Anonymous
Post 12/21/2022 15:20     Subject: Meal for very picky eaters?
Please don't make something specially for them as they won't eat it and you will be annoyed. A bowl of goldfish crackers and sliced baguette is enough. Maybe have out some sliced cheddar cheese and grapes if you think others will snack on that.

Don't focus on food with these kids. Enjoy them for other aspects of their personalities that you like.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2022 15:09     Subject: Re:Meal for very picky eaters?
Many kids turn into picky eaters when the go to elementary school. They see other kids eating crappy food and they want to do the same. The parents cave and start serving them processed food and lots of sweets. They are probably the same parents that bring Gatorade and Doritos for their five-year old’s after game snacks.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2022 14:25     Subject: Re:Meal for very picky eaters?
Anonymous wrote:I feel like no two picky eaters are alike. You need to know what they'll eat.

+1

Or just make something that seems mostly acceptable (including just bowls of separate things!) and if they eat, they eat and if they don’t, they don’t. It’s about the gesture here. Maybe make one of your sister’s favorites.
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2022 11:48     Subject: Meal for very picky eaters?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It’s my sister, her 2 kids, my parents, and us: 2 adults and 3 kids.

My go to a big pot of soup and bread and salad, but that leaves nothing for her girls.

Chicken nuggets might not work, because I’m not sure what brand they will eat and I do not want to ask.

Snacks seem like a good idea…or a roast chicken???


Just do your go to and have some sort of plain chicken and plain rolls / bread. Or a selection of some deli meats. Do not make a big deal if they do or do not eat it.


Honestly, I think this is the worst option. For a kid who has this level of anxiety around food, this is going to feel like a whole lot of pressure, because the food is similar enough to what they eat that it is going to feel like pressure, and different enough that it's not going to feel safe.

I would either take your sister up on her offer to run out for fast food for them, or I'd have the actual foods they eat available, not things that seem similar to someone who doesn't have this issue (e.g. chicken tenders instead of chicken nuggets, or rolls instead of sliced bread), but very different to a child.

Anonymous
Post 12/21/2022 11:43     Subject: Meal for very picky eaters?
My nephews are very picky. After many years of trying to have something on the table for them, I've finally listened to my SIL's "Don't worry about them, they will not starve." to heart.
Its hard because I love cooking good food but if all they will eat in Ritz crackers and cheddar cheese during cocktails, and whatever dessert is, I will put out two full sleeves of Ritz for them! My brother was picky as a kid and now eats everything, so odds are his kids will too.
My own kids have gone through picky phases and now as teens eat a wide range of things but still have their own preferences. One wants sauce on the side, one hate pineapple etc...
Anonymous
Post 12/21/2022 09:48     Subject: Re:Meal for very picky eaters?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Pp here and Also I don’t have picky eaters, much the opposite but I know it is incredibly hard and part of it is genetic so everyone being so high and mighty about it should choose to be kinder. And just because the sister gets fast food on a holiday when she is coming to and from somewhere as a solution for a busy high stress day doesn’t mean she does that regularly. She’s trying to find a solution that doesn’t impact her extended family which is what people usually recommend people with picky eaters do. A day like that is not the day to pick your picky eating battles.


Part of it is genetic??? Are you kidding me?

That is only true if the parents are nut case picky eaters themselves, and pass on bad habits. It is not physiologically "genetic." Please.


Im just sharing the recent research. Picky eating can certainly be exacerbated by environmental conditions, like anything it’s usually a combination of nature and nurture. But research does really support that among many components, genetics is a piece. Here are some sources from people that actually study and have knowledge on this stuff. Again I don’t have anything to gain here, my kids eat just about anything. I’m just sharing the information.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7694604/

Here is one a little easier to digest:
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/why-are-you-picky-eater-blame-genes-brains-and-breast-milk-180953456/

https://acamh.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jcpp.12647

Just like anything genes often matter to predispose us and then home matters in how that is expressed. It’s complicated and just blaming parents doesn’t help anything.



Thank you for a very gracious, informative response. No ugly name calling and thread diverting. Dcum could use more like you. 👏
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2022 22:00     Subject: Meal for very picky eaters?
Anonymous wrote:It’s my sister, her 2 kids, my parents, and us: 2 adults and 3 kids.

My go to a big pot of soup and bread and salad, but that leaves nothing for her girls.

Chicken nuggets might not work, because I’m not sure what brand they will eat and I do not want to ask.

Snacks seem like a good idea…or a roast chicken???


