Anonymous wrote:I would indulge this and go all out.

Get tons of Chinese food.

Go to the store tomorrow and get edamame, Fly by Jing sauces (Whole Foods), chili crisp, fortune cookies, maybe stop by a Chinese bakery. Go to World Market and get Chinese drinks. H-mart snacks. Have fun with it! It'll be 2 hours or errands for less work in the kitchen.

Make a green bean casserole with chow mien noodles and friend onions.

If your family, like mine, would be "sad" at no turkey, don't tell them. if they bring sides, put them in the mix, too. And then do it for Christmas if you must.

The whole point of ordering Chinese is to avoid all sort of work, running to 3 different stores and cooking casseroles defeats the whole purpose “take out”

Anonymous wrote:Thanksgiving is an American holiday. Not Chinese. Don’t eat Chinese food. Gross.

Watch out, your racism is showing!!

Anonymous wrote:

OP seems oddly passive and I feel sort of hot, frustrated and headachy- really having to confront a lot of sexist assumptions and not happy about it. She was going Thanksgiving shopping tonight? I have been to the market about eleven teen times over the past two weeks.

I’m going Thanksgiving shopping tomorrow and I’m not even in OP’s situation. You don’t need to go to the store eleven teen times in 2 weeks to shop for one meal. OP— agree with all those that tell you to get heat and cook Thanksgiving items and order Chinese on the side. Thanksgiving doesn’t need to be stressful for anyone.

Anonymous wrote:Take out Chinese food is for Christmas Eve , not Thanksgiving.

That seems pretty obvious

That's a Jewish tradition (or at least most of the Jewish friends I have did this because Chinese restaurants were the only places open on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day).

Take out Chinese food is for Christmas Eve , not Thanksgiving.

That seems pretty obvious

OP seems oddly passive and I feel sort of hot, frustrated and headachy- really having to confront a lot of sexist assumptions and not happy about it. She was going Thanksgiving shopping tonight? I have been to the market about eleven teen times over the past two weeks.

Best Thanksgiving dinner I had was a few years ago, barbecue pork, pork belly, ribs, baked beans, mac and cheese, hush puppies, corn bread and peach cobbler for dessert. My son made it.

I'd also love a smorgasbord of Chinese dishes from a take out place. You can give thanks without a turkey and stuffing.

Anonymous wrote:Thanksgiving is an American holiday. Not Chinese. Don’t eat Chinese food. Gross.

This. DH sounds like a spoiled child.

He's not a true patriot. You should divorce him.

I would order Chinese for him…AND go to the store and grab two rotisserie chickens, Bob Evans mashed potatoes, and a bag of cranberries to boil in water with sugar. Basically, a Chinese feast with a nod to something remotely traditional-ish. Make a toast at the beginning that reminds everyone how lucky we are to be at a point in the pandemic where we can gather at all, and that being together is something to be grateful for.

OP, is it just the food that is an issue? Or is this his way of saying that he can't handle guests at all this year, he wants his home to himself?

Anonymous wrote:I bet you could buy sides at WF. Make stove top, steam green beans, buy rolls, a pie and some mashed potatoes. Done.

This. Why aren’t you filling in, OP? It’s rude to invite guests then disinvite or tell them that you’ve changed your mind. If it were just you all, fine. But flaking on guests? No.

This can be simple. Buy a rotisserie chicken from Costco/Wegmans, make mashed potatoes (or frozen French fries), salad, buy rolls and cranberry sauce, buy gravy at Whole Foods, and ask each parent to bring a veggie side, if needed. Or steam veggies. Buy pies.

You don’t need a turkey or much fuss. Kids can help. Ordering Chinese for GUESTS on Thanksgiving is poor form

Advice?

Stop hassling DH to cook. He’s fried. You seem to be hoping that we’ll give you a magical solution to get him to do it. Instead, we’re telling you that it’s only food and a chance to spend time together. Either you (and mom/mil/sis) do it, you get a pre-cooked turkey dinner or you go with Chinese. Or both. Is this a hill that you want to die on?

If your MIL already has the turkey, let her bring it. You and she can cook it. Anyone else bringing sides can still bring sides.

AND order Chinese for DH. Perfectly ok to have a meal of turkey, shrimp fried rice, and mu shu pork. In laws can just eat turkey if they want. But whatever you do, DO NOT bother DH with any issues relating to cooking the turkey.

--- Remembering the year I had a sudden and very stressful work trip come up the week of Thanksgiving. After inviting family to our house, I suddenly had to be out of town from Weds the week prior until Weds week of (day before Thanksgiving). And we had a toddler and a baby. My mom showed up and cooked the turkey, DH made mashed potatoes and pie, dad made a salad, sister and niece played with my kids all day, I got to sleep until noon, and we were all happy.

I’m with those who say pick up ready-made Thanksgiving food plus order Chinese. But you also need to figure out what’s going on with DH. I’ve hosted Thanksgiving for 20+ years for 16-20 people with all the traditional foods and more. It’s so much work. If I said on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving that I wanted to order takeout, DH and half the guests would push me to get treated for depression. Totally different scenario from announcing lack of interest in cooking a few weeks in advance because I felt overwhelmed. This seems like something to address promptly.