Anonymous
Post 08/21/2022 15:04     Subject: Re:BF went over ex wife house to celebrate sons bday
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:FFS, if they wanted to be together they would still be married.


+1

This is not a big deal. You probably should not date someone with kids.



Let's not act brand new like break ups are all even or that exes never end up in bed together.

Op is allowed to have boundaries when it comes to the ex.

. This has nothing to do with being coparents and if you were being honest you would admit that


I disagree. People get divorced for a reason. I do not know anyone who slept with an ex. I personally had an almost completely sexless marriage. I only see ex for the kids. I do not agree most people sleep with their ex.


No one said most people. Can you not read? Some people do. And there's no good reason for him to hang around until 20 pm or later.

Even sobering up is bad because that means he was getting drunk at a kids party which is a sign for alcohol problems. Anyway you slice it is bad news.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2022 13:51     Subject: BF went over ex wife house to celebrate sons bday
We need more details.

Were others there till ten pm as well? Was the child awake
Till ten?

Why weren’t you invited?
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2022 13:45     Subject: BF went over ex wife house to celebrate sons bday
Anonymous wrote:Buy a used car, get a used car.

This
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2022 13:42     Subject: BF went over ex wife house to celebrate sons bday
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Going over for an hour or so to cut cake and open presents be sure she is the one with custody that day is normal.

Kids goes to bed at eight, and boyfriend and ex stay up drinking alone past ten? That would be a no go in my book unless tons of other family was around last ten till.

At a certain point, he should start inviting you to these things.

Oh and op there are a lot of ex wives on dcurbanmom who like to argue that divorced mens new wives and girlfriends should be treated like dirt and that his ex wife will always be MORE use she is the oh so sacred mother of the kids. Don’t listen to them.


Disagree unless marriage is on the table. Not a girlfriend.


Dh’s dad married someone who is 2 years older than him. She did not come to big events like our wedding, BIL college graduation, etc. Dh does not consider her his stepmother.

We have seen her a handful of times and she is really nice to me and our kids. Dh and BIL act weird around her. It has been twenty years. I don’t think the new wife and MIL have ever been in the same place together. I don’t know if FIL left MIL for new wife but I know MIL thinks he did.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2022 13:42     Subject: BF went over ex wife house to celebrate sons bday
Buy a used car, get a used car.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2022 13:39     Subject: BF went over ex wife house to celebrate sons bday
He should be concerned. Are you even 25?
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2022 13:38     Subject: Re:BF went over ex wife house to celebrate sons bday
How long since divorce?
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2022 13:28     Subject: Re:BF went over ex wife house to celebrate sons bday
Did Op say how old the kid is? Since she said the BF went to go celebrate the birthday, not to attend the bday party - I’m assuming the kid is aged out of bday parties. So 12+. Dinner and hanging out opening presents over a beer until 10pm is exactly what any normal family does for kids this age. Alternative would be dinner out during the same time frame, also with drinks.

Absolutely nothing wrong with this, and if I were the OP I’d want to know that my GF was nuts writing about this on dcum.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2022 13:25     Subject: BF went over ex wife house to celebrate sons bday
He is lying to you. He did not stay at his ex-wife’s to drink jntil 10 pm on DS’s birthday. He went and drank somewhere else with someone else.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2022 10:20     Subject: Re:BF went over ex wife house to celebrate sons bday
10pm is not late. Some people have dinner that late. I don't even get home from the gym until 10:30 some nights.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2022 09:45     Subject: Re:BF went over ex wife house to celebrate sons bday
Anonymous wrote:As a ex-wife I would say that it is a good sign he can be civil with the ex-wife in the presence of the children.
Look, what kind of guy do you want to date - a man who doesn't see his kids and takes his unresolved anger about his failed marriage on the ex-wife or someone who accepts it's over but can behave humanely for the sake of his children?
The former is a jerk, but latter has lifelong baggage. Not optimal but which one is worse?


You forgot the third option: a man with no kids. Best choice.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2022 09:43     Subject: BF went over ex wife house to celebrate sons bday
Anonymous wrote:Going over for an hour or so to cut cake and open presents be sure she is the one with custody that day is normal.

Kids goes to bed at eight, and boyfriend and ex stay up drinking alone past ten? That would be a no go in my book unless tons of other family was around last ten till.

At a certain point, he should start inviting you to these things.

Oh and op there are a lot of ex wives on dcurbanmom who like to argue that divorced mens new wives and girlfriends should be treated like dirt and that his ex wife will always be MORE use she is the oh so sacred mother of the kids. Don’t listen to them.


Disagree unless marriage is on the table. Not a girlfriend.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2022 09:43     Subject: BF went over ex wife house to celebrate sons bday
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would be concerned that you are not ready to date a father with family obligations.


+2


Agree. Run OP run and don’t look back.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2022 09:42     Subject: BF went over ex wife house to celebrate sons bday
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would be concerned that you are not ready to date a father with family obligations.


Plus 1

Kid should always come first



+2 if he was drinking, he should stay until he sobered up as that is responsible.


PP here. This is what I assumed. Sobering up and likely others doing the same.
Anonymous
Post 08/21/2022 09:42     Subject: BF went over ex wife house to celebrate sons bday
OP if you don’t have kids - find a guy with no kids. Why would you burden yourself with a guy with baggage if you don’t have to? You can do better.