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Anonymous wrote:Even if you could get your debt discharged (which you probably cannot), how will you get by afterward when you have all of the same expenses and your husband is still unemployed but now you don’t have access to any credit lines to cover your shortfalls?

We would have at least $800 a month more if we didn’t have to pay minimums.

Sure, but something got you into the debt to begin with. It didn’t just happen to you.

About 90% of the debt was accrued before my husband lost his job. We thought we were on track to pay it off eventually. And then the rug got pulled out from under us.

How did you run up that much consumer debt while your DH was making $100k/year in a low COL area? Do you have anything you could sell to help pay off the debt?

They have been living off of the credit card for two years.

No we haven’t. Read, please.

You need to be more humble. You are asking for help after a period of living way beyond your means. You don’t like being told you will probably have to liquidate your assets or that your husband should think outside the box for work.

Bankruptcy is for people who have no other options. You have other options.

You don’t get to snap at people for telling you truths you don’t want to hear.

No, she doesn't need to be more humble. Posters need to be more helpful and responsive and less judgmental. She made very clear what she's asking. The "truths" she is being told here are not relevant or helpful. They're just other women getting off on feeling superior.

You are wrong. About so many things. She doesn’t get to come here with a chip on her shoulder and be rude to people who are giving her rude talk. You may sit the rest of this discussion out now.

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Anonymous wrote:Sorry I wasnt finished. As someone else mentioned, DCUM is not the place to come for legal advice. You should go to a lawyer and maybe a consumer debt counselor.

There are so many predatory companies out there. I’m scared. I’m scared of getting in an even worse situation.

NP and I wanted to respond to this concern. You should see an actual lawyer, not a consumer debt company. The lawyer will have a fiduciary duty to you so she won't be trying to scam you. They can also give you a no BS assessment about what your best options are and how the law will apply to your specific situation. I don't think you can really get meaningful advice from DCUM about something this specific.

This is DCUM at its best (see retired lawyer giving sound advice) and worst (see superior posters spewing judgment). Hugs OP to you and your family. I am sending you positive energy for a happy outcome. There but for the grace of God go any one of us.

You also won't be able to get a job with bankruptcy on your record

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Anonymous wrote:Even if you could get your debt discharged (which you probably cannot), how will you get by afterward when you have all of the same expenses and your husband is still unemployed but now you don’t have access to any credit lines to cover your shortfalls?

We would have at least $800 a month more if we didn’t have to pay minimums.

Sure, but something got you into the debt to begin with. It didn’t just happen to you.

About 90% of the debt was accrued before my husband lost his job. We thought we were on track to pay it off eventually. And then the rug got pulled out from under us.

How did you run up that much consumer debt while your DH was making $100k/year in a low COL area? Do you have anything you could sell to help pay off the debt?

They have been living off of the credit card for two years.

No we haven’t. Read, please.

You need to be more humble. You are asking for help after a period of living way beyond your means. You don’t like being told you will probably have to liquidate your assets or that your husband should think outside the box for work.

Bankruptcy is for people who have no other options. You have other options.

You don’t get to snap at people for telling you truths you don’t want to hear.

No, she doesn't need to be more humble. Posters need to be more helpful and responsive and less judgmental. She made very clear what she's asking. The "truths" she is being told here are not relevant or helpful. They're just other women getting off on feeling superior.

Hi, OP. I'm a retired lawyer. I didn't handle bankruptcies, though, so I don't know as much as I'd need to before feeling comfortable enough to advise you on specifics. I will say this, though: if you do decide to file for bankruptcy, whatever a lawyer charges you will be far, far less than what you're currently paying your credit card companies. You will be able to afford it. Yours sounds like a fairly simple consumer bankruptcy and shouldn't cost much.

The one piece of non-lawyer advice that I can give you is to call your credit card companies and see if you can negotiate a payment plan with them that you can manage without declaring bankruptcy. Most companies will do that -- it's not in their interest to have you declare bankruptcy, as they'd rather get something than nothing. Just be sure to tell them that you are overwhelmed and bankruptcy is your only option unless they will work with you.

Good luck.

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Anonymous wrote:Have you answered which state you’re in? Because each of the D, M, and V have different homestead rules.

I looked it up. Looks like we have more equity than our state allows for the homestead exemption.

