Anonymous wrote:I strongly prefer Ms Firstname when they are younger and as they are older Mrs Lastname. That is what I teach my kids. I don’t want kids calling me by my first name. I think it sends a weird message that we are buddies hanging out and we’re not. Same as calling teachers Mrs or Lastname.

I would never make a scene about it though. My kid would probably just refrain from using your name if you insisted on first name.

It reminds me of when my MIL said I should call her mom. For those of you saying you should call a person what they want to be called. That felt deeply uncomfortable to me. I have a mom and it’s not you.

I went to a private school where we called all teachers and staff by first name. It didn’t make us think we were buddies hanging out, we still had tons of respect for them, and all was copacetic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're all first name here. If a parent said that line about respect to me I would respond "the most respectful thing is to call someone what they want to be called. And I'd like to be called Sara."

I’d still tell my kid to call you Ms. So and So, which he/she would.

Then YOU are impolite and have terrible manners.

Growing up I always, always called adults Mr./Mrs./Ms./Miss Lastname unless they were a very close family friend and I had permission to use their first name. That was the same throughout our social circle. There were a few outsiders I knew of whose parents insisted on first names and it seemed like they were trying too hard to be buddy-buddy with the kids. Looking back, I laugh at how formal we were! I still live in my hometown and Ms. firstname is by far the most common, but occasionally kids will call me Mrs. lastname, just my first name, whatever is comfortable. I'm not picky. I teach my kids to ask adults what they want to be called, but default to Mrs. Lastname initially.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow my kids to call adults by their first name. Please don’t try to override the parents on this.

Please teach your kids to be polite by calling people what they want to be called. Even if that’s their first name.

This. My kids are flexible and address adults as they wish to be addressed.

The kids have to be flexible but the parents don’t and can rigidly insist on being called what they want to be called? That’s weird.

I strongly prefer Ms Firstname when they are younger and as they are older Mrs Lastname. That is what I teach my kids. I don’t want kids calling me by my first name. I think it sends a weird message that we are buddies hanging out and we’re not. Same as calling teachers Mrs or Lastname.

I would never make a scene about it though. My kid would probably just refrain from using your name if you insisted on first name.

It reminds me of when my MIL said I should call her mom. For those of you saying you should call a person what they want to be called. That felt deeply uncomfortable to me. I have a mom and it’s not you.

Never knew that this would be such an issue.

OP, why are you getting your undies in a bunch and over thinking this? You're so rigid that you can't help but feel awkward due to another family's preferred way of addressing adults being used? Whew. I hope you buckle up because you are in for a ride for the rest of parenting if something as small as this gets your feathers ruffled. It's really no big deal. Let it go. Your preference doesn't have to be their preference and vice versa. As long as it's not disrespectful or unkind, move on.

I have a neighbor who doesn't like it when kids call her by her first name. No problem, we teach our kids to call adults by mr. or ms. first name unless told otherwise. But then the same woman does not say a word when her child calls me by my first name.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow my kids to call adults by their first name. Please don’t try to override the parents on this.

Please teach your kids to be polite by calling people what they want to be called. Even if that’s their first name.

This. My kids are flexible and address adults as they wish to be addressed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow my kids to call adults by their first name. Please don’t try to override the parents on this.

Please teach your kids to be polite by calling people what they want to be called. Even if that’s their first name.

No thanks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would noted child raising expert Dr. Benjamin Spock say about this?
True story: as a child, in the early 1940s, I lived next door to Dr. Spock and his family. Their children called them both by their first names. "Bengie" for him as I recall.

Are you new here? If not, how come you have held on to this for so long. You should start every response in a parenting thread with, “Having grown up next door to Dr. Spock, I think . . .”

Love this

Anonymous wrote:We're all first name here. If a parent said that line about respect to me I would respond "the most respectful thing is to call someone what they want to be called. And I'd like to be called Sara."

I’d still tell my kid to call you Ms. So and So, which he/she would.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow my kids to call adults by their first name. Please don’t try to override the parents on this.

Please teach your kids to be polite by calling people what they want to be called. Even if that’s their first name.

Da troof and nothing but the Troof

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow my kids to call adults by their first name. Please don’t try to override the parents on this.

Please teach your kids to be polite by calling people what they want to be called. Even if that’s their first name.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow my kids to call adults by their first name. Please don’t try to override the parents on this.

+1000

This.

My kids were taught to politely say no thank you to the offer of first name use, and stick to Mrs LastName. I did not allow anyone's child to call me by my first name. Kids are adaptable that way. I also really hate the Mrs FirstName--and in my case my last name is much easier for young kids to say than my first name anyway.