Anonymous wrote:OP, can you casually accompany her to the hair salon and comment on a magazine with various hair styles?

Am I the only one who would be way more annoyed with passive aggressive moves like this one than knowing my husband wasn't a fan of my haircut? I really dislike it when DH doesn't like something I'm doing but will beat around the bush so that he has plausible deniability, rather than just saying what he thinks. I want to know where I stand rather than having to wonder.

I know DH doesn't like how I do my hair. He would rather I have short, straight hair, but my hair is long and curly. I too would rather it be straight but I'm stuck with curly hair, and I think it looks abysmal if it's short. And I don't mind that he doesn't think my hairstyle is ideal! But I would mind if I could sense that there was something he didn't like about it, but he pretended that there wasn't so that I wondered if it was all in my head.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:America has a bizarre cult of long hair. Lots of women in Europe (at least in Nordic and West Europe) have short hair, and different styles. Here it's all the same. And there are weird stereotypes that surround it too.

Yes but a lot of them are tall and thin. The average American woman is not Charlize Theron. Short hair on a short chubby woman doesn't look great.

Long unkempt hair look awful on any women, even on beauties! I see sometimes women in their 40-50s with extremely long hair (they probably thin it makes them look like Kim Kardashian). The hair is grey, no style at all and honestly they just look like witches. Andie McDowell style is nothing glamorous to me, makes her look much older!

I wear my hair shoulder length and even this long it takes a lot of care. Daily hair blower, vitamins, coloring etc.

OP, can you casually accompany her to the hair salon and comment on a magazine with various hair styles?

Anonymous wrote:America has a bizarre cult of long hair. Lots of women in Europe (at least in Nordic and West Europe) have short hair, and different styles. Here it's all the same. And there are weird stereotypes that surround it too.

Who are some Europeans with short hair and different styles?

OP, you need to find a few pics of cuts that you think she would look good with and then recommend them casually. Do not criticize her current hair but say something like, that would look great on you, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:America has a bizarre cult of long hair. Lots of women in Europe (at least in Nordic and West Europe) have short hair, and different styles. Here it's all the same. And there are weird stereotypes that surround it too.

Yes but a lot of them are tall and thin. The average American woman is not Charlize Theron. Short hair on a short chubby woman doesn't look great.

Oh come on, that's not it. It's associated with femininity in white American culture. People criticize thin women with short hair too.

I think as long as you understand she is under no obligation to change her hairstyle for you, and she understands that you find her lovely and beautiful no matter what, having a casual talk with her is fine.

Just don't make the tone like an intervention. It's not a big deal unless you make it one.

I mean, you're married, you should be comfortable talking to each other. My H tells me when I get too thin and I told him before that I don't like it when he shaves his head.

Anonymous wrote:Can someone explain to me what a Call the manager hairstyle looks like?

I'm envisioning Kate Gosselin.

just tell her "I don't like your haircut"

and, yes it is your wife's haircut is your business because you are married to her. I'm sure she has made statements about your clothes, behavior, etc. during your marriage and that clearly demonstrates that a partners choices are the business of the other partner.

Anonymous wrote:America has a bizarre cult of long hair. Lots of women in Europe (at least in Nordic and West Europe) have short hair, and different styles. Here it's all the same. And there are weird stereotypes that surround it too.

Yes but a lot of them are tall and thin. The average American woman is not Charlize Theron. Short hair on a short chubby woman doesn't look great.

Can someone explain to me what a Call the manager hairstyle looks like?

OP, since you state hair style as a preference only, we shouldn't be too hard on you. Ahead of you, if you have a successful marriage, will demand substantial adjustments on heart wrenching topics, life and death stuff. True challenges.

America has a bizarre cult of long hair. Lots of women in Europe (at least in Nordic and West Europe) have short hair, and different styles. Here it's all the same. And there are weird stereotypes that surround it too.

I had really short hair when i met DH. I loved it and he obviously didn't object because he pursued me pretty persistently.

He eventually told me he prefers long hair, so now I wear it long and it's a pain to take care of, but I love him, so it's worth it.

If you can't talk about this in your relationship, I'd worry a bit about the quality of your communication skills. This should not be such a big deal. If I really hated my long hair, I'd tell DH, "look, I hear you, but it's just not practical/doesn't work for me/I prefer it short," or whatever. Neither of you should be afraid to state your preferences, knowing that they may or may not be accommodated, depending on other factors.