Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I would not apply to schools that you can't afford and can't believe posters are supporting or suggesting this.

It's much easier to be realistic up front and talk up other options than to have a dream acceptance in hand and then have to tell your kid you can't swing it.
Get her excited about her choices!!

And those who are suggestions she pay back parents from lucrative future earnings are just asking for trouble. What if she gets disabled? Switches majors? Goes to an interminable PhD program?
Takes a job that doesn't pay the money you think she should be making? Decides to take a year off and travel? Decides that X, Y or Z is more important to spend money on than paying back mom and dad?
All kinds of things could and do happen in family loan arrangements like this.

My husband's parents put him on a payment plan for money he borrowed from them for medical school. For many reasons, this was an albatross in the relationship until that money was paid off.
It's much better to not intermix loans and family, even parents.

+1 As someone already posted, they'll resent you even more if you say NO after letting them apply and, despite the odds, get accepted. Help them understand they have GREAT options that you can afford.

+1. Every year a mom or dad comes on here having suddenly waken up to the fact that their DC got into a school they can’t afford snd they have to tell the child no. There’s one about three years back where someone posted “my DD got onto her dream school Northwestern how canwe afford $83k a year?” It’s traffic and unfair to the child and will make them bitter. You must be up front about this now and lay out exactly what you can and cannot do. That’s the very first thing a private counselor would do with the three of you

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I would not apply to schools that you can't afford and can't believe posters are supporting or suggesting this.

It's much easier to be realistic up front and talk up other options than to have a dream acceptance in hand and then have to tell your kid you can't swing it.
Get her excited about her choices!!

And those who are suggestions she pay back parents from lucrative future earnings are just asking for trouble. What if she gets disabled? Switches majors? Goes to an interminable PhD program?
Takes a job that doesn't pay the money you think she should be making? Decides to take a year off and travel? Decides that X, Y or Z is more important to spend money on than paying back mom and dad?
All kinds of things could and do happen in family loan arrangements like this.

My husband's parents put him on a payment plan for money he borrowed from them for medical school. For many reasons, this was an albatross in the relationship until that money was paid off.
It's much better to not intermix loans and family, even parents.

+1 As someone already posted, they'll resent you even more if you say NO after letting them apply and, despite the odds, get accepted. Help them understand they have GREAT options that you can afford.

Why does OP have to extert control now just to avoid possible resentment in the future? Let the girl make her own choices and face realities of money.

It’s fine OP. You have to let her make her own choices. I applied and got accepted to several “better” colleges that gave me zero financial aid. When I had all the info in front of me, it was quite easy to reject the Ivy that offered a paltry sum and focus instead on the small SLAC and public that offered considerable aid.

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I would not apply to schools that you can't afford and can't believe posters are supporting or suggesting this.

It's much easier to be realistic up front and talk up other options than to have a dream acceptance in hand and then have to tell your kid you can't swing it.
Get her excited about her choices!!

And those who are suggestions she pay back parents from lucrative future earnings are just asking for trouble. What if she gets disabled? Switches majors? Goes to an interminable PhD program?
Takes a job that doesn't pay the money you think she should be making? Decides to take a year off and travel? Decides that X, Y or Z is more important to spend money on than paying back mom and dad?
All kinds of things could and do happen in family loan arrangements like this.

My husband's parents put him on a payment plan for money he borrowed from them for medical school. For many reasons, this was an albatross in the relationship until that money was paid off.
It's much better to not intermix loans and family, even parents.

+1 As someone already posted, they'll resent you even more if you say NO after letting them apply and, despite the odds, get accepted. Help them understand they have GREAT options that you can afford.

Anonymous wrote:She needs to be applying for scholarships then. My kid went to the school we could afford, point blank.

Not all schools take outside scholarships. Need to do the research as this is very school specific.

Frankly, I would not apply to schools that you can't afford and can't believe posters are supporting or suggesting this.

It's much easier to be realistic up front and talk up other options than to have a dream acceptance in hand and then have to tell your kid you can't swing it.
Get her excited about her choices!!

And those who are suggestions she pay back parents from lucrative future earnings are just asking for trouble. What if she gets disabled? Switches majors? Goes to an interminable PhD program?
Takes a job that doesn't pay the money you think she should be making? Decides to take a year off and travel? Decides that X, Y or Z is more important to spend money on than paying back mom and dad?
All kinds of things could and do happen in family loan arrangements like this.

My husband's parents put him on a payment plan for money he borrowed from them for medical school. For many reasons, this was an albatross in the relationship until that money was paid off.
It's much better to not intermix loans and family, even parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to be applying for scholarships then. My kid went to the school we could afford, point blank.

