Anonymous
Post 09/05/2022 15:39     Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
Anonymous wrote:I may be pregnant with our 4th child (I am pretty sure but need to confirm with a test in a couple days).
DH and I come from larger families: mine from the Midwest; I have 3 brothers, and on that side of my family it's the norm to have 3-4 kids (I have 18 cousins just on my dad's side!). DH has 6 or 7 siblings
, from a traditional society where families basically have as many children as possible.
Anyway, we're in NW DC... And it's kind of funny how my only reservation is sort of self-consciousness here. Like, are people going to judge us for being such a large family? We're not wealthy, just feds who live simply and love our community.
We have one set of friends in the neighborhood who have 3 kids. But our other family friends have 2 max!! I don't think I can even think of any family in my neighborhood with 4 children!

...tell me you exist? If I were in the Midwest state where my relatives are, no one would bat an eyelash at a healthy big family. But here.... What are people's reactions going to be? I shouldn't care, but I do!


You do you! Unless you are expecting these neighbors to pay for this child then it is none of their business. I would never give a 2nd thought to whether you have 3, 4, or 5 children.
Anonymous
Post 09/05/2022 14:54     Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
In NW DC - there will be people who comment but it won’t be to your face. I’ve heard people say things about people with 4 kids behind their back but nothing really malicious. It’s more that people think it’s crazy to have that many kids for various reasons. It sounds like you’re having a 4th so start working on not giving a crap about what others think- people will judge you no matter what you do and you can’t control it.
Anonymous
Post 09/05/2022 14:18     Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
One of my best friends has 4 kids. They live in North Arlington. Kids are in walking distance of school, etc. and both parents are successful (though the mom works from home). Very happy family.
Anonymous
Post 09/05/2022 13:59     Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
Anonymous wrote:Pregnant with fifth. Be prepared for it to be a quieter pregnancy attention wise (unlike first or second). Also try to find that one big family cheerleader. My grandma was mine. My mom had a lot of snark, kind of like "well, what did you expect?" and my Catholic grandma was a source of love and positivity like a Care Bear. So here is my affirmation - congratulations! A fourth baby will reveal new facets of your older kids' personalities and it will be fascinating to watch. There will be days where all you see are endless grains of sand and some days you will spot the glittering gold

+1 we only have 3 (and I’m totally done), but I am the fourth child in the family and my mom didn’t even tell her dad because of the judgment. My grandfather was absolutely opposed to anyone having more than 2 for environmental reasons.
Anonymous
Post 09/05/2022 13:09     Subject: Re:I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
We are in an outer borough of NYC, and most people we know are in the biglaw/consulting/finance bubble and I can think of a handful of large families. Most are observant and Jewish, but certainly not all.
You do you!
Anonymous
Post 09/05/2022 11:51     Subject: Re:I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
We have four kids, and don't know anyone else with four. It's fine. As long as they're well-behaved and you can support them all, nobody seems to mind.
Anonymous
Post 09/05/2022 11:47     Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
We know families with four kids, but not four kids with both parents working FT.
Anonymous
Post 09/05/2022 11:03     Subject: Re:I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
The people I know with 4 kids are either very wealthy or very poor. You say you aren't wealthy but what does that mean? What's your HHI?
Anonymous
Post 09/05/2022 09:32     Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
My sister literally moved to another state because she was hypertensive about random comments made to her about wanting a larger family. She had a boy and a girl as her first two and for some bizarre reason it enraged her that people “assumed” she was done because she had one of each. She’s kind of a head case though. She definitely is trying to prove she is the “perfect” wife and mother and judges anyone who doesn’t agree with her.
Anonymous
Post 09/05/2022 09:24     Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
I live in CCDC. While not exactly common, I could easily list more than 10 school/neighborhood families with four or more kids.

I wouldn't worry.
Anonymous
Post 09/05/2022 09:23     Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one stuck on the fact that OP doesn’t know how many siblings her husband has? 6 or 7??? You are having a 4th child with a man and you don’t know how many siblings he has? Jesus.


Did you not read my response on the previous page? I don't exactly want to go into our personal histories here. But maybe consider that not everyone on this forum was born into UMC families. DH was born into a traditional society and likely had more than 6 or 7 siblings - but he has heard his mom lost at least one (no hospital), and DH had to flee from his family and home when he was a young boy. So, no, he doesn't know exactly how many siblings he has. He doesn't even know if his parents are alive.
This all likely plays into his very involved parenting and desire to raise a larger family.

And... LOL at the PPs who talk about having 4 kids as a white people's status symbol. LOLOL. Not true for many reasons, first of all we only have children out of love, secondly we are just now becoming MC and are by no means wealthy, 3rd we are a family of color. So.... LOLOL.


If he wasn’t raised with any of his siblings, I don’t see how that plays a role with him wanting a bunch of kids, since he didn’t grow up that way.
Anonymous
Post 09/05/2022 09:21     Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
It’s a big thing on Instagram now for young couples to have a ton of kids and dress them all cute and post about it on instagram. The moms IRL I know with 4+ kids seem always focused on the youngest child and basically ignore the older ones or lump them all together.
Anonymous
Post 09/05/2022 09:18     Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
We have 4 in NW DC. Pretty common up this way. Not sure where you live but if you are around a Catholic Church there will be plenty of families with 4 and 5 kids.
Anonymous
Post 09/05/2022 09:17     Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
Pregnant with fifth. Be prepared for it to be a quieter pregnancy attention wise (unlike first or second). Also try to find that one big family cheerleader. My grandma was mine. My mom had a lot of snark, kind of like "well, what did you expect?" and my Catholic grandma was a source of love and positivity like a Care Bear. So here is my affirmation - congratulations! A fourth baby will reveal new facets of your older kids' personalities and it will be fascinating to watch. There will be days where all you see are endless grains of sand and some days you will spot the glittering gold
Anonymous
Post 09/05/2022 09:17     Subject: I don't know any families with 4 kids in my neighborhood
Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one stuck on the fact that OP doesn’t know how many siblings her husband has? 6 or 7??? You are having a 4th child with a man and you don’t know how many siblings he has? Jesus.


Did you not read my response on the previous page? I don't exactly want to go into our personal histories here. But maybe consider that not everyone on this forum was born into UMC families. DH was born into a traditional society and likely had more than 6 or 7 siblings - but he has heard his mom lost at least one (no hospital), and DH had to flee from his family and home when he was a young boy. So, no, he doesn't know exactly how many siblings he has. He doesn't even know if his parents are alive.
This all likely plays into his very involved parenting and desire to raise a larger family.

And... LOL at the PPs who talk about having 4 kids as a white people's status symbol. LOLOL. Not true for many reasons, first of all we only have children out of love, secondly we are just now becoming MC and are by no means wealthy, 3rd we are a family of color. So.... LOLOL.