Do you meet the income guidelines? This leaves you with some very difficult decisions. Is using equity from your home through a home refinance an option? It still won’t solve your underlying problem of spending more than you earn, which is something you will have to tackle. But if refinancing is an option you might get the stress reprieve you need.

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Anonymous wrote:Even if you could get your debt discharged (which you probably cannot), how will you get by afterward when you have all of the same expenses and your husband is still unemployed but now you don’t have access to any credit lines to cover your shortfalls?

We would have at least $800 a month more if we didn’t have to pay minimums.

Sure, but something got you into the debt to begin with. It didn’t just happen to you.

About 90% of the debt was accrued before my husband lost his job. We thought we were on track to pay it off eventually. And then the rug got pulled out from under us.

How did you run up that much consumer debt while your DH was making $100k/year in a low COL area? Do you have anything you could sell to help pay off the debt?

They have been living off of the credit card for two years.

No we haven’t. Read, please.

You need to be more humble. You are asking for help after a period of living way beyond your means. You don’t like being told you will probably have to liquidate your assets or that your husband should think outside the box for work.

Bankruptcy is for people who have no other options. You have other options.

You don’t get to snap at people for telling you truths you don’t want to hear.

Like I said on page 1: refinance the credit card debt into a fixed rate loan with a credit union. You will then have a manageable monthly payment that pays down interest and principle. Good for you, great for the credit union.

You’re getting killed by the high interest rates on the credit cards.

This is a decent primer: https://www.forbes.com/advisor/debt-relief/types-of-bankruptcies/

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Anonymous wrote:No. The court will likely force you to sell the home, unless you live in Florida. I’d recommend working with a credit union to refinance all your credit card debt into a fixed rate loan and pay it off over 5 years.

This. Also, bankruptcy can be problematic for some careers so depending on your job or your husband’s profession, you might need to avoid declaring. As everyone has said, see an attorney. Sounds like your mortgage is reasonable, so protecting your home is paramount. Does your career allow you to work from home? If so you should seriously consider moving to a LCOL area. Maybe even to somewhere that you could drive to work from once a week (like parts of WV, PA or the eastern shore).

Yup lowering COL given that you and your DH both accept you need a SAHP is paramount. And as long as I was moving I’d be looking at states with better homestead exemptions…

Anonymous wrote:No. The court will likely force you to sell the home, unless you live in Florida. I’d recommend working with a credit union to refinance all your credit card debt into a fixed rate loan and pay it off over 5 years.

This. Also, bankruptcy can be problematic for some careers so depending on your job or your husband’s profession, you might need to avoid declaring. As everyone has said, see an attorney. Sounds like your mortgage is reasonable, so protecting your home is paramount. Does your career allow you to work from home? If so you should seriously consider moving to a LCOL area. Maybe even to somewhere that you could drive to work from once a week (like parts of WV, PA or the eastern shore).

Anonymous wrote:Have you answered which state you’re in? Because each of the D, M, and V have different homestead rules.

I looked it up. Looks like we have more equity than our state allows for the homestead exemption.

Have you answered which state you’re in? Because each of the D, M, and V have different homestead rules.

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Anonymous wrote:OP, just ignore all the advice unrelated to your question and make an appointment to see a bankruptcy lawyer. It's nothing to be afraid of. Not a company, an actual lawyer with a track record. They will explain the whole thing to you and then you and your husband decide what to do.

We can’t afford a lawyer. How do bankruptcy lawyers even make money? All their clients are broke.

It's been a few years ago for me but my lawyer explained to me at the initial consultation how it would work. He charged $1600 and that had to be paid before he would file. He told me to stop paying credit cards immediately and start paying him instead. It would take about three months for me to pay him and then he would file. When the CC companies called I was to refer them to him and tell them to stop calling me which they were required by law to abide by. Once I had him paid he filed and within a few months we went to court. I know another person who filed last year and their lawyer allowed them to make payments on his fee and he went ahead and filed before getting his full fee, but his advice re the CCs was the same, stop paying them and tell them to call him.

Because I stopped paying all credit accounts the companies started adding penalties and interest and by the time we went to court I owed about double what I initially owed thanks to that. It didn't matter though because it was all discharged in the bankruptcy.