Just do your go to and have some sort of plain chicken and plain rolls / bread. Or a selection of some deli meats. Do not make a big deal if they do or do not eat it.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2022 21:45     Subject: Meal for very picky eaters?
Anonymous wrote:It’s my sister, her 2 kids, my parents, and us: 2 adults and 3 kids.

My go to a big pot of soup and bread and salad, but that leaves nothing for her girls.

Chicken nuggets might not work, because I’m not sure what brand they will eat and I do not want to ask.

Snacks seem like a good idea…or a roast chicken???


I may have missed something, but why don’t you want to ask about the chicken nugget brand? The holidays is not the time to add on stress about kids eating. I would ask which brands of chicken nuggets, tater tots or whatever the kids eat, have it on hand, and then cross that off your long list of to do’s. The kids will be fed and your sister won’t have to worry about taking kids out for fast food or trying to convince them to try something new. It would obviously be awesome if the kids suddenly started to eat a kale salad or a charcuterie board, but the holidays are not the time to try it. I’m sure it’s stressful for your sister to take her kids anywhere when food is involved, so just remove that stress from the equation.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2022 21:39     Subject: Re:Meal for very picky eaters?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Those girls are crappy eaters. Bad mom parenting skills. If they are hungry, they will eat healthy food.


Clearly you don't have picky kids. Mine would go days or weeks without eating even if we gave them what they liked.


We ate healthy/regular food when the babies were in the oven. Lots of food from different continents and made sure it was spicy. When they popped out, continued the veggie/fruit healthy baby food. When they were toddlers we served them everything; broccoli, asparagus, chile, sardines, hamburgers, thai chicken, pizza, sweet potatoes, salmon, omelets, lentil soup, blah blah blah. They still eat most everything. It takes a little effort to plan, but worth it for their health. They didn't have a choice to be picky eaters. Wasn't going to happen on my watch.


I did all this, and my 5 yo now refuses to eat anything that isn't white or light brown or a blueberry. Seriously. All kids go through a phase where their disgust reaction to food is activated (it's probably an evolutionary holdover that helped humans avoid accidentally poisoning themselves as they became old enough to start feeding themselves), but some kids get it much stronger than others. You can believe that you controlled this with your choices, but you probably didn't.

Also, both my DH and I were very picky eaters as children and now we both eat very healthy, varied diets. This is something we tell our picky eater, too -- you might not want to try these things now, but you will probably change your mind as you get older and see that your pickiness limits you. But the point is that they've found picky eating to have a genetic component and this seems quite plausible based on our family. But since DH and I now eat lots of different foods, including lots of vegetables and foods with different spice profiles, I'm guessing my kid will grow out of it, too. But right now, she eats a lot of peanut butter sandwiches. It's really okay.


I fed my kid all kinds of fruits and veggies, only healthy, never sweets when little but all of the sudden got pucky and they’d go days without eating if we forced things. Eventually as tweens they got curious and now will try most things. Not worth a power struggle as long as they eat.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2022 21:39     Subject: Re:Meal for very picky eaters?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Those girls are crappy eaters. Bad mom parenting skills. If they are hungry, they will eat healthy food.


Clearly you don't have picky kids. Mine would go days or weeks without eating even if we gave them what they liked.


We ate healthy/regular food when the babies were in the oven. Lots of food from different continents and made sure it was spicy. When they popped out, continued the veggie/fruit healthy baby food. When they were toddlers we served them everything; broccoli, asparagus, chile, sardines, hamburgers, thai chicken, pizza, sweet potatoes, salmon, omelets, lentil soup, blah blah blah. They still eat most everything. It takes a little effort to plan, but worth it for their health. They didn't have a choice to be picky eaters. Wasn't going to happen on my watch.


NP. So parents of kids with ARFID should starve them? You sound like an idiot, OP. I hope you learn more about medical and mental health disorders for the sake of your children. Or will you not be allowing "depression" on your watch?


We're not talking about kids with psychological disorders, such as ARFID. We're talking about kids who are run-of-the-mill picky eaters. And I agree with PP. That is 99% parent induced.


Actually, if these kids really only eat the items OP says they do, we absolutely are talking about kids with ARFID. They only eat a handful of items and are missing major food groups and important nutritional content. A doctor would absolutely diagnose them with ARFID.

