Why don’t you just adjust you eating window?!? Lengthening it by 20-30 mins shouldn’t make a huge difference

What do they eat?

If it's a sandwich, make it, stick a few toothpicks in it to hold it together if necessary, set it in the fridge. They can get drinks/cut fruit/chips on their own.

If it's leftovers, time to teach them to heat it up (or heating it up for them shouldn't be hard).

If you're making pasta or something, it's fine to make it every few days and store it in the fridge and show them how to microwave it (I sprinkle a small amount of water to moisten it) and top it with sauce.


If they eat snackier lunches - fruit, veg, cheese, hummus, etc... you can just prep in a more organized way and show them how to pull the containers, portion, and plate it.

If you're cooking an elaborate catered lunch for them daily, I think you can switch to one of the above options.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. As an employer, it is unreasonable for you to have two lunch breaks because of your lack of child care and unreasonably rigid meal schedule that you chose.

Yes it is unreasonable for your children to eat when they are not hungry yet. You are an adult and if anyone in this scenario needs to adjust, it’s you. It will not kill you to eat at 12 instead of 11:30.

Yes it is unreasonable that your children cannot make their own lunch at their current ages. If they are truly so helpless, pack them a lunch in the morning and they can take it out of the lunchbox or fridge when they are ready.

What kind of jobs are you people working in where someone would even notice you were gone for 15 minutes?

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Anonymous wrote:I think it’s unreasonable to force kids to eat when they aren’t hungry just because that’s your own preference. Why can’t you wait longer to eat? Because you prefer to eat when you’re hungry? Goes both ways.

Because I'm starving and can't snack like they all morning.

It’s not unreasonable and setting a boundary that this is lunch time also means setting a boundary that they cannot snack all morning. Set up a schedule with set mealtimes and snack times. If they are not hungry at mealtime they don’t have to eat. If they get hungry in between reassure them that snack time (or mealtime) is only a short time away. Constant snacking is the problem not wanting to set lunchtime to a time that works for you. .
Consider reading Ellen satter regarding division of responsibility.

Not sure why so many people think this is unreasonable. I mean daycare, school all with set meal and snack times. No reason you can’t do the same at home.

I agree with this approach, but the whole problem with OP is that she'll say "I can't keep them from snacking! They'll whine at me all morning if they can't snack!"

Like every reasonable suggestions someone has made in this thread, OP has shot down and acted like trying to adjust her approach AT ALL is just not a solution at all. She wants to do everything exactly the same but she wants her kids to magically be hungry and eat lunch when she wants to eat.

OP is 100% being unreasonable, which is the issue. This is a really basic problem and would be easy to solve if OP were even remotely flexible about anything.

OP is presumably doing IF to lose weight and control her own snacking. The irony of not being able to set Division of Responsibility boundaries for her own kids is that she’s setting them up to have the same issues with food that she does.

Yes. As an employer, it is unreasonable for you to have two lunch breaks because of your lack of child care and unreasonably rigid meal schedule that you chose.

Yes it is unreasonable for your children to eat when they are not hungry yet. You are an adult and if anyone in this scenario needs to adjust, it’s you. It will not kill you to eat at 12 instead of 11:30.

Yes it is unreasonable that your children cannot make their own lunch at their current ages. If they are truly so helpless, pack them a lunch in the morning and they can take it out of the lunchbox or fridge when they are ready.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s unreasonable to force kids to eat when they aren’t hungry just because that’s your own preference. Why can’t you wait longer to eat? Because you prefer to eat when you’re hungry? Goes both ways.

Because I'm starving and can't snack like they all morning.

It’s not unreasonable and setting a boundary that this is lunch time also means setting a boundary that they cannot snack all morning. Set up a schedule with set mealtimes and snack times. If they are not hungry at mealtime they don’t have to eat. If they get hungry in between reassure them that snack time (or mealtime) is only a short time away. Constant snacking is the problem not wanting to set lunchtime to a time that works for you. .
Consider reading Ellen satter regarding division of responsibility.

Not sure why so many people think this is unreasonable. I mean daycare, school all with set meal and snack times. No reason you can’t do the same at home.

I agree with this approach, but the whole problem with OP is that she'll say "I can't keep them from snacking! They'll whine at me all morning if they can't snack!"

Like every reasonable suggestions someone has made in this thread, OP has shot down and acted like trying to adjust her approach AT ALL is just not a solution at all. She wants to do everything exactly the same but she wants her kids to magically be hungry and eat lunch when she wants to eat.

OP is 100% being unreasonable, which is the issue. This is a really basic problem and would be easy to solve if OP were even remotely flexible about anything.

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Anonymous wrote:Yes you’re being unreasonable. I IF as well and don’t expect others to follow the same eating window as I do. Especially kids. Make their lunch while you prepare yours and set it aside for them.

Ok, then how do I explain to my manager why I'm not at my computer?

What do you mean? How much time does it take to make their lunch?

10-15 minutes, but I miss a lot of emails in that amount of time.

