The Money and Finances board never fails to disappoint in its hypocrisy. On some threads, under $200K is absolute poverty and people can't possibly get by. On threads like these where a poster that is (for this area) middle income posts about not saving enough or being in debt, they are clearly making enough money and should know better, and OH MY GOD they are so terrible and undisciplined for not having $1 million in investments.

OP, trying tracking expenses with YNAB. Money Mustache is a little helpful, but many of his recommendations are unrealistic for this area. Other than that, I don't have much advice. We are at a similar HHI and working to get out of debt.

I’m a nanny and was in your position. So far this year I’ve made $43k in addition to my regular job ($80k) by working evenings and weekends. I did the same last year and now I have 100k in savings. I’ve had no life for the past two years and have worked non stop, but now I don’t lay awake at night worrying about money. I made myself a nest egg and so can you.

At 48 we bought a house, started a 401k, bought health insurance through our jobs, and took out life insurance through our jobs on each other. Ten years later dh passed away. I was somewhat financially secure when he died due to the steps we took. We would have both been secure if we had reached retirement together. I remarried several years later and am financially secure now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've always made significantly less than you, OP, and yet own a home in a nice suburb of DC and have enough to pay for college and retirement. We lived extremely frugally when we were younger, however, and invested in stocks early on that have done well over the decades. You really must start reining in your spending and investing what you can, except that your time-frame will be much shorter.

+1

DH and I have always made way less than you as well. But, we’ve had the financial discipline to always take the high road and live within our means. We’re in our mid-40s and have $1.6M saved in our 401k, $750K saved in 529 plans for our three kids, a taxable brokerage account with $600K, and an online savings account with 36 months ($150K) of net living expenses for emergencies.

Maybe it’s time to stop spending so much of your money on buying the latest car and cell phone model every two years – take the bus like we do. Lose the cleaning service. Stop eating out and actually cook your food. Stop taking vacations – save that for when you’re in retirement.

I was with you until then. I mean yes, maybe in OP's case. But no vacations? Tomorrow/retirement isn't promised. You don't need to go to fancy places like DCUM and stay at the Ritz. But travel is important for families IMO.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean this in the nicest way possible..but how?

How can you be middle aged with only $5k saved? What is your HHI? Never too late to start making positive changes! Count your blessing too -- you are married and hopefully healthy.

HHI 160,000 ... I don't know. It is embarrassing to admit. No family money. College loans, short-sighted spending, not amazing incomes, pricy area?

OP, look into this budget app called You Need A Budget. Use it to help you track your spending, and get a budget in place. Once you feel in control with your cash flow, start looking for ways to make changes and start saving money in order to secure your financial future.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've always made significantly less than you, OP, and yet own a home in a nice suburb of DC and have enough to pay for college and retirement. We lived extremely frugally when we were younger, however, and invested in stocks early on that have done well over the decades. You really must start reining in your spending and investing what you can, except that your time-frame will be much shorter.

+1

DH and I have always made way less than you as well. But, we’ve had the financial discipline to always take the high road and live within our means. We’re in our mid-40s and have $1.6M saved in our 401k, $750K saved in 529 plans for our three kids, a taxable brokerage account with $600K, and an online savings account with 36 months ($150K) of net living expenses for emergencies.

Maybe it’s time to stop spending so much of your money on buying the latest car and cell phone model every two years – take the bus like we do. Lose the cleaning service. Stop eating out and actually cook your food. Stop taking vacations – save that for when you’re in retirement.

Horsesh!t. There is no way your numbers line up unless your are a crypto star. And you aren't. So gtfo.

WE MAKE SACRIFICES!! I know you can’t imagine what it must be like to not own a car, to grow your own vegetables, and to have five people sharing a single 400 sqft apartment, but this is precisely what we do. And, BTW, this is luxurious by Mumbai, Bangkok, and Siem Reap standards!! So many entitled and well heeled aristocrats in DMV operate with such an insufferable blind spot, it isn’t even funny.

I can’t wait to tell my southeast Asian immigrant MIL, who has lived in 2/3 cities you mentioned, that you think she thinks 400 sq ft is “luxurious.” She’s going to absolutely cackle. You are one nutty racist cow PP.

This was ridiculous enough I'm fairly certain it's sarcasm

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've always made significantly less than you, OP, and yet own a home in a nice suburb of DC and have enough to pay for college and retirement. We lived extremely frugally when we were younger, however, and invested in stocks early on that have done well over the decades. You really must start reining in your spending and investing what you can, except that your time-frame will be much shorter.

+1

DH and I have always made way less than you as well. But, we’ve had the financial discipline to always take the high road and live within our means. We’re in our mid-40s and have $1.6M saved in our 401k, $750K saved in 529 plans for our three kids, a taxable brokerage account with $600K, and an online savings account with 36 months ($150K) of net living expenses for emergencies.

Maybe it’s time to stop spending so much of your money on buying the latest car and cell phone model every two years – take the bus like we do. Lose the cleaning service. Stop eating out and actually cook your food. Stop taking vacations – save that for when you’re in retirement.

Horsesh!t. There is no way your numbers line up unless your are a crypto star. And you aren't. So gtfo.

WE MAKE SACRIFICES!! I know you can’t imagine what it must be like to not own a car, to grow your own vegetables, and to have five people sharing a single 400 sqft apartment, but this is precisely what we do. And, BTW, this is luxurious by Mumbai, Bangkok, and Siem Reap standards!! So many entitled and well heeled aristocrats in DMV operate with such an insufferable blind spot, it isn’t even funny.

I can’t wait to tell my southeast Asian immigrant MIL, who has lived in 2/3 cities you mentioned, that you think she thinks 400 sq ft is “luxurious.” She’s going to absolutely cackle. You are one nutty racist cow PP.