Anonymous wrote:My dad is in a Medicaid nursing home and hates it. It’s not a luxury place by any means, but I would describe it as adequate. He tells me every day that he would like to move back to my place and have a home caregiver. Unfortunately there is a 7 year waitlist for Medicaid home caregivers and he cannot afford one out of pocket. Would I want (or want my DH or kids) to stay where he’s staying? Absolutely not. But I’m not jeopardizing my own retirement planning to pay for something better. He squandered his 7 figure nest egg on women after he left my mom and quit working at 50. I need to have plenty of money so that if my spouse or I need expensive end-of-life care, we can afford it and not be a burden to our kids. I feel guilty sometimes but I have to think about my family and myself first.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm currently helping my mother do just that, and my net worth is $8 million. I also have several siblings with plenty of money. I have no problem with any of this. It's not a moral issue.
Actually it is, though perhaps not in the way you think.
How so?
Uhh, I feel like some of these questions were getting are for someone's homework or research paper... same with the leasing a car question. 🤔
Op never gives details about themselves, just continues to ask "why?" or "why not?" when people reply... especially in the car lease thread.
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1074022.page
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:A little different, but reminds me of a time I was in Target years ago, and the gentleman ahead of me reached into his wallet to pull out hit EBT card, but had to pass a seriously fat stack of hundreds to get it.
My husband used to get paid in cash. That's all he ever had. Don't judge.
Anonymous wrote:This is what wealthy immigrants I know do. They bring their parents over, put them on SSI, subsidized housing, state subsidized medical care, and later food stamps.
They themselves often live in mansions and have high income
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If you yourself are wealthy, but your parents are destitute, would you help them apply for benefits so they don’t have to rely on your resources?
I would not help my parents in any way whatsoever.
DH and I have a net worth of $6M and a HHI of $525K. We’re in our mid-40s and have two children. My parents inherited 3 million dollars from my grandfather about 20 years ago. My parents immediately retired at the age of 51 and started taking luxury cruises, paying off their house, buying new cars (first fully loaded highlanders, then sports cars, then high end convertibles). Never once did they do anything to enrich the lives of their grandchildren or any of my siblings or cousins. They were constantly competing with DH and me as well as anyone in the extended family with notable accomplishments.
Fast forward to 2022, and they’re proud recipients of stimulus checks, constantly complaining about being on a fixed income, demanding that we pay for everything, and exhausting a reverse mortgage with little runway remaining. They made their bed. Time to sleep in it.
Oh give it a rest. You're worth $6 million in your mid 40s and make $525k a year. You didn't need your parents' help obviously. Get over it.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm currently helping my mother do just that, and my net worth is $8 million. I also have several siblings with plenty of money. I have no problem with any of this. It's not a moral issue.
Actually it is, though perhaps not in the way you think.
What way are you thinking?
Whether wealthy children have a moral obligation to financially assist elderly parents in need.
Seems like a moral issue to me.
It is to you. Don't push your morals onto other people and don't judge others by ypur standards. It's bad manners.