Anonymous
Post 10/12/2022 18:11     Subject: Re:Guy takes forever to respond to texts
Anonymous wrote:Could be married. Could be an introvert. Could be not into you. Could be anti-heavy communication. Could be tired from work.

Regardless, you are looking for more from this person than they want to give. What you're looking for is in the realm of normal. All of the above excuses, while some are reasonable, are never going to change. He'll always either: be married, be an introvert, be not into you, be anti-heavy communication, be tired from work. If that doesn't work for you, move on.


I agree with all these possibilities. I'm an introvert guy and do not like texting all day about nothing in particular. If there is an objective to the texting such as making plans, then okay. Some people don't have phones on them all day and check it every 10 minutes. The phone companies and apps want you to do that, it is an addiction. The OP didn't specify if the guy has a phone on him all day.
Anonymous
Post 10/10/2022 13:50     Subject: Re:Guy takes forever to respond to texts
I think if you have expressed the way it makes you feel when he takes a long time to respond- and he still does it- it's time to move on. It's not so much about the texting at this point as it is the fact he is continuing to do something that doesn't make you feel good.
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2022 17:39     Subject: Guy takes forever to respond to texts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Been dating a guy for a couple of months. One of my pet peeves is that he takes forever to respond to text sometimes. He says it’s because he is destressing from work and unplugs sometimes. I find it very irritating and have expressed that. He is not married so please no one suggest that. He could be seeing someone else, though volunteered on his own that he’s not. Some people lie, who knows? Outside of this issue we get along very well and are very attracted to each other. We both want sex! But I’m hesistant because the idea that it takes him 24 hours to reply to some texts turns me off. Am I being reasonable?


LOL. First, anyone (man or woman) who is really into another person will ALWAYS - ALWAYS - ALWAYS - make time to text/call/contact you. It does not take a day to respond. That's BS because everyone knows everyone has their phone on their person almost 24/7. Please. In the bathroom? Checks phone. In car waiting at light? Checks phone. At work or home? Checks phone. In bed? Checks phone. Come on.

He's just not into you. That's it. Any man who is into a woman will be LOOKING FOR MESSAGE from that woman. To be candid, you're likely a possible side action so he's keeping you around. He's probably trying to date someone else. Since he knows you like him it makes sense for him to keep you around for potential sex and company.


Unfortunately, I think this is my take as well. My husband and I started dating in the late 90's so before texting. But when we started dating, he would drop everything to talk to me. A couple times I called him rather late at night and he would pretend he wasn't just woken up from a deep sleep and was happy to talk to me. The mode of communication changes, but if somebody is into you, they want to communicate and will find a way.
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2022 16:19     Subject: Guy takes forever to respond to texts
Anonymous wrote:Been dating a guy for a couple of months. One of my pet peeves is that he takes forever to respond to text sometimes. He says it’s because he is destressing from work and unplugs sometimes. I find it very irritating and have expressed that. He is not married so please no one suggest that. He could be seeing someone else, though volunteered on his own that he’s not. Some people lie, who knows? Outside of this issue we get along very well and are very attracted to each other. We both want sex! But I’m hesistant because the idea that it takes him 24 hours to reply to some texts turns me off. Am I being reasonable?


LOL. First, anyone (man or woman) who is really into another person will ALWAYS - ALWAYS - ALWAYS - make time to text/call/contact you. It does not take a day to respond. That's BS because everyone knows everyone has their phone on their person almost 24/7. Please. In the bathroom? Checks phone. In car waiting at light? Checks phone. At work or home? Checks phone. In bed? Checks phone. Come on.

He's just not into you. That's it. Any man who is into a woman will be LOOKING FOR MESSAGE from that woman. To be candid, you're likely a possible side action so he's keeping you around. He's probably trying to date someone else. Since he knows you like him it makes sense for him to keep you around for potential sex and company.
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2022 07:59     Subject: Guy takes forever to respond to texts
And even someone who doesn’t text often - if you are excited about this new person you’re dating, you would respond. You would adjust because connecting with them makes you happpy. He’s not that into you, sorry.
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2022 07:54     Subject: Guy takes forever to respond to texts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most men hate texting. If everything else is good, why make this an issue? You sound needy.


Nope. This guy is sending mixed signals on purpose and OP is correct in ending it now.


+1 Plus two people either merge into a couple which includes daily communication or they just don't work out. Phone calls, texts, or seeing each other more frequently would be fine. It sounds like they're not getting past the beginning phase of going out a couple times per week.
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2022 07:10     Subject: Guy takes forever to respond to texts
Anonymous wrote:Most men hate texting. If everything else is good, why make this an issue? You sound needy.


Nope. This guy is sending mixed signals on purpose and OP is correct in ending it now.
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2022 06:16     Subject: Guy takes forever to respond to texts
Most men hate texting. If everything else is good, why make this an issue? You sound needy.
Anonymous
Post 10/08/2022 22:59     Subject: Guy takes forever to respond to texts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What is intimate about texting?
Some of us are not codependent with our partners.


Let me guess - you're not married?


Married 20 years, with kids. I detest texting.
Anonymous
Post 10/08/2022 14:42     Subject: Re:Guy takes forever to respond to texts
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m just gonna call it quits. It’s a weird dynamic where he puts forth a ton of effort for extravagant dates twice a week, is very engaged when we are together, then just seems lackluster in between the dates. I’m not even a huge texted and hate to talk in the phone, but at 2 months I kinda expect a daily light check in.


Aka lovebombing. Dudes lovebomb because they want to keep you on the hook. Could be married. Could be dating others. Could be seeing how far he can push your buttons.

Regardless, he is not a fit for you. Please release this fish back to the pond.
Anonymous
Post 10/08/2022 13:49     Subject: Re:Guy takes forever to respond to texts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m just gonna call it quits. It’s a weird dynamic where he puts forth a ton of effort for extravagant dates twice a week, is very engaged when we are together, then just seems lackluster in between the dates. I’m not even a huge texted and hate to talk in the phone, but at 2 months I kinda expect a daily light check in.


What are you texting him about? If it is a gif or meme, then it doesn't seem to merit much of a response.

It doesn't sound like he's disinterested, just that you have different communication styles and expectations.


Agree. If you are already going out on two great dates per week, I think expecting him to communicate with you daily is expecting too much. You’ve been dating two months. Especially if are expecting him to respond to nothing in particular like a “good morning” or another one liner or meme
Anonymous
Post 10/08/2022 13:47     Subject: Guy takes forever to respond to texts
Anonymous wrote:Why don't you call him? A lot of people aren't into texting.


People that aren’t into texting aren’t into answering their phone either. Unless they don’t text bc they are old
Anonymous
Post 10/08/2022 10:43     Subject: Re:Guy takes forever to respond to texts
Match his level of communication. That will tell you everything you need to know. Do not initiate communication. If someone wants to see you or be with you, they will make the effort. That goes for dating and friends.