Anonymous
09/06/2022 20:35
Subject: Re:birthday party with embarrassing (too young) theme?
Immediate pp here. Ok so that’s not really what I meant. What I meant is that I think you are personally embarrassed, more than looking out for your kid, and that you want to shame him not to do something you are embarrassed by. I may be wrong but I’ve been there and know the impulse can be strong. Do not give in to this impulse. It’s wrong, and deep down you know it. Go light on the theme if you think best for your son, but remember that your child looks to YOU for assurance and support. Be that assurance and support. For me it was an unexpectedly hard part of the parenting job but has made a huge difference, I believe, for my kids.
Anonymous
09/06/2022 20:29
Subject: Re:birthday party with embarrassing (too young) theme?
I think this really depends on the kid. In my experience there is a certain kind of confident goofy kid who can totally get away with this. My kid had a friend who got really into Elmo in 4th or 5th grade and because he was the cool kid, suddenly all the kids were suddenly declaring allegiance to various muppets.
My younger kid is similar, and kids will come over and he’ll suggest something really young and the group will get all nostalgic and I will have middle school kids playing brio trains or something.
On the other hand, a socially awkward kid might read the room wrong and it could go bad.
I’d have a conversation, why Paw Patrol, how does he think his friends will react, etc . . . And decide together.
My younger kid is similar, and kids will come over and he’ll suggest something really young and the group will get all nostalgic and I will have middle school kids playing brio trains or something.
On the other hand, a socially awkward kid might read the room wrong and it could go bad.
I’d have a conversation, why Paw Patrol, how does he think his friends will react, etc . . . And decide together.
Anonymous
09/06/2022 20:26
Subject: Re:birthday party with embarrassing (too young) theme?
Anonymous wrote:Were kids to say negative things about the theme, that would be chiding, criticizing, making fun of, etc.
It would NOT be “bullying.” Overuse of that word undermines its specific and significant meaning. And drives me crazy.
Me, too. My kid got in one spat with a kid and got accused of “bullying” a kid who he had so little interaction with he didn’t even know his name and who was an equal sparring partner. Note that the school handled it well, and did not call it bullying but a relative did. Like he was on the start of a lifelong crime-spree.
Anonymous
09/06/2022 20:22
Subject: Re:birthday party with embarrassing (too young) theme?
I’m the parent of two teens, including a 17 year old boy. I can’t tell you the number of times I decided to bite my tongue because he was doing things that I thought would wind up getting him bullied. And, frankly, he always my right and I was the one with the problem. He’s a self-assured young adult who trusts his judgment, chooses friends well, and is not particularly interested in what others think of his tastes. It’s sort of irrelevant, but he’s also very popular at school. Lots of people to hang out and do stuff with and an unusually high number of close friends from different social groups. And he knows that I alway, always have his back.
Anonymous
09/06/2022 20:21
Subject: birthday party with embarrassing (too young) theme?
Anonymous wrote:Maybe Paw Patrol is something he jokes with his friends about. My DD and her classmates last year (4th grade) had running jokes about Peppa Pig even though none of them had watched the show in years.
+1
My older kids also got into Peppa pig, Shrek, etc more as memes. One of my junior high kids even brought young themed cupcakes to school as a joke
Anonymous
09/06/2022 20:12
Subject: birthday party with embarrassing (too young) theme?
I would allow it but just be more general. Red and blue balloons and tablecloths and like a paw print-covered cake. Maybe some paw patrol napkins mixed in.
Anonymous
09/06/2022 20:08
Subject: birthday party with embarrassing (too young) theme?
Anonymous wrote:I'm not CERTAIN. I just know I had a hard time with social expectations when I was a kid, and was bullied mercilessly for not fitting in. Obviously he'll deal with some of that, but I'd rather not let him walk directly into it when I can stop it.
You need to stop being terrified for your kid based on your past experiences. I can totally see saying “hey, some kids might think this is for younger kids. Are you cool if they make fun of the theme? Or do you want to pick something else?”
If the still wants the theme, let him have it. If he seems less sure, suggest a couple of back up plans.
But you are really seem to be having an emotional reaction to something purely hypothetical.
Anonymous
09/06/2022 19:56
Subject: birthday party with embarrassing (too young) theme?
I think you're right to say no. I am glad looking back that my mom stopped me from doing some stupid stuff.
Anonymous
09/06/2022 17:16
Subject: birthday party with embarrassing (too young) theme?
Anonymous wrote:this is thrid grade.
