Anonymous wrote:The key to all of this is that OP says he knows he won't get fired. Maybe he knows that the owner is cheating on his wife, or the property manager is embezzling money. So he can act like as big a jerk as he wants. OP's recourse is to move. Which she is doing. Some of the tenants are probably locked in with rent control handcuffs.

OP, if you are renting then you need to talk to the landlord and ask them to fix it or you won't pay rent. This situation is threatening and installing fear in you by attacking your appearence in front of your kids.

Disengage and don’t let him get to you. He’s looking for a reaction and attention. Just turn off the attention like you would to a child misbehaving.

Anonymous wrote:The key to all of this is that OP says he knows he won't get fired. Maybe he knows that the owner is cheating on his wife, or the property manager is embezzling money. So he can act like as big a jerk as he wants. OP's recourse is to move. Which she is doing. Some of the tenants are probably locked in with rent control handcuffs.

Op here. Yes, yes, yes. Many are miserable, but they can't afford to move elsewhere. Some apartments are upgraded, and others probably haven't been updated since the building was built in 1970. I have learned to deal with him. I need to see him several times a day during the week to get my packages. Some residents hate some of the doormen and take the stairs to avoid them. I refuse to do that. I don't want to allow someone to make me feel uncomfortable in my building, so I continue walking through the lobby.

Honestly, I'm shocked. I've lived in NYC for over 30 years. At worst, I've had doormen I've nodded to and they nod back, and at best we've exchanged hugs and recipes and flowers.

I can't imagine having this adversarial relationship with any of my doormen. Can I ask which neighborhood you're in?