So get up 10-15 minutes earlier and make their lunches then, and put them in the fridge.

Also, this makes no sense because if you are insisting on making their lunches AND saying that it takes time away from your work, isn't this a problem regardless of when they eat?

No, because I can justify time away for MY lunch. Not theirs.

Anyone could need a 10-15 minute "bathroom break". Does your manager time each and every minute?

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Anonymous wrote:Yes you’re being unreasonable. I IF as well and don’t expect others to follow the same eating window as I do. Especially kids. Make their lunch while you prepare yours and set it aside for them.

Ok, then how do I explain to my manager why I'm not at my computer?

What do you mean? How much time does it take to make their lunch?

10-15 minutes, but I miss a lot of emails in that amount of time.

It takes you 10-15 minutes to heat up leftovers?! Portion theirs out when you do yours and then pop it in the microwave for 1 min? Are you and the kids eating the same thing as eachother?

If you can’t figure this out, it sounds like you need to go back to getting a nanny or put them in summer camp.

So if you take the time to properly cool the food before returning it to the fridge, then why can’t you take 10 minutes a day to teach your kids to make their own lunches?

Yes, we're eating the same thing - and I can't believe you'd just let food sit out for up to an hour after being reheated. That's gross.

I've tried. They "don't like" the options they're able to make themselves.

Then they don’t eat.

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes you’re being unreasonable. I IF as well and don’t expect others to follow the same eating window as I do. Especially kids. Make their lunch while you prepare yours and set it aside for them.

Ok, then how do I explain to my manager why I'm not at my computer?

What does that have to do with it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you’re neglecting your job and your children every day?

Not neglecting my job. Trying not to neglect my kids, but the nanny's Navy husband received orders two weeks after school ended, and I'm struggling to get everything done, ok? Must be nice to be perfect.

It sounds like you are in a really hard spot and you really have my sympathy but can’t you possibly find a camp or a babysitter for them? I have a 7 year old and she would be miserable if She was stuck home with me and I could not interact with her all day. I have intense periods of work where I really can’t step away for 15 minutes (not today obviously lol) and having my kids home during those periods is absolutely awful. People on here who don’t use childcare during WFH clearly have very different kinds of jobs or do a lot of work at night. The lunch thing is not that big a deal, you can do whatever you did during the school year but probably they just want your attention.

If you need them to eat leftovers, can you make their plates when you make yours, stick them in the fridge and either a) tell the kids to microwave them at their lunch time or b) run to the kitchen at kid lunch time, microwave the pre-made plates yourself and then get back to work (so away from desk for 3-5 minutes instead of 15-20)?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s unreasonable to force kids to eat when they aren’t hungry just because that’s your own preference. Why can’t you wait longer to eat? Because you prefer to eat when you’re hungry? Goes both ways.

Because I'm starving and can't snack like they all morning.

It’s not unreasonable and setting a boundary that this is lunch time also means setting a boundary that they cannot snack all morning. Set up a schedule with set mealtimes and snack times. If they are not hungry at mealtime they don’t have to eat. If they get hungry in between reassure them that snack time (or mealtime) is only a short time away. Constant snacking is the problem not wanting to set lunchtime to a time that works for you. .
Consider reading Ellen satter regarding division of responsibility.

Not sure why so many people think this is unreasonable. I mean daycare, school all with set meal and snack times. No reason you can’t do the same at home.

No, OP is using all her bandwidth losing weight and doing her job, which as you can read in the 77 page thread in Diet and Fitness, is her responsibility as a heavier person and THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR FAILURE LAZY!

And now having lost over 40 pounds, she gets to be attacked for being a failure as a mom!

Tell your kids what you can prep for them at that time. Take their screens until they eat it. Or send them to camp.

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Anonymous wrote:Yes you’re being unreasonable. I IF as well and don’t expect others to follow the same eating window as I do. Especially kids. Make their lunch while you prepare yours and set it aside for them.

Ok, then how do I explain to my manager why I'm not at my computer?

What do you mean? How much time does it take to make their lunch?

10-15 minutes, but I miss a lot of emails in that amount of time.

It takes you 10-15 minutes to heat up leftovers?! Portion theirs out when you do yours and then pop it in the microwave for 1 min? Are you and the kids eating the same thing as eachother?

If you can’t figure this out, it sounds like you need to go back to getting a nanny or put them in summer camp.

Yes, we're eating the same thing - and I can't believe you'd just let food sit out for up to an hour after being reheated. That's gross.

In your OP you said it was only 20 minutes later, not an hour.

But yeah, I'd have absolutely no problem eating food that had been sitting out for up to an hour after being reheated.

From the USDA:
Perishable food should not be left out more than 2 hours at room temperature (1 hour when the temperature is above 90 °F).

I'm pretty sure you don't keep your indoor temp above 90, so you're fine heating yours and letting theirs sit. You can even leave it in the microvave, pan, oven, or wherever you heat up. If it's covered, it will stay warm for a while.

Do you not own a microwave?