+1. We said there had to be 2 likely admits that were also financially within budget and another 2-3 schools that offered merit with varying likelihood of getting in and being offered merit. After that was solidified, we said okay to apply to a few schools on the list that didn’t offer merit and low acceptance rate but those applications had to come after the other ones were done. For those schools I also said they needed to apply for outside scholarships and consider ROTC if they were that committed to attending the school if they got in because the likelihood of enough financial aid was low.

ROTC is a good scholarship if they're willing to do all that comes with it, including committing to being in active duty military after school for x number of years (5?).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure you gave already, but to others who may be interested, Harvard has very robust financial aid.

Yes, but not for many DMV upper middle class families who can't afford full pay.

OP here. This is us. We are just at the edge salary wise and do NOT qualify for free money with FAFSA. But we live in the District and barely make our mortgage while trying desperately to save into our kids 529s. Our kids attend public high school. We have no public university option and rely on DC TAG which at 10K per year def helps but is no where near in state tuition.

Even so, the schools you mentioned use css in addition to FAFSA and are far more generous. What is your hhi? Can you add a figure for "on the edge?" Princeton has some deep pockets. Assuming she could get in, which as another pp said will require a lot more than good grades/tests. Mine is headed to another Ivy. Had impressive ECs/talent portfolio, national awards, service etc. Acceptance rate was 3%. It's insane.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Major in CS or equivalent STEM or finance.
Get loans.

The daughter can't. no collateral. Parents are limited by FAFSA as to what they can get. In this area that means probably zero which means only the $5500 unsubsidized federal loan. Parents have to come up with the difference out of savings, a one time withdrawl from IRAs, refinancing, etc. Or the parents get high interest bank loans themselves but they have to put up collateral

There's a thing called Parent Plus loan.
No collateral needed. Apply at the FAFSA site.

If parents don’t want to borrow hundreds of thousands to send her to Princeton, best to tell her that now. You are the borrower, you have absolute veto power over her choice.

There are some options if she's going to major in lucrative subjects.

Make a deal with her that she needs to pay the parent loan
She can also come home and live with parents for 2-3 years, and pay significant amount before moving out.

Anonymous wrote:Hey, just let her apply and see what happens. But tell her not to get her heart set at any one place because it’s possible it won’t work out financially.

Make a deal. She applies to some state places and you support her applying to Princeton etc. But tell her you will have to see if it works out financially and there is a good chance it will not.

Princeton has a ton of money. It’s possible she will get aid. What is your household income? Also, some loans to go to Princeton might be worth it if she is willing to work in the corporate world after graduation.

I was thinking/wondering the same. Mine got into some top tier schools and FA was better than npc. So, if you're worried that npc seems low, remind yourself of the endowments these schools have and how tgey assess differently using css from schools that just use fafsa. Are you under 200k for household income (including retirement contributions)?

Maybe set an amount you're willing to commit and leave it at that.

The hitch is future years. If you get a significant raise, cost could go up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about crossing that bridge when you get there?

Because then it becomes that much harder to say NO and there will be more disappointment and tears. If there really is a halfway decent chance for enough aid, that's one thing. But if the NPC and/or other data shows it is not realistic, better to head it off at the pass.

I disagree. Chances are she won’t get in to Princeton. Or Pomona. But if you don’t let her apply, she will resent that forever. Just tell her you are sorry but you are not sure you can afford it, but she can apply and see what hapoens

+1

Agree. Make sure that she understands that the budget is $X, regardless of admissions results.

It's impressive though that she has goals for herself and is determine to achieve them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about crossing that bridge when you get there?

Yes, admit rates at Pomona and Princeton are so low it is extremely unlikely she gets into either.

Apply to ten schools with a 3% admit rate and it’s a 74% chance you’ll get into one of them. 😀

Anonymous wrote:We have two in school. One is in a private and one is in a public state flagship. Both were told that their schools were known for not giving money. Both received large merit aid awards. Other schools in which we thought they would receive merit were offered none or very little. Given your situation I would encourage your kid to apply to a lot of schools and wait on making a decision until all the offers are in.

Good point, but there is NO possibility of merit (versus need-based) aid at the tippy top schools - none.

We have two in school. One is in a private and one is in a public state flagship. Both were told that their schools were known for not giving money. Both received large merit aid awards. Other schools in which we thought they would receive merit were offered none or very little. Given your situation I would encourage your kid to apply to a lot of schools and wait on making a decision until all the offers are in.