Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone taken the time to ask MIL about her wishes?

OP here.

Yes, she wants to move with my FIL to their rural property.

Both of my IL's want to move to their property. My SIL1 and BIL1 also want them to move so they can have their privacy that was agreed upon when they bought my IL's house.

The loosey goosey plan was that my IL's would come back "every now and then" maybe 1, 2 nights a month when my MIL had an appointment in the city. It's not solely my MIL's needs at play here, it's also that my FIL is having a hard time giving up his social life. He comes back in town to spend time with his adult friends too, go to the local tavern, etc.

No, they don't. If they both wanted to move, they would have.

FIL either needs to man up and take care of his wife in his house or find a retirement community for his wife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone taken the time to ask MIL about her wishes?

OP here.

Yes, she wants to move with my FIL to their rural property.

Both of my IL's want to move to their property. My SIL1 and BIL1 also want them to move so they can have their privacy that was agreed upon when they bought my IL's house.

The loosey goosey plan was that my IL's would come back "every now and then" maybe 1, 2 nights a month when my MIL had an appointment in the city. It's not solely my MIL's needs at play here, it's also that my FIL is having a hard time giving up his social life. He comes back in town to spend time with his adult friends too, go to the local tavern, etc.

So, as you see, both in-laws do NOT want to move out there: your FIL doesn’t want to. He wants to have a vacation house but not actually live there. If he wanted to, he would. And he doesn’t give AF that you, SIL1, MIL, or anyone else thinks he should man up and follow through on his obligations. Not one single F.

Do you really think that if they move out to this cabin, MIL will get the care she needs and FIL won't lose his mind?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone taken the time to ask MIL about her wishes?

OP here.

Yes, she wants to move with my FIL to their rural property.

Both of my IL's want to move to their property. My SIL1 and BIL1 also want them to move so they can have their privacy that was agreed upon when they bought my IL's house.

The loosey goosey plan was that my IL's would come back "every now and then" maybe 1, 2 nights a month when my MIL had an appointment in the city. It's not solely my MIL's needs at play here, it's also that my FIL is having a hard time giving up his social life. He comes back in town to spend time with his adult friends too, go to the local tavern, etc.

So, as you see, both in-laws do NOT want to move out there: your FIL doesn’t want to. He wants to have a vacation house but not actually live there. If he wanted to, he would. And he doesn’t give AF that you, SIL1, MIL, or anyone else thinks he should man up and follow through on his obligations. Not one single F.

+1

If I were SIL1, I would be racing to a divorce lawyer. WTF

+2

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused- who are their children? the sons or the daughters?

I believe the sons and that the sisters-in-law are OP and her DH's brothers' wives, but OP can confirm.

Correct, BIL1, SIL2 and my husband are the adult children.

BIL1 and SIL1 bought my inlaws house where they live with MIL and FIL.

So FIL and MIL have two sons and one daughter?

Or three sons?

Correct, two sons and one daughter.

Why is SIL1, who is not a daughter, responsible for taking care of MIL? That is crazy.

Yes, that is crazy. SIL1 is in my thoughts - what a nightmare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone taken the time to ask MIL about her wishes?

OP here.

Yes, she wants to move with my FIL to their rural property.

Both of my IL's want to move to their property. My SIL1 and BIL1 also want them to move so they can have their privacy that was agreed upon when they bought my IL's house.

The loosey goosey plan was that my IL's would come back "every now and then" maybe 1, 2 nights a month when my MIL had an appointment in the city. It's not solely my MIL's needs at play here, it's also that my FIL is having a hard time giving up his social life. He comes back in town to spend time with his adult friends too, go to the local tavern, etc.

So, as you see, both in-laws do NOT want to move out there: your FIL doesn’t want to. He wants to have a vacation house but not actually live there. If he wanted to, he would. And he doesn’t give AF that you, SIL1, MIL, or anyone else thinks he should man up and follow through on his obligations. Not one single F.

+1

If I were SIL1, I would be racing to a divorce lawyer. WTF

Yup. She told me she's giving it a year before she leaves. - OP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone taken the time to ask MIL about her wishes?

OP here.

Yes, she wants to move with my FIL to their rural property.

Both of my IL's want to move to their property. My SIL1 and BIL1 also want them to move so they can have their privacy that was agreed upon when they bought my IL's house.

The loosey goosey plan was that my IL's would come back "every now and then" maybe 1, 2 nights a month when my MIL had an appointment in the city. It's not solely my MIL's needs at play here, it's also that my FIL is having a hard time giving up his social life. He comes back in town to spend time with his adult friends too, go to the local tavern, etc.

So, as you see, both in-laws do NOT want to move out there: your FIL doesn’t want to. He wants to have a vacation house but not actually live there. If he wanted to, he would. And he doesn’t give AF that you, SIL1, MIL, or anyone else thinks he should man up and follow through on his obligations. Not one single F.

You know what, you are 100% correct. - OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone taken the time to ask MIL about her wishes?

OP here.

Yes, she wants to move with my FIL to their rural property.

