Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL--you are annoyed that men do not behave like women by creating playgroups and doing activities together with their kids?

You need to find something new to focus on. This is not worth your time.

It’s actually just behaving AS A PARENT. I schedule social time away from my kids (I’m a mom). But I also socialize a lot with my children.

When my kids were younger I socialized a lot with other moms and their kids. DH was more likely to spend time with them that was not social. In my experience, moms prefer to get together with their kids more than dads do. It is not required that you have play dates to be a parent. I think OP needs to find a new issue. Marriage and raining kids is hard enough without picking fights. My kids are teens now and I wish I had accepted that earlier.

Yes. DH here. I love taking my kids to playgrounds and stuff, but it doesn't really add to it for me if other parents are around. I'm not antisocial but I definitely don't prefer to have other parents to chat with the way my DW does.

Op here. This is fair. Dh does take the kids out. He never tries to meet with another parent or kid. Sometimes I will suggest taking an extra kid or will have a kid over when I’m not and Dh just prefers not. He doesn’t want to host a play date or take another kid on an outing. Basically he doesn’t want to meet his friends with his friend’s kids. He does not want to host a play date. He does not want to take other kids along with ours on an outing. He does enjoy spending time with just our kids.

Yeah, find another hill to die on. This is not it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL--you are annoyed that men do not behave like women by creating playgroups and doing activities together with their kids?

You need to find something new to focus on. This is not worth your time.

It’s actually just behaving AS A PARENT. I schedule social time away from my kids (I’m a mom). But I also socialize a lot with my children.

When my kids were younger I socialized a lot with other moms and their kids. DH was more likely to spend time with them that was not social. In my experience, moms prefer to get together with their kids more than dads do. It is not required that you have play dates to be a parent. I think OP needs to find a new issue. Marriage and raining kids is hard enough without picking fights. My kids are teens now and I wish I had accepted that earlier.

Yes. DH here. I love taking my kids to playgrounds and stuff, but it doesn't really add to it for me if other parents are around. I'm not antisocial but I definitely don't prefer to have other parents to chat with the way my DW does.

Op here. This is fair. Dh does take the kids out. He never tries to meet with another parent or kid. Sometimes I will suggest taking an extra kid or will have a kid over when I’m not and Dh just prefers not. He doesn’t want to host a play date or take another kid on an outing. Basically he doesn’t want to meet his friends with his friend’s kids. He does not want to host a play date. He does not want to take other kids along with ours on an outing. He does enjoy spending time with just our kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL--you are annoyed that men do not behave like women by creating playgroups and doing activities together with their kids?

You need to find something new to focus on. This is not worth your time.

It’s actually just behaving AS A PARENT. I schedule social time away from my kids (I’m a mom). But I also socialize a lot with my children.

When my kids were younger I socialized a lot with other moms and their kids. DH was more likely to spend time with them that was not social. In my experience, moms prefer to get together with their kids more than dads do. It is not required that you have play dates to be a parent. I think OP needs to find a new issue. Marriage and raining kids is hard enough without picking fights. My kids are teens now and I wish I had accepted that earlier.

Yes. DH here. I love taking my kids to playgrounds and stuff, but it doesn't really add to it for me if other parents are around. I'm not antisocial but I definitely don't prefer to have other parents to chat with the way my DW does.

A dad here. There's some mix-up in this thread about being an "involved" dad and what OP is actually asking about, planning play dates and dad-and-kid outings.

I'm a very "involved" dad. I handle 90% of our pediatrician appointments, I volunteer at our kids' school and DW doesn't, I do plenty of solo outings with my kids on the weekends, etc.

But I have never proposed or been asked by another dad--with the exception of my brother and my best friend--to do some kind of play date. Why? Combination of learned helplessness on the part of most dads (if mom "always" plans the play dates, then dad never sees it as his job), and the descriptions upthread about very real perceptions that it's weird or dangerous for men to want to spend time with kids.

Not when they were little, but now that they are older my DH and other dads often make plans to take kids to a sporting event (we have one girl and one boy and it happens with both.)

^^*raising kids

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL--you are annoyed that men do not behave like women by creating playgroups and doing activities together with their kids?

You need to find something new to focus on. This is not worth your time.

It’s actually just behaving AS A PARENT. I schedule social time away from my kids (I’m a mom). But I also socialize a lot with my children.

When my kids were younger I socialized a lot with other moms and their kids. DH was more likely to spend time with them that was not social. In my experience, moms prefer to get together with their kids more than dads do. It is not required that you have play dates to be a parent. I think OP needs to find a new issue. Marriage and raining kids is hard enough without picking fights. My kids are teens now and I wish I had accepted that earlier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. I meet up with other dads for drinks/etc. Never with kids. We schedule them at a time when that's easy to do, like 9pm once the kids are in bed.

Why can’t you dads ever take the kids out to laser tag or plan a camping trip or something? Start with something easy like going to the movies. I think it’s really odd when dads don’t take initiative with their kids. My DH and his friends take the kids camping every year while the moms get a night out.

Many women I know do not want a strange man with their kids. They think it is weird if a dad plans outing, play dates or shows interest in kids. I know one mom who will not let their kids in car pool if a dad is driving. The DH taking the kids camping…these mothers would think the DH was a pedophile. Seriously this is really common.

So these women basically won’t ever let their kids hang out with the kids of gay dads, widowed dads, divorced dads with custody, dads with wives who are deployed, etc.? And how old are these women to think a dad showing interest in kids isn’t normal? These must be late 50+ year old moms because dads today are very involved. I almost always see some kids with their dad in the pediatrician waiting room. Dads coaching their kids’ sports teams. The work at home dads coming to school pickup.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. I meet up with other dads for drinks/etc. Never with kids. We schedule them at a time when that's easy to do, like 9pm once the kids are in bed.

Why can’t you dads ever take the kids out to laser tag or plan a camping trip or something? Start with something easy like going to the movies. I think it’s really odd when dads don’t take initiative with their kids. My DH and his friends take the kids camping every year while the moms get a night out.

Many women I know do not want a strange man with their kids. They think it is weird if a dad plans outing, play dates or shows interest in kids. I know one mom who will not let their kids in car pool if a dad is driving. The DH taking the kids camping…these mothers would think the DH was a pedophile. Seriously this is really common.

You need new friends. This is not normal.

The first time I heard it I thought it was crazy but if one mom believes it and is vocal about it it spreads. Pretty quickly it gets picked up by other moms and you know.