Every parent that posted that this is childish is absurd.
Who cares? OP if your kid has friends that will be mean after a party they are not friends.
Parents who worry about this are the ones whose kids fail out of college. Ugh
Silly just silly.
What in the holy hell?? Do you have children?
This is jaw dropping, bad advice.
Anonymous
09/06/2022 16:40
Subject: birthday party with embarrassing (too young) theme?
Don't go all the way with the theme, make it mostly "birthday" and have paw patrol plates or something.
Anonymous
09/06/2022 15:52
Subject: Re:birthday party with embarrassing (too young) theme?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I can’t even imagine my kids at that age noticing the theme of plates … they would be focused on inhaling cupcakes. I would just include a few subtle touches to make your kid happy but not go overboard.
+1
I doubt that third-grade boys are paying that much attention to what character is printed on the paper plate holding their cupcake.
There are kids who notice, though, and will point it out because they are so focused on establishing themselves as "grown up." My son is about the same age and I've overheard his friends commenting on whether things were babyish or not. Third graders aren't going to critique plate themes but I think the Paw Patrol characters will jump out at them.
Anonymous
09/06/2022 15:50
Subject: birthday party with embarrassing (too young) theme?
My 1st grader boy still likes paw patrol, but he would not choose to do paw patrol theme for bday party. He would probably want to do video game or pokemon theme. These days he pick his clothing and make sure that there is not too cartoony.
Anonymous
09/06/2022 15:47
Subject: birthday party with embarrassing (too young) theme?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:this is thrid grade.
Every parent that posted that this is childish is absurd.
Who cares? OP if your kid has friends that will be mean after a party they are not friends.
Parents who worry about this are the ones whose kids fail out of college. Ugh
Silly just silly.
Don't be so obtuse. OP's kid will care a lot and feel bad if the other kids make fun of the Paw Patrol stuff. This is a birthday party, not a litmus test to see who his "real friends" are. And at that age, any kid (friend or not) is likely to call out the babyishness. Third graders are hyperaware of that. I think the OP is right to think about this and avoid setting him up to be blindsided by embarrassment at his own birthday party. There will be plenty of other opportunities to test this kid's resilience.
I think it's a good idea to talk to your kid to find out why he asked for Paw Patrol and what his commitment is to the theme - e.g., was he out of ideas and just suggested something he remembers fondly? Maybe he's tired of Minecraft and Pokemon parties and thought that Paw Patrol might be something different. Or maybe he's feeling nostalgic. Who knows. Maybe you can nudge him away from Paw Patrol with alternative ideas. And if it seems like he really just wants Paw Patrol, then you can prepare him for the possibility that some kids will have different opinions about it.
+1 Not silly at all this is 3rd grade not K. I'm sure many boys wouldn't notice/care about the the theme, but some would think it is babyish as Paw Patrol is popular in preschool and K and most kids have outgrown it by 1st. That is the real world, just because you may have a kind empathetic child that wouldn't say anything doesn't mean that every boy in the class will be the same.
Anonymous
09/06/2022 15:40
Subject: birthday party with embarrassing (too young) theme?
Anonymous wrote:this is thrid grade.
Every parent that posted that this is childish is absurd.
Who cares? OP if your kid has friends that will be mean after a party they are not friends.
Parents who worry about this are the ones whose kids fail out of college. Ugh
Silly just silly.
Don't be so obtuse. OP's kid will care a lot and feel bad if the other kids make fun of the Paw Patrol stuff. This is a birthday party, not a litmus test to see who his "real friends" are. And at that age, any kid (friend or not) is likely to call out the babyishness. Third graders are hyperaware of that. I think the OP is right to think about this and avoid setting him up to be blindsided by embarrassment at his own birthday party. There will be plenty of other opportunities to test this kid's resilience.
I think it's a good idea to talk to your kid to find out why he asked for Paw Patrol and what his commitment is to the theme - e.g., was he out of ideas and just suggested something he remembers fondly? Maybe he's tired of Minecraft and Pokemon parties and thought that Paw Patrol might be something different. Or maybe he's feeling nostalgic. Who knows. Maybe you can nudge him away from Paw Patrol with alternative ideas. And if it seems like he really just wants Paw Patrol, then you can prepare him for the possibility that some kids will have different opinions about it.
Anonymous
09/06/2022 15:03
Subject: birthday party with embarrassing (too young) theme?
How big is the party? If three or four close friends, I wouldn’t worry. But if it’s most of the class, I think your instincts are right.