A usage note: when talking about humans, male and female are adjectives not nouns. You are female, or a woman, not "a female." Talking about "a female" or "females" is the language of animal science, and tends to be used by groups that devalue women.

Anonymous wrote:I am a female, in early 40s, 15+ working in the industry. It just happen that I seem to have problem working with female supervisors, and I don't know why. My personality is easy going, genuine, a little bit tomboyish, and all of my friends are female. I find that I work or click better with male supervisor, so what is wrong with me? I have given it a thought, and I think it could be that I don't know how to build a relationship with female supervisor and probably not talking things that we have in common. For me, it is easy to talk to male supervisor, and I can talk about anything. I think women supervisors are tend to be more sensitive.

Anyways, I am not from here, so maybe I don't get what people like to talk or interests or hot topics about from here. Any advice for me will be appreciated!

Op you are not alone! Lots of females have problems working with female superiors. Myself included.the probelm is, some women like to be difficult and caddy and make things harder for younger/lower level female associates. That’s on them.

A lot if female bosses have a caricature or stereotype about what makes a good boss. Thus us mostly what they believe is a “strong” man. The steroid about being authoritative, commanding, running a tight ship, seizing opportunities, etc. But, the reality is different. Sure, there are cultures where the stereotypical male boss wins points, but in contemporary culture, that stereotype is a recipe for disaster.

Ironically, for the past two decades, male leaders have been told to become more sensitive. It’s about EQ, DEI, opportunities for women and minorities, climate change/sustainability, etc. Males also benefit from the assumption that they will progress. The dum of all this is that male managers tend to be more confident and less tied to any particular role or set of subordinates. They are just passing through. Their biggest mistake would be to be “insensitive.” Meanwhile, you have female bosses trying to show everyone how tough they can be.

I’m a guy and gave two female bosses, one great, one terrible (so I left the agency). I agree with a lot of the other comments. The bad boss was a micromanager, not just in terms of work product and timing, but also on strategic issues. Her favorites were those she could “save” from themselves, especially in their personal lives (Baby out of wedlock? Here’s a promotion). Everything was viewed through the lens of how it would make her look, with much less interest on my own growth.

In contrast, I think that a lot of male managers take for granted that they will get promoted and that everything will work out, so they’re pretty chill about most things. They don’t take everything personally, and generally want you to do well. They don’t see their subordinates as competing with them or potentially undermining them. Some women bosses act the opposite. The focus is on them and ensuring hyhst their subordinates are in-line and running a tight ship. That may sound good, but the experience is stifling.

For some supervisors, especially females, it took them a long time to get where they are, so it's understandable when someone strong comes in and could possibly replace them.
So, it takes a very strong non judgmental supervisor to be comfortable supervising another female and not be threatened. And we tend to perceive female supervisors as sensitive or motherly. That is not always the case. It's alot of view on female roles and everything else.
I mean you view them differently if they don't have kids and go to the top fast and you also view them differently when they do have kids and got to the top.

I've had the most problem with female supervisors cause they are attacking to make up for their lack of confidence and lower skills

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you give some examples of problems you're running into?

If my supervisor happens to be a woman, they don't give me opportunities to grow my career ( don't give me works even though I want to learn) or care about me even I am sick badly/come back from vacation or personal life etc. She will chat happily with my other female coworkers as best friends in the same team, but she will kind of exclude/isolate me making me feeling so sad. I feel lonely. I don't understand why.

If this is you, OP, then you sound kind of needy. She is not your friend, not your mother. She might not talk to you as freely because you come across as needy. Just your first sentence makes you read as not willing to do the work to even reread your sentence, which is grammatically incorrect.

Work harder, OP. Do a better job.

Sounds to me like the female supervisor has a problem with OP. I bet she has a gossipy clique of women she feels superior to.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve found that female bosses, especially if we are close in age, like to reinforce their authority and that means not being too friendly. Comes down to how threatened they feel. It can take them quite some time to warm up to a adders who may be their equal. You can tell if you’re in a bad position when the female boss dotes on all the men but becomes the ice queen with you.

Warm up to staffers… you need to find common ground somehow.

I’ve found that female bosses, especially if we are close in age, like to reinforce their authority and that means not being too friendly. Comes down to how threatened they feel. It can take them quite some time to warm up to a adders who may be their equal. You can tell if you’re in a bad position when the female boss dotes on all the men but becomes the ice queen with you.