Anonymous
Post 11/21/2022 19:36     Subject: Re:Inconsiderate visiting family
Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that so many of you would not pick up your sibling and their family who are spending thousands to fly to see you at Thanksgiving. OP you are starting this out with a really crappy attitude. Your husband is fine. Why the heck are you interfering? Because you are worried he will be tired? Is he a total man child or are you overly controlling? It's very likely it just was NOT possible for them to come earlier and they are doing their best. Asking them to take a taxis is beyond inhospitable and unwelcoming. I would take it as a giant FU if I were them. Be prepared to either not have family visit for holidays or for you to be the one shelling out thousands for airfare if you want to see them in the future...


+1

Plus, they ASKED whether you could pick them up. They didn’t assume or demand. It’s perfectly normal to ask.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2022 19:31     Subject: Inconsiderate visiting family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DH's family is coming here for THanksgiving. His brother and his family (6 people total) are staying at our house. His brother's wife emailed us their flight itinerary and they arrive at DCA at 11:15pm Wednesday. She wrote only "Can you pick us up"? My DH does not want to confront her or his brother over this, but it is upsetting me that they are so inconsiderate. Now my DH will be exhausted on thanksgiving, plus they'll likely wake up the whole house when they arrive. I really want to text her "how about you take a taxi" but she'll probably take offense. This is in line with her pattern of inconsiderate behavior. What can I do?


OMG. If your husband is going to be "exhausted" by picking up his sister at 11:15 pm, then you have bigger problems than you know. Holy cow. Grow up.


Well to be fair, the DH has a pretty full day ahead of him on Thanksgiving being henpecked by OP.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2022 19:17     Subject: Inconsiderate visiting family
What do they do when you visit? Do they pick you up at the airport?
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2022 19:02     Subject: Inconsiderate visiting family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Won’t one of you have to stay up anyway to let them in?

In my years on DCUM, I’ve found this to be a big cultural difference. Where I grew up, people ALWAYS got rides from the airport. I don’t even remember there being a taxi stand at our local airport. But there is obviously a big contingent on DCUM that finds this to be a beyond the pale request, and I also know many DC natives who share that view.


Multi-genDC native.
We not only pick family up from the airports (even ugh IAD) but it's often assumed.
What time is your flight? Are you checking bag? Text me when you land and I’ll head out…
It’s a small way we let family know they are valued.


Huh, we do that too but I do expect to be consulted on the flight time. What if you are at work or something?
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2022 18:57     Subject: Inconsiderate visiting family
Anonymous wrote:Won’t one of you have to stay up anyway to let them in?

In my years on DCUM, I’ve found this to be a big cultural difference. Where I grew up, people ALWAYS got rides from the airport. I don’t even remember there being a taxi stand at our local airport. But there is obviously a big contingent on DCUM that finds this to be a beyond the pale request, and I also know many DC natives who share that view.


Multi-genDC native.
We not only pick family up from the airports (even ugh IAD) but it's often assumed.
What time is your flight? Are you checking bag? Text me when you land and I’ll head out…
It’s a small way we let family know they are valued.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2022 18:51     Subject: Inconsiderate visiting family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:They’re your husband’s family. He’s not on here complaining. You are. He can either pick them up or tell them he can’t. It’s up to him and has nothing to do with you. The complaint about the late arrival is petty AF btw.


Seriously. All of this.


This. If your husband, a brown man, chooses to pick them up what’s it to you? Unless he has a medical issue you’re not disclosing, if the airport truly is close to your home like you said he shouldn’t be exhausted from one night of picking his brother up at midnight. It’s kind of a peculiar thing to be stuck on.


*a grown man
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2022 18:51     Subject: Inconsiderate visiting family
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:They’re your husband’s family. He’s not on here complaining. You are. He can either pick them up or tell them he can’t. It’s up to him and has nothing to do with you. The complaint about the late arrival is petty AF btw.


Seriously. All of this.


This. If your husband, a brown man, chooses to pick them up what’s it to you? Unless he has a medical issue you’re not disclosing, if the airport truly is close to your home like you said he shouldn’t be exhausted from one night of picking his brother up at midnight. It’s kind of a peculiar thing to be stuck on.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2022 18:48     Subject: Inconsiderate visiting family
Anonymous wrote:They’re your husband’s family. He’s not on here complaining. You are. He can either pick them up or tell them he can’t. It’s up to him and has nothing to do with you. The complaint about the late arrival is petty AF btw.


Seriously. All of this.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2022 18:44     Subject: Inconsiderate visiting family
Anonymous wrote:Won’t one of you have to stay up anyway to let them in?

In my years on DCUM, I’ve found this to be a big cultural difference. Where I grew up, people ALWAYS got rides from the airport. I don’t even remember there being a taxi stand at our local airport. But there is obviously a big contingent on DCUM that finds this to be a beyond the pale request, and I also know many DC natives who share that view.


It’s a very different request from a small local airport in an area with no traffic and a large metro area.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2022 18:38     Subject: Re:Inconsiderate visiting family
I can't believe that so many of you would not pick up your sibling and their family who are spending thousands to fly to see you at Thanksgiving. OP you are starting this out with a really crappy attitude. Your husband is fine. Why the heck are you interfering? Because you are worried he will be tired? Is he a total man child or are you overly controlling? It's very likely it just was NOT possible for them to come earlier and they are doing their best. Asking them to take a taxis is beyond inhospitable and unwelcoming. I would take it as a giant FU if I were them. Be prepared to either not have family visit for holidays or for you to be the one shelling out thousands for airfare if you want to see them in the future...
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2022 18:36     Subject: Inconsiderate visiting family
They asked a question. You answer. You answer, "no", since that is your answer
If you want them to stay in a hotel, you tell them that
You use your words
That is what you teach your children to do, to use their words. And not be afraid to speak up for themselves, think for themselves, even when it's going against the crowd.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2022 18:34     Subject: Inconsiderate visiting family
Anonymous wrote:Won’t one of you have to stay up anyway to let them in?

In my years on DCUM, I’ve found this to be a big cultural difference. Where I grew up, people ALWAYS got rides from the airport. I don’t even remember there being a taxi stand at our local airport. But there is obviously a big contingent on DCUM that finds this to be a beyond the pale request, and I also know many DC natives who share that view.


When we are having guests visit we change the door code and give it to the guests to use to get into the house. Then they don't need a key. One of us does wait up for them to greet.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2022 18:32     Subject: Inconsiderate visiting family

If the driving is too great an imposition, which I can totally understand, say that the flight arrives too late and suggest Lyft/Uber. If she's mad, that's HER problem.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2022 18:29     Subject: Inconsiderate visiting family
Your problem is with yourself for not having a mouth and with your husband for not having a spine. We would just say "Sorry, we can't pick you up - the ride app area is on Level 4 SE" and let them work it out.
Anonymous
Post 11/21/2022 18:29     Subject: Inconsiderate visiting family
Won’t one of you have to stay up anyway to let them in?

In my years on DCUM, I’ve found this to be a big cultural difference. Where I grew up, people ALWAYS got rides from the airport. I don’t even remember there being a taxi stand at our local airport. But there is obviously a big contingent on DCUM that finds this to be a beyond the pale request, and I also know many DC natives who share that view.