Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is some weird rags to riches story. You grew up MC had a wealthy grandmother and now you're rich and you're put out that MIL doesn't know you and yours are rich, rich, rich! So insecure about money for someone who supposedly has so much.

That’s a little unfair. I think OP was providing that info so we could see how the financial comments don’t make sense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its not about you. None of it is. She is bored and insecure and probably alienated people and has noone to talk to. Stop taking comments personally and atop sharing financial info. Talk to your DH about walking away and not leaving you alone with her so much. Could be your DHs childhood was the only time she felt valued and in the right place so shes super nostalgic about jt in an unhealthy way.

I disagree. All of it is. Every single thing in that long post was about OP -- except not showing up when schedules. How did that get lost in all that other trivial? You don't like her. That doesn't make what she's doing wrong (except for her not showing up when you've scheduled her to be there.) It just means you don't like her and you're not a very charitable person. I hope your MIL wises up and stops sharing her feelings with you. That's her only crime -- thinking you give a shit.

Anonymous wrote:Its not about you. None of it is. She is bored and insecure and probably alienated people and has noone to talk to. Stop taking comments personally and atop sharing financial info. Talk to your DH about walking away and not leaving you alone with her so much. Could be your DHs childhood was the only time she felt valued and in the right place so shes super nostalgic about jt in an unhealthy way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Oh we have care arranged already." Or say you have plans already. Or explain you were worried she would not remember or mistake the time again.

When she makes low income comments about your parents, "Have you forgotten they are millionaires?"

No to the bolded - that's a gross thing to say. Don't sink to her level. Just say "They're doing just fine, thanks."

OP here. This is what I do. I don't get into it, since it seems catty to respond. She actually asked point-blank a few years ago (right after it happened) how much my parents were going to inherit from my grandmother and my husband reprimanded her immediately, but she kept asking, and she had made so many comments about my parents' finances I told her it was a significant amount (no value), and yet she still makes these comments.

I am a little bit defensive in general about finances. My dad created a separate life from his wealthy family long ago, since he didn't want to be a cog in the family business and do the whole corporate life. I grew up with very humble means in, like I said, a VERY low-income but beautiful town. I have worked for everything I have, even paid for college myself, and while my husband comes from wealth he has not accepted anything from his family and is stubborn to a fault about it. I used to hold a significant amount of anxiety about finances. We knew my grandmother was wealthy, but I had no idea to what scale. Hearing my MIL make all these comments about DH and his sister attending a very wealthy, exclusive private school in DC and "how you just wouldn't necessarily understand the dynamic" just makes me really upset. She acts like I pulled myself up from my bootstraps. My parents both worked professional, middle class jobs. As someone who until the last few years didn't realize how much wealth we'd be coming into, and I'm not quite sure my parents did either, I feel like I still have a huge chip on my shoulder.

Most of this is about you and your own insecurities. What happens when your son marries an annoying woman? Cycle will continue. Keep up with therapy. Respond to her texts with a thumbs up or heart. Let your husband deal with all planning.

Anonymous wrote:This is some weird rags to riches story. You grew up MC had a wealthy grandmother and now you're rich and you're put out that MIL doesn't know you and yours are rich, rich, rich! So insecure about money for someone who supposedly has so much.

Anonymous wrote:I think you can let it irritate you, or you can just embrace how absolutely comical and over the top she is and laugh about it. Do you have a close friend or two you could share these stories with? A friend of mine has a loon for a MIL and she will text me these ridiculous stories about her and we just laugh. Think of it as comedic relief. I mean what the hell is “Golden Leaves, Golden Memories” supposed to mean?

Anonymous wrote:This is the woman who raised your husband and who did an awesome job at it. You know this because you married him. You need to realize that your dislike of her comes from your own feeling of inferiority and concern that you won't be able to live up to the high standard she set. Keep working on this in therapy. And try to find the good in her. Every time a hateful thought about her comes into your head, tell yourself that your husband is the wonderful man he is because of her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Oh we have care arranged already." Or say you have plans already. Or explain you were worried she would not remember or mistake the time again.

When she makes low income comments about your parents, "Have you forgotten they are millionaires?"

No to the bolded - that's a gross thing to say. Don't sink to her level. Just say "They're doing just fine, thanks."

OP here. This is what I do. I don't get into it, since it seems catty to respond. She actually asked point-blank a few years ago (right after it happened) how much my parents were going to inherit from my grandmother and my husband reprimanded her immediately, but she kept asking, and she had made so many comments about my parents' finances I told her it was a significant amount (no value), and yet she still makes these comments.

I am a little bit defensive in general about finances. My dad created a separate life from his wealthy family long ago, since he didn't want to be a cog in the family business and do the whole corporate life. I grew up with very humble means in, like I said, a VERY low-income but beautiful town. I have worked for everything I have, even paid for college myself, and while my husband comes from wealth he has not accepted anything from his family and is stubborn to a fault about it. I used to hold a significant amount of anxiety about finances. We knew my grandmother was wealthy, but I had no idea to what scale. Hearing my MIL make all these comments about DH and his sister attending a very wealthy, exclusive private school in DC and "how you just wouldn't necessarily understand the dynamic" just makes me really upset. She acts like I pulled myself up from my bootstraps. My parents both worked professional, middle class jobs. As someone who until the last few years didn't realize how much wealth we'd be coming into, and I'm not quite sure my parents did either, I feel like I still have a huge chip on my shoulder.

Op I’m sorry to say because I know this might hurt to hear but this seems way more about you than her. Like you said you have some big hang ups about money and while I don’t think her questions about your parents finances are appropriate you have got to just let go of her idiosyncrasies and try to love her as your mil. She’s not mean hearted or cruel, so you’ve got to figure out how to see her as your family and not an inconvenience so that her idiosyncrasies seem funny instead of so grating. It sounds like you are taking small comments she likely doesn’t mean in any sort of way, wayyyy too personally and then doubling down on that.