Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it’s mandatory, you need to make it mandatory.

One of you is playing a silly game about “fun” and “worthwhile” and “knowing you should show up” for time that is paid work time you see as essential for team building.

The other is just responding to the directives as given.

Do everyone a favor and stop playing games. If the boss determines that an in person lunch is important for team building and needs to be on Friday? That’s fine! Communicate that clearly. It’s a mandatory activity and a mandatory in office day. Don’t do any dumb little dances about it.

PS I get that the skippers are shooting themselves in the foot and of course I would advise them to show up in terms of their own self-interest. I’m just saying I’m with them in principle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millennials won’t work a minute longer than they are being paid to work. They have a time clock mentality.

I’m a millennial and this doesn’t ring true with me at all. But I’ve always been a highly compensated professional. How much are the millennials you’re referring to being paid?

+2

I’m a millennial and understand the importance of showing face - I’m in the office right now though I have a WFH option.

There are those who like to sh** on millennials for no discernible reason.

OP I think that while the junior employees certainly have the right to not attend these events, they’re not doing themselves any favors.

I think a lot depends on the job and the employer. Does your company promote internally and is there a chance of advancement for these employees? I've managed people in roles where there was no real way up other than leaving and those people tended to not care at all about face time or attending anything optional.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it’s obvious why it’s important to attend these events, then you should be able to articulate the negatives consequences of not attending them couched in terms of how it’s affecting their work, rather than their absence from the in-person events themselves.

This. Even if the work effects are intangible (ie, perception of being not a team player which would factor into promotions), that’s how to frame it. If you don’t feel comfortable staying that, consider your workplace practices around non mandatory events.

There has to be actual consequences though (not that I agree).
If face time is important to promotion regardless of work product, then show that by promoting just the ones who show up. Give all the good work and juicy tidbits just to people who are in person when the head honchos are.

I don't think that you should actually do this. You need to look at total work product obviously. But if there's no impact, then nobody cares.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Millennials won’t work a minute longer than they are being paid to work. They have a time clock mentality.

I’m a millennial and this doesn’t ring true with me at all. But I’ve always been a highly compensated professional. How much are the millennials you’re referring to being paid?

+2

I’m a millennial and understand the importance of showing face - I’m in the office right now though I have a WFH option.

There are those who like to sh** on millennials for no discernible reason.

OP I think that while the junior employees certainly have the right to not attend these events, they’re not doing themselves any favors.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Irrelevant of your feelings on this, your boss noticed and commented, so the culture of your office (rightly or wrongly) is to judge people based on their presence at these events. I think it would be a kindness to tip off your junior employees. They may be thinking "not mandatory means totally optional, this is just for people who WANT to go" and have absolutely no idea that their absences are noted and commented on.

I would NOT bring this up in their annual review - it is not relevant to their immediate work, and it was optional.

But I would try and give them a heads up, because if I were in their shoes, I'd want to know. Something casual, off the record, like at the end of a phone call. "Hey, just a small thing - Big Boss noticed you weren't at either of the holiday events. I know they are optional, so you have every right not to come, but I figured if I were in your shoes I'd want a heads up that she does pay attention. I think it might help her impression of you if you were able to attend things like this when they come up. If there's anything I can do to make that easier for you, let me know."

PP here - just wanted to add, this also gives them the opportunity to say something like "argh, Mondays and Friday are impossible for me because of childcare! What bad luck!" which then gives YOU the opportunity to advocate for your staff, like saying something to your boss. "Larlo mentioned he was so bummed to miss the cocktail party! He had a scheduling conflict but would have liked to be there." And maybe in the moment next time, instead of shrugging your shoulders when the boss comments, you'd be able to say "oh, yes, they were sad to miss this, the time just did not work for them. Mid week is really much better for my staff" rather than implicitly agreeing with your boss when she commented.

Anonymous wrote:If it’s mandatory, you need to make it mandatory.

One of you is playing a silly game about “fun” and “worthwhile” and “knowing you should show up” for time that is paid work time you see as essential for team building.

The other is just responding to the directives as given.

Do everyone a favor and stop playing games. If the boss determines that an in person lunch is important for team building and needs to be on Friday? That’s fine! Communicate that clearly. It’s a mandatory activity and a mandatory in office day. Don’t do any dumb little dances about it.

Anonymous wrote:I would not put this into the formal review process because these events were not mandatory. I think it is fine to pass on the information informally that the higher ups like folks to go to these things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Irrelevant of your feelings on this, your boss noticed and commented, so the culture of your office (rightly or wrongly) is to judge people based on their presence at these events. I think it would be a kindness to tip off your junior employees. They may be thinking "not mandatory means totally optional, this is just for people who WANT to go" and have absolutely no idea that their absences are noted and commented on.

I would NOT bring this up in their annual review - it is not relevant to their immediate work, and it was optional.

But I would try and give them a heads up, because if I were in their shoes, I'd want to know. Something casual, off the record, like at the end of a phone call. "Hey, just a small thing - Big Boss noticed you weren't at either of the holiday events. I know they are optional, so you have every right not to come, but I figured if I were in your shoes I'd want a heads up that she does pay attention. I think it might help her impression of you if you were able to attend things like this when they come up. If there's anything I can do to make that easier for you, let me know."

PP here - just wanted to add, this also gives them the opportunity to say something like "argh, Mondays and Friday are impossible for me because of childcare! What bad luck!" which then gives YOU the opportunity to advocate for your staff, like saying something to your boss. "Larlo mentioned he was so bummed to miss the cocktail party! He had a scheduling conflict but would have liked to be there." And maybe in the moment next time, instead of shrugging your shoulders when the boss comments, you'd be able to say "oh, yes, they were sad to miss this, the time just did not work for them. Mid week is really much better for my staff" rather than implicitly agreeing with your boss when she commented.

if you are providing childcare for your child on Mondays and Fridays you arent working. THIS is the problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Irrelevant of your feelings on this, your boss noticed and commented, so the culture of your office (rightly or wrongly) is to judge people based on their presence at these events. I think it would be a kindness to tip off your junior employees. They may be thinking "not mandatory means totally optional, this is just for people who WANT to go" and have absolutely no idea that their absences are noted and commented on.

I would NOT bring this up in their annual review - it is not relevant to their immediate work, and it was optional.

But I would try and give them a heads up, because if I were in their shoes, I'd want to know. Something casual, off the record, like at the end of a phone call. "Hey, just a small thing - Big Boss noticed you weren't at either of the holiday events. I know they are optional, so you have every right not to come, but I figured if I were in your shoes I'd want a heads up that she does pay attention. I think it might help her impression of you if you were able to attend things like this when they come up. If there's anything I can do to make that easier for you, let me know."

PP here - just wanted to add, this also gives them the opportunity to say something like "argh, Mondays and Friday are impossible for me because of childcare! What bad luck!" which then gives YOU the opportunity to advocate for your staff, like saying something to your boss. "Larlo mentioned he was so bummed to miss the cocktail party! He had a scheduling conflict but would have liked to be there." And maybe in the moment next time, instead of shrugging your shoulders when the boss comments, you'd be able to say "oh, yes, they were sad to miss this, the time just did not work for them. Mid week is really much better for my staff" rather than implicitly agreeing with your boss when she commented.

if you are providing childcare for your child on Mondays and Fridays you arent working. THIS is the problem.