Many years ago, I went to a state school. I went home every Sunday night for dinner, did laundry and to check in my father who was having health problems. The rest of the week I was studying, partying etc. It was very important to me and him that we saw each other. It didn't mean I didn't thoroughly enjoy my college experience, it meant that I wanted to continue a relationship with my father. When he passed away not too long after I graduated college - all I could think about was how glad I was to took time out of my college live to spend with my parents. Live is short.

The people I worry about are the ones who shriek 'nooooooo, you can't ever go home, that means you're weak or not independent.' Your kid sounds great, OP. You should be patting yourself on the back that he wants to come home to visit and check in, and then he goes back to school. He sounds great!

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fine. It's nice, even. I would have liked to have an escape from college for a few hours on the weekends. The weekends could be pretty quiet, even boring during the day. Long stretches in the library, many students asleep till afternoon.

It's hard to see how coming to see you would make him less of an "independent adult."

+1 This is my take as well. Enjoy the fact that your son likes to come visit you. He obviously feels comfortable with coming home...and then leaving. To me, that makes him more independent, not less.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like he is still adjusting and maybe hasn't totally found his people yet. As long as he is doing ok, I wouldn't worry.

Going home on Sundays to do laundry and visit and feel cared for and relaxed for a few hours does not mean any of the above. It sounds perfect actually. Sundays on college campuses are sort of lame/Sunday scaries anyway.

+1
And people can sleep in and be very hung over. Maybe your son isn’t in to that scene and just has things he can do on Sunday. It sounds balanced and healthy to me. I can understand your worry but this seems in the range of just healthy and balanced.

Sounds perfectly normal to me. My child is a full days drive away and hasn’t been home but lives near extended family. They’ve gone over to visit and do homework, play with their Aunt and Uncles pets, and get a hug. They are enjoying school but said sometimes it’s nice to see family now that they live so close. I appreciate that they value family.

My freshman son’s Latino friends at college go home for the weekends, some to participate in church services. His latino roommate hung a crucifix at the head of his bed. I liked that he felt free enough to do that. I asked my son if he wanted to come home for the weekend. He said he wanted to get “accumulated.” I said, “you mean acclimated.” That’s an engineering major for you. He does not read enough.

Anonymous wrote:Part of learning to be an adult is nurturing your relationships with your parents and siblings when you no longer live in the same house and can take it for granted.
He sounds like he is doing fine! A few hours on Sunday away from college may help keep him grounded.

So true and well-said. Sounds wonderful OP!

One of my DDs friends goes to UMD and lives about 40 minutes away. She comes home frequently to visit her parents and she participates in a sport outside of college that she does at home too. She's a perfectly well adjusted, independent kid. Not the college experience i'd ask for for my DD but it is working for her just fine.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your son is adjusting well and has built in a routine. Congrats OP and enjoy the 3 hours you get!

+ 1

OP, are there any other reasons why you might have concerns about your son becoming independent?

Otherwise, it sounds pretty ideal, so continue nurturing the relationship with your son and pat yourself on the back!