Anonymous wrote:We are an Asian family and a no shoe household. While I would not have liked you to walk through our house with shoes, I would never vent to another mom about it.

Two things I won’t ever quite understand is walking indoors with dirty shoes or leaving windows and doors open. I hate bugs and don’t want anything to fly in.

We had a friend who would just leave their doors wide open and a bird flew in. My kids and I were shocked that they did this. I can’t imagine how I would feel if a bird flew in our house. Flies are bad enough.

Animals roam free in third world countries defecating where they are. The US is not a third world country and it is rude to have your draconian rule of no shoes in house and not advise your guests. As for birds, you need some help unless a bald eagle or a condir flies into your house.

Anonymous wrote:You should have carried the shoes inside.

If you have a "no shoes in house" policy, you tell people iñ advance, no exceptions? You also do not have a sprinkler going if your guests are expected to use adit/exit and forced to walk in water.

OP the hostess was to blame here, not you. She should have told you to use front door and ask you to put shoes on outside. Personally, I would never go back again.

Anonymous wrote:We are an Asian family and a no shoe household. While I would not have liked you to walk through our house with shoes, I would never vent to another mom about it.

Two things I won’t ever quite understand is walking indoors with dirty shoes or leaving windows and doors open. I hate bugs and don’t want anything to fly in.

We had a friend who would just leave their doors wide open and a bird flew in.My kids and I were shocked that they did this. I can’t imagine how I would feel if a bird flew in our house. Flies are bad enough.

I have never encountered this in my 40 years on this planet. Your friend is an outlier, if this actually happened.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- no judgement towards people who have a no-shoe policy. We actually also remove our shoes in our home but when guests come over, we never ask them to. Seems forward to me? Whatever- the point is that I had zero issue with taking off my shoes. I wish I had removed that a second time to walk through the kitchen to the front door. I also wish she hadn't complained to someone else about it. Embarrassing and uncomfortable all arouond!

Troll.

No one has a shoes-off policy for themselves but not the guests. You're really going to have a playdate where your kids have no shoes and the guests have shoes? I've lived in many countries and have seen many things, but not that.

You're just creating a scenario to rile people up.

Aren’t you silly.
We don’t wear shoes inside the house but I always ask my guests to do what feels comfortable to them. Why do you think this is some big deal?

Because I've been on this earth for many decades, known mostly shoe-less households across the world, and NONE of them have one policy for themselves and one policy for guests. It defeats the entire purpose. It suggests that being shoe-less is a something burdensome you cannot ask of a guest, which is ridiculous. Either you do or you don't but you're really sending a mixed message being wishy-washy about it.

The host being gossipy does not absolve you from your own rudeness in walking in her house with shoes, BTW.

The host’s rudeness in asking the guest and her child to walk through an area where sprinklers are running actually does “absolve” them of walking through the house with shoes on. That and the gossiping make it clear that the host is actually pretty trashy.

Anonymous wrote:We are an Asian family and a no shoe household. While I would not have liked you to walk through our house with shoes, I would never vent to another mom about it.

Two things I won’t ever quite understand is walking indoors with dirty shoes or leaving windows and doors open. I hate bugs and don’t want anything to fly in.

We had a friend who would just leave their doors wide open and a bird flew in. My kids and I were shocked that they did this. I can’t imagine how I would feel if a bird flew in our house. Flies are bad enough.

This is why they make screens.

We are an Asian family and a no shoe household. While I would not have liked you to walk through our house with shoes, I would never vent to another mom about it.

Two things I won’t ever quite understand is walking indoors with dirty shoes or leaving windows and doors open. I hate bugs and don’t want anything to fly in.

We had a friend who would just leave their doors wide open and a bird flew in. My kids and I were shocked that they did this. I can’t imagine how I would feel if a bird flew in our house. Flies are bad enough.

Here OP. I’d want to watch this on your situation.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c1199DmuUKs

I make kids take shoes off. And make them take them off to cross the house (so I have sympathy for no shoes policy). But adults can keep their shoes on because I want them to feel comfortable.

Anonymous wrote:I would not want to be friends with someone so anal.

Ne There would I. I never require anyone to take their shoes off in my house. We take ours off, and most people see the pike abd tabs they’re off, but i sissy’s tell them to do what they are comfortable with.

Shoes in the house are always such a sensitive topic on dcum, lol! Clearly some who hate the shoes off rule can't imagine that those who have it could be reasonable and flexible with their guests! We are a no shoe house but don't enforce it with guests except children going into the bedrooms and TV room. When guests come in, I'd say about half notice and take off their shoes, if they ask or hesitate i just say no qorries either way. I understand people may have lots of reasons for a need/preference either way. It only takes a few minutes to vacum/swiffer, but most often wr have guests on a weekend anyway so I just do one of our regular floor cleanings the next day.

Granted I don't have hordes of guests, but allowing them to keep their shoes on but having famoly and my childrens frienda who are in the house regularly take off their shoes makes a HUGE difference in how much dirt and germs come in!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- no judgement towards people who have a no-shoe policy. We actually also remove our shoes in our home but when guests come over, we never ask them to. Seems forward to me? Whatever- the point is that I had zero issue with taking off my shoes. I wish I had removed that a second time to walk through the kitchen to the front door. I also wish she hadn't complained to someone else about it. Embarrassing and uncomfortable all arouond!

Troll.

No one has a shoes-off policy for themselves but not the guests. You're really going to have a playdate where your kids have no shoes and the guests have shoes? I've lived in many countries and have seen many things, but not that.

You're just creating a scenario to rile people up.

Aren’t you silly.
We don’t wear shoes inside the house but I always ask my guests to do what feels comfortable to them. Why do you think this is some big deal?

