Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH is saying he's not ready at 36 or older, after 4 years of marriage, I would be worried that he doesn't actually want kids.

Cold hard truth right here.

But this can be a wonderful thing.

My DH would have been happy with zero kids, or happy with 1-2. We ended up having one and it's good. But nowhere near the low-stress life we would have had with zero. Childless (some say child-free) life is fabulous, OP. Keep an open mind.

Except DH can change his mind at any time, divorce her and marry a younger women. She cannot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people younger than you aren’t allowed to gain more life experience and earned wisdom because they’re younger than you?

Yeah, you lost all sympathy with that premise. Lose the “Big Sister” schtick, OP. Not an attractive look on a woman pushing 40.

My sister is 45, married 17 years. No kids. Im due with my fourth this week. She hasnt reached out at all. Please dont let your relationship suffer like ours has.

Why would she reach out to you?

LOL. Well... when a family member tells you they are adding to the family it is general behavior to engage. But youre right! Put me in my place 😂

No one cares that you’re breeding for a fourth time. Really. We’re not celebrating the strain you’re putting on the environment, and you’re a total drag to hang out with. -NP

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people younger than you aren’t allowed to gain more life experience and earned wisdom because they’re younger than you?

Yeah, you lost all sympathy with that premise. Lose the “Big Sister” schtick, OP. Not an attractive look on a woman pushing 40.

My sister is 45, married 17 years. No kids. Im due with my fourth this week. She hasnt reached out at all. Please dont let your relationship suffer like ours has.

Why would she reach out to you?

LOL. Well... when a family member tells you they are adding to the family it is general behavior to engage. But youre right! Put me in my place 😂

NP I don't get it either...what did you want?

Hey you could always be me OP. Watching people get pregnant, being pregnant with them and losing 5 pregnancies later, still nothing. Fwiw I'm 37 and starting fertility treatments which are going to take probably another 6 months.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people younger than you aren’t allowed to gain more life experience and earned wisdom because they’re younger than you?

Yeah, you lost all sympathy with that premise. Lose the “Big Sister” schtick, OP. Not an attractive look on a woman pushing 40.

My sister is 45, married 17 years. No kids. Im due with my fourth this week. She hasnt reached out at all. Please dont let your relationship suffer like ours has.

Why would she reach out to you?

LOL. Well... when a family member tells you they are adding to the family it is general behavior to engage. But youre right! Put me in my place 😂

It's your 4 the kinda no big deal at this point.

Also I'm assuming she wanted kids and couldn't have you had an ounce of empathy towards her or do you just. Expect praise for your endless breeding?

OP, I hear you. Jealousy is normal - it shows us what we want but can't have. Acting up on jealousy is why gets people in trouble , but it does not seem like you take it out on your pregnant relatives. It also hard to depend on your DH's anxiety. Hugs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people younger than you aren’t allowed to gain more life experience and earned wisdom because they’re younger than you?

Yeah, you lost all sympathy with that premise. Lose the “Big Sister” schtick, OP. Not an attractive look on a woman pushing 40.

My sister is 45, married 17 years. No kids. Im due with my fourth this week. She hasnt reached out at all. Please dont let your relationship suffer like ours has.

Why would she reach out to you?

LOL. Well... when a family member tells you they are adding to the family it is general behavior to engage. But youre right! Put me in my place 😂

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people younger than you aren’t allowed to gain more life experience and earned wisdom because they’re younger than you?

Yeah, you lost all sympathy with that premise. Lose the “Big Sister” schtick, OP. Not an attractive look on a woman pushing 40.

My sister is 45, married 17 years. No kids. Im due with my fourth this week. She hasnt reached out at all. Please dont let your relationship suffer like ours has.

Why would she reach out to you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So people younger than you aren’t allowed to gain more life experience and earned wisdom because they’re younger than you?

Yeah, you lost all sympathy with that premise. Lose the “Big Sister” schtick, OP. Not an attractive look on a woman pushing 40.

This. You think it’s wrong and unfair that your younger family members will be able to give you advice on babies? How completely obnoxious.

I have to agree, this is the sentence that jumped out to me from the OP.

It's a truly obnoxious statement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH is saying he's not ready at 36 or older, after 4 years of marriage, I would be worried that he doesn't actually want kids.

Cold hard truth right here.

But this can be a wonderful thing.

My DH would have been happy with zero kids, or happy with 1-2. We ended up having one and it's good. But nowhere near the low-stress life we would have had with zero. Childless (some say child-free) life is fabulous, OP. Keep an open mind.

Gotta keep the man happy! Who cares what op wants.

Oh c'mon. I'd say the same if genders were reversed. People assume not having kids is this awful thing when precious few people critically examine their reasons for wanting kids and their expectations of parenthood. Life is often happier or at least easier without kids, and I say that as a generally happy mother. Studies back me up here.

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you please explain why you aren’t talking about your DH stopping condoms? (Why was he using condoms, anyway, while you were on BC?)

Obviously he was doing his part to ensure that there was not an unexpected pregnancy.

OP, I understand your jealousy. I think it’s not just about them being pregnant, and it’s okay to feel a little sad or frustrated about your DH not being on board.

We waited until the perfect time - but by then I was 40 and as much as I love being a mother, DD will be an only. I think the timing could have been less perfect, and we could have had more than 1, butt hats water under the bridge. If this is something you want with your DH, you have to get brave and pull the trigger sometime.

OP, can you please explain why you aren’t talking about your DH stopping condoms? (Why was he using condoms, anyway, while you were on BC?)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your DH is saying he's not ready at 36 or older, after 4 years of marriage, I would be worried that he doesn't actually want kids.

Cold hard truth right here.

But this can be a wonderful thing.

My DH would have been happy with zero kids, or happy with 1-2. We ended up having one and it's good. But nowhere near the low-stress life we would have had with zero. Childless (some say child-free) life is fabulous, OP. Keep an open mind.

Gotta keep the man happy! Who cares what op wants.

OP, you and DH not TTC *should* be a point of contention