will be a social outcast. This is how (boys) socialize today

So true, some kids don't want to come to your home because we don't have video games. Or they said they'd rather have play dates at their home. My son is 7. His cousin of same age got a nintendo last year, I am still fighting it, seemingly alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is fine to do this when they are this ages but once they get into middle school video games are an important social connection for boys.

This is essentially the same argument I hear a lot for social media and girls and I think that this is the absolute worst time in their lives to just release them to their digital spaces. So much can go wrong here.

I agree that social media is bad for kids. Girls should be playing video games instead.

The girls I know who spend too much time playing video games are just as messed up as the ones who spend too much time on social media.

speak for yourself. As a family we play Animal Crossing and Mario party games. We interact with each other and have fun...gasp! And we do other things too!! (I have girls)

Anonymous wrote: games which are totally inappropriate( Fortnite/ roblox). I want I tell these kids parents WTF- what’s wrong with you?

I have zero roblox experience, my kid is solidly in the Minecraft camp, but what is so totally inappropriate about roblox?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really, really easy to avoid at 7. Not so easy around 11-12 and on. Just don’t have the system in your home and enjoy the next few years while you can.

This just isn't true. We have a switch and a ps5. Tweens/teens play maybe 2 hours a month. They are busy with friends, activities, homework. Video games are for kids with no friends and nothing to do, not the other way around.

Come on, now.

I grew up in the late 80s and 90s. We all watched tons of TV and played video games non-stop. Nintendo was essentially our babysitter while my parents worked. I don't allow my kids unlimited screen time.

Since I restrict screen time i do spend a lot of time entertaining my kids. We always have a friend over or are doing a non screen activity to keep them entertained, innshape and not begging for screens. Op, your kids are young. What are you doing to keep their attention on something else?

Once they get ti middle school the fight is over. Boys socialize with each other via video games.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really, really easy to avoid at 7. Not so easy around 11-12 and on. Just don’t have the system in your home and enjoy the next few years while you can.

This just isn't true. We have a switch and a ps5. Tweens/teens play maybe 2 hours a month. They are busy with friends, activities, homework. Video games are for kids with no friends and nothing to do, not the other way around.

Come on, now.

We started allowing them end of 2nd grade which was the beginning of Covid. It was a lifeline for my only child to do FaceTime calls while playing Roblox with his friends.

Unfortunately, it's definitely been hard to keep a limit on. He's in 5th grade now and most of his socializing outside school is with friends playing online. At least they're socializing. But we do have limits.

I am not a fan of gaming culture but there are some positives. I think is a lot better than having your kid on social media. I am just saying from experience as a middle school teacher, gamers don't get involved with the drama that the kids on social media do.

I would say it is the lesser of the two evils.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another hard part is my husband doesn't see what the big deal is since he played unlimited video games as a kid and now as an adult doesn't play at all (one of my criteria when dating was no gamers!)

I think Gen X and Millennial moms freak out about video games much more than dads do, because you didn't play video games growing up. All my male friends played video games when we were younger, going back to the Atari 2600 for many of us. It was a normal pastime for us, and we generally turned out just fine. So, when I see my kids playing Fortnight with their friends, it doesn't really bother me.

Gen X (Atari 2600 and Nintendo) mom here. I see some pitfalls in this generation's video game scene that simply didn't exist in our day.

Like what? -another Gen X mom

Like most things, it's about balance and knowing how YOUR child handles screen time - and how much is too much for them. Our kids are active sports virtually year-round and spend time with their friends every week. We do not let them play video games during the week because their homework and sports practices are the priority during the week. Between Sat-Sun our DS probably plays between 2-3 hrs of video games and our DD maybe plays 1 hour.

Yes! they occasionally complain and ask for more time, but we've been consistent in enforcing our HH rules on video games. The only exception being on those rare days they are home sick from school etc.

So this works for us, but I fully appreciate how it may not for other families - and try not to judge. We have friends whose kids probably spend 6+ hours each week on video games and others who don't allow any in the house. I don't worry about what they do - or what they think of our parenting.

I do think if your child is not active in sports or some sort of club activities, and they don't have friends that they play with regularly - then video games are a poor substitute for real social engagements - but that aside I think most parents can figure this out.

OP, I agree with you. Just because everyone does it doesn’t mean it’s ok. Think about what’s considered acceptable or normal in the American diet, for example.

There’s gotta be something else your kid likes to do, no? Can you nudge them even slightly toward that? Baby steps. Also, can you find alternate media that’s related to the game franchise? Many popular video game franchises have a line of books, toys, tabletop games etc. Maybe start there. And if your kid is truly addicted, maybe just resign yourself to focus on the positives. Staying home and playing games can keep them out of other types of trouble that kids and teens are apt to get into. Video games can also help reinforce skills such as problem solving, perseverance, teamwork, etc.

My kid plays with friends when they come over, an hour or two of yelling and laughing while they play Mario Party or whatever. Then they play a board game or clown around making an ungodly racket with the ukuleles.

When there isn't a friend over to play with he's not interested. So it doesn't have to end up as a couch zombie situation.

Anonymous wrote:Really, really easy to avoid at 7. Not so easy around 11-12 and on. Just don’t have the system in your home and enjoy the next few years while you can.

This just isn't true. We have a switch and a ps5. Tweens/teens play maybe 2 hours a month. They are busy with friends, activities, homework. Video games are for kids with no friends and nothing to do, not the other way around.