Both of my IL's want to move to their property. My SIL1 and BIL1 also want them to move so they can have their privacy that was agreed upon when they bought my IL's house.

The loosey goosey plan was that my IL's would come back "every now and then" maybe 1, 2 nights a month when my MIL had an appointment in the city. It's not solely my MIL's needs at play here, it's also that my FIL is having a hard time giving up his social life. He comes back in town to spend time with his adult friends too, go to the local tavern, etc.

So, as you see, both in-laws do NOT want to move out there: your FIL doesn’t want to. He wants to have a vacation house but not actually live there. If he wanted to, he would. And he doesn’t give AF that you, SIL1, MIL, or anyone else thinks he should man up and follow through on his obligations. Not one single F.

+1

If I were SIL1, I would be racing to a divorce lawyer. WTF

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused- who are their children? the sons or the daughters?

I believe the sons and that the sisters-in-law are OP and her DH's brothers' wives, but OP can confirm.

Correct, BIL1, SIL2 and my husband are the adult children.

BIL1 and SIL1 bought my inlaws house where they live with MIL and FIL.

So FIL and MIL have two sons and one daughter?

Or three sons?

Correct, two sons and one daughter.

Why is SIL1, who is not a daughter, responsible for taking care of MIL? That is crazy.

SIL1 agreed to buy the house with BIL1 because (her impression) is that she was doing BIL1 a favor because he wanted to take care of his parents. From my understanding, SIL1 and BIL1 were basically bailing out MIL1 and FIL1 who have been pulling home equity loans every 2-5 years over the past 20 years. The home purchase allowed the home to "stay in the family" which was BIL1 and FIL's wishes. It's been in the family for something like 80+ years. It should have been paid off 50+ years ago but there was snowballing home equity loans. There was very little home equity at the time of purchase and the actual value of the home was unknown because it hadn't been updated in 20+ years. The carpets are decades old.

SIL1, how she came to became the default caregiver, I don't know. BIL1 is very passive and wants to take care of his Dad. So he takes him on vacations and they do alot of things together. SIL1 just kind of accepts it and doesn't really speak out against it, up until very recently when the dynamic has shifted as it's been well over a year since they were supposed to move out and SIL1 is uncomfortable with needing to supervise MIL.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone taken the time to ask MIL about her wishes?

OP here.

Yes, she wants to move with my FIL to their rural property.

Both of my IL's want to move to their property. My SIL1 and BIL1 also want them to move so they can have their privacy that was agreed upon when they bought my IL's house.

The loosey goosey plan was that my IL's would come back "every now and then" maybe 1, 2 nights a month when my MIL had an appointment in the city. It's not solely my MIL's needs at play here, it's also that my FIL is having a hard time giving up his social life. He comes back in town to spend time with his adult friends too, go to the local tavern, etc.

So, as you see, both in-laws do NOT want to move out there: your FIL doesn’t want to. He wants to have a vacation house but not actually live there. If he wanted to, he would. And he doesn’t give AF that you, SIL1, MIL, or anyone else thinks he should man up and follow through on his obligations. Not one single F.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused- who are their children? the sons or the daughters?

I believe the sons and that the sisters-in-law are OP and her DH's brothers' wives, but OP can confirm.

Correct, BIL1, SIL2 and my husband are the adult children.

BIL1 and SIL1 bought my inlaws house where they live with MIL and FIL.

So FIL and MIL have two sons and one daughter?

Or three sons?

Correct, two sons and one daughter.

Why is SIL1, who is not a daughter, responsible for taking care of MIL? That is crazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused- who are their children? the sons or the daughters?

I believe the sons and that the sisters-in-law are OP and her DH's brothers' wives, but OP can confirm.

Correct, BIL1, SIL2 and my husband are the adult children.

BIL1 and SIL1 bought my inlaws house where they live with MIL and FIL.

So FIL and MIL have two sons and one daughter?

Or three sons?

Correct, two sons and one daughter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused- who are their children? the sons or the daughters?

I believe the sons and that the sisters-in-law are OP and her DH's brothers' wives, but OP can confirm.

Correct, BIL1, SIL2 and my husband are the adult children.

BIL1 and SIL1 bought my inlaws house where they live with MIL and FIL.

So FIL and MIL have two sons and one daughter?

Or three sons?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused- who are their children? the sons or the daughters?

I believe the sons and that the sisters-in-law are OP and her DH's brothers' wives, but OP can confirm.

Correct, BIL1, SIL2 and my husband are the adult children.

BIL1 and SIL1 bought my inlaws house where they live with MIL and FIL.

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone taken the time to ask MIL about her wishes?

OP here.

Yes, she wants to move with my FIL to their rural property.

Both of my IL's want to move to their property. My SIL1 and BIL1 also want them to move so they can have their privacy that was agreed upon when they bought my IL's house.

The loosey goosey plan was that my IL's would come back "every now and then" maybe 1, 2 nights a month when my MIL had an appointment in the city. It's not solely my MIL's needs at play here, it's also that my FIL is having a hard time giving up his social life. He comes back in town to spend time with his adult friends too, go to the local tavern, etc.