Because I've been on this earth for many decades, known mostly shoe-less households across the world, and NONE of them have one policy for themselves and one policy for guests. It defeats the entire purpose. It suggests that being shoe-less is a something burdensome you cannot ask of a guest, which is ridiculous. Either you do or you don't but you're really sending a mixed message being wishy-washy about it.

The host being gossipy does not absolve you from your own rudeness in walking in her house with shoes, BTW.

Yeah, you’re wrong. We take our shoes off most of the time but I never ask it of guests. We take our shoes off to keep the dirt in check, not to maintain some faux sterile environment. Also our house is set up as a moderate dirt house (washable rugs, wood floors, elevated furniture) and we have a dog. I don’t want guests to get dog hair on their socks.

Obviously if someone’s shoes are muddy and they go to take them off, I won’t stop them.

Probably what happened to you here is that you’ve always assumed houses like mine were “shoe houses” because you have the mindset of being weird about “germs” and “outside dirt.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- no judgement towards people who have a no-shoe policy. We actually also remove our shoes in our home but when guests come over, we never ask them to. Seems forward to me? Whatever- the point is that I had zero issue with taking off my shoes. I wish I had removed that a second time to walk through the kitchen to the front door. I also wish she hadn't complained to someone else about it. Embarrassing and uncomfortable all arouond!

Troll.

No one has a shoes-off policy for themselves but not the guests. You're really going to have a playdate where your kids have no shoes and the guests have shoes? I've lived in many countries and have seen many things, but not that.

You're just creating a scenario to rile people up.

Aren’t you silly.
We don’t wear shoes inside the house but I always ask my guests to do what feels comfortable to them. Why do you think this is some big deal?

Because I've been on this earth for many decades, known mostly shoe-less households across the world, and NONE of them have one policy for themselves and one policy for guests. It defeats the entire purpose. It suggests that being shoe-less is a something burdensome you cannot ask of a guest, which is ridiculous. Either you do or you don't but you're really sending a mixed message being wishy-washy about it.

The host being gossipy does not absolve you from your own rudeness in walking in her house with shoes, BTW.

This will sound bad but are you from another country? I could understand your view better if you are.

In the US some people will perceive a shoe removal request as a burden and not terribly polite/hospitable especially if it is along the lines OP said - take them off to walk a few steps through the house. I’m not from a farm or city area and the only person I knew growing up who did no shoes was a friend whose mom was from Japan. They were so strict I was not allowed in the unfinished basement part where shoes were kept even.

We are another house that is mostly (not 100%) no shoes. If we are home for awhile we take them off. If we forget a thing and run back in to get it we leave them on. We do try to mostly not wear them upstairs where the carpets are. Shoes off for play dates. But when grownups come over we never tell them to take shoes off.

My mostly no shoes policy is more about cutting down on the dirt we track in and less about 100% outside germ prevention.

You guys are all crazy. The shoe thing is no big deal and neither is the comment. Now you know she’s super into the shoe thing and you can be more careful about it if you care to visit. People have weird stuff and in the course of a friendship, being super into no shoes is one I’m fine with accommodating even if I think it becomes excessive. The comment? No big deal! It probably wasn’t a dig at you, I bet she was just discussing dirt with a fellow dirt-obsessive. Even if it was a dig at you, can you really not absorb it? It’s so small. Just let it go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- no judgement towards people who have a no-shoe policy. We actually also remove our shoes in our home but when guests come over, we never ask them to. Seems forward to me? Whatever- the point is that I had zero issue with taking off my shoes. I wish I had removed that a second time to walk through the kitchen to the front door. I also wish she hadn't complained to someone else about it. Embarrassing and uncomfortable all arouond!

Troll.

No one has a shoes-off policy for themselves but not the guests. You're really going to have a playdate where your kids have no shoes and the guests have shoes? I've lived in many countries and have seen many things, but not that.

You're just creating a scenario to rile people up.

What? We are a mostly shoes off house but I do not ask guests to take their shoes off because I want them to feel comfortable. I let them ask and say whichever they prefer. This is not uncommon.

Same. Of corridor I tell kids to take them off for play dates but it feels forward to ask adults to so I do not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- no judgement towards people who have a no-shoe policy. We actually also remove our shoes in our home but when guests come over, we never ask them to. Seems forward to me? Whatever- the point is that I had zero issue with taking off my shoes. I wish I had removed that a second time to walk through the kitchen to the front door. I also wish she hadn't complained to someone else about it. Embarrassing and uncomfortable all arouond!

Troll.

No one has a shoes-off policy for themselves but not the guests. You're really going to have a playdate where your kids have no shoes and the guests have shoes? I've lived in many countries and have seen many things, but not that.

You're just creating a scenario to rile people up.

Aren’t you silly.
We don’t wear shoes inside the house but I always ask my guests to do what feels comfortable to them. Why do you think this is some big deal?

Because I've been on this earth for many decades, known mostly shoe-less households across the world, and NONE of them have one policy for themselves and one policy for guests. It defeats the entire purpose. It suggests that being shoe-less is a something burdensome you cannot ask of a guest, which is ridiculous. Either you do or you don't but you're really sending a mixed message being wishy-washy about it.

The host being gossipy does not absolve you from your own rudeness in walking in her house with shoes, BTW.

Age hasn’t given you wisdom, clearly. And you don’t know many people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happens to the family members and guests who are over 50 years old who have to wear shoes for medical reasons? No way can I walk across a wood floor without the support of shoes.

This is pretty common actually. Many people need to wear shoes for medical reasons, even those under fifty.

Many, no...

I can’t think of a single person I know that must wear shoes at all times for medical reasons.