Anonymous
01/17/2023 22:59
Subject: Parents paying for school
I vote with your husband.
I would ever want my parents mixed up in something so essential as decisions about my kids’ education. Making decisions as parents is hard enough as it is.
I would ever want my parents mixed up in something so essential as decisions about my kids’ education. Making decisions as parents is hard enough as it is.
Anonymous
01/17/2023 22:11
Subject: Re:Parents paying for school
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Your husband should get veto power over taking this money. He knows your parents will use this as a manipulation tool. Listen to him.
Amen.
With 20-20 hindsight, I see now how much better it is to do things on your own if you can. Other people's money can create a lot of problems.
OMG yes. I think so little that appears free is actually free. Some parents love to use money as a way to control, manipulate and berate.
Anonymous
01/17/2023 22:09
Subject: Parents paying for school
As others are trying to point out relationships, peace of mind and a good marriage are more important than the money. Be a team with your husband. See if he might agree to it if boundaries are set and agreed upon. If not, I would go with your husband.
As I have said before, your parents are the ones doing something messy and problematic. Once the kids are grown, unless there is a disability or illness involved, you really need to be equal and fair. Asking you is not equalizing. They should find another way to give the same or agree to boundaries, but it won't work that way sadly.
Also, don't be surprised if they still expect you to do more as they age and the private school funds didn't get them much in terms of visits or help.
As I have said before, your parents are the ones doing something messy and problematic. Once the kids are grown, unless there is a disability or illness involved, you really need to be equal and fair. Asking you is not equalizing. They should find another way to give the same or agree to boundaries, but it won't work that way sadly.
Also, don't be surprised if they still expect you to do more as they age and the private school funds didn't get them much in terms of visits or help.
Anonymous
01/17/2023 22:02
Subject: Parents paying for school
If you don't need it, and taking it would cause a problem in your family dynamics - and maybe your marriage - then why are you even considering it? Just say no thanks. Maybe say you've saved enough for that but would love a donation to the college fund.
Anonymous
01/16/2023 20:42
Subject: Re:Parents paying for school
Anonymous wrote:Your husband should get veto power over taking this money. He knows your parents will use this as a manipulation tool. Listen to him.
Amen.
With 20-20 hindsight, I see now how much better it is to do things on your own if you can. Other people's money can create a lot of problems.
Anonymous
01/16/2023 20:14
Subject: Re:Parents paying for school
Set clear rules but a accept the $. Lots of people in private schools have it paid by parents. Very common. Lot of $