But I suspect that OP is exaggerating about their pickiness and also that the kids are likely more picky when visiting family, making the situation seem more dire than it actually is. All the more reason for OP to just let it go, serve some peanut butter sandwiches along with whatever food she's putting out for adults, and move on with her life.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2022 21:34     Subject: Re:Meal for very picky eaters?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Those girls are crappy eaters. Bad mom parenting skills. If they are hungry, they will eat healthy food.


Clearly you don't have picky kids. Mine would go days or weeks without eating even if we gave them what they liked.


We ate healthy/regular food when the babies were in the oven. Lots of food from different continents and made sure it was spicy. When they popped out, continued the veggie/fruit healthy baby food. When they were toddlers we served them everything; broccoli, asparagus, chile, sardines, hamburgers, thai chicken, pizza, sweet potatoes, salmon, omelets, lentil soup, blah blah blah. They still eat most everything. It takes a little effort to plan, but worth it for their health. They didn't have a choice to be picky eaters. Wasn't going to happen on my watch.


I did all this, and my 5 yo now refuses to eat anything that isn't white or light brown or a blueberry. Seriously. All kids go through a phase where their disgust reaction to food is activated (it's probably an evolutionary holdover that helped humans avoid accidentally poisoning themselves as they became old enough to start feeding themselves), but some kids get it much stronger than others. You can believe that you controlled this with your choices, but you probably didn't.

Also, both my DH and I were very picky eaters as children and now we both eat very healthy, varied diets. This is something we tell our picky eater, too -- you might not want to try these things now, but you will probably change your mind as you get older and see that your pickiness limits you. But the point is that they've found picky eating to have a genetic component and this seems quite plausible based on our family. But since DH and I now eat lots of different foods, including lots of vegetables and foods with different spice profiles, I'm guessing my kid will grow out of it, too. But right now, she eats a lot of peanut butter sandwiches. It's really okay.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2022 21:24     Subject: Re:Meal for very picky eaters?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Those girls are crappy eaters. Bad mom parenting skills. If they are hungry, they will eat healthy food.


Clearly you don't have picky kids. Mine would go days or weeks without eating even if we gave them what they liked.


We ate healthy/regular food when the babies were in the oven. Lots of food from different continents and made sure it was spicy. When they popped out, continued the veggie/fruit healthy baby food. When they were toddlers we served them everything; broccoli, asparagus, chile, sardines, hamburgers, thai chicken, pizza, sweet potatoes, salmon, omelets, lentil soup, blah blah blah. They still eat most everything. It takes a little effort to plan, but worth it for their health. They didn't have a choice to be picky eaters. Wasn't going to happen on my watch.


NP. So parents of kids with ARFID should starve them? You sound like an idiot, OP. I hope you learn more about medical and mental health disorders for the sake of your children. Or will you not be allowing "depression" on your watch?


We're not talking about kids with psychological disorders, such as ARFID. We're talking about kids who are run-of-the-mill picky eaters. And I agree with PP. That is 99% parent induced.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2022 21:21     Subject: Meal for very picky eaters?
I would serve what you usually would for everyone else and have some white dinner rolls, chicken tenders and goldfish out for the picky kids. They may or may not eat them but at least there will be something there for them.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2022 21:21     Subject: Meal for very picky eaters?
If you're having soup and salad and break getting a tray of ChikFilA nuggets would go GREAT and goldfish also are something some people like with soup. It's fine, OP.

I do the ChikFilA tray a lot for kid palettes: no one cares. You can transfer them to a dish to reheat and make them look nice. Plus, here's a secret: the adults LOVE them too.

Honestly, just get what they like. Or ask your Sister to bring a 30 pack or a catering tray.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2022 21:21     Subject: Re:Meal for very picky eaters?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Those girls are crappy eaters. Bad mom parenting skills. If they are hungry, they will eat healthy food.


Clearly you don't have picky kids. Mine would go days or weeks without eating even if we gave them what they liked.


We ate healthy/regular food when the babies were in the oven. Lots of food from different continents and made sure it was spicy. When they popped out, continued the veggie/fruit healthy baby food. When they were toddlers we served them everything; broccoli, asparagus, chile, sardines, hamburgers, thai chicken, pizza, sweet potatoes, salmon, omelets, lentil soup, blah blah blah. They still eat most everything. It takes a little effort to plan, but worth it for their health. They didn't have a choice to be picky eaters. Wasn't going to happen on my watch.


NP. So parents of kids with ARFID should starve them? You sound like an idiot, OP. I hope you learn more about medical and mental health disorders for the sake of your children. Or will you not be allowing "depression" on your watch?