Anonymous
07/25/2022 22:53
Subject: How to make traveling without DH fun
You have decided to be miserable and in turn you are making your kids miserable. You have been there THREE years and haven’t met a single person?! Do your kids not play with other kids at recess? Ask them to get numbers for those kids parents and invite their families over for a bbq. I have no interest in ever fishing or 4 wheeling, but if that is what all the kids do on weekends, get your kids involved in that kind of stuff. It’s pretty awful that you turn your nose up at the way of life of a huge part of the country. Some of the people wherever you live are surely worth getting to know! Have you ever heard the phrase ‘bloom where you’re planted?’ Make the best of where you are! Start grocery shopping in person! Say hello to people! And I call BS on there being NO kids activities. I have relatives in very rural Oklahoma. There’s a dance team and 4H and high school football! Go to the games! And a couple restaurants, take your kids there and maybe you’ll run into classmates.
As for traveling, go less often. Tell the kids it’s not optional, but instead of every month, you’ll go away for the weekend every other month. They can pick some places they want to see. I love to travel but we don’t have the budget or time to do it as much as I’d like.
As for traveling, go less often. Tell the kids it’s not optional, but instead of every month, you’ll go away for the weekend every other month. They can pick some places they want to see. I love to travel but we don’t have the budget or time to do it as much as I’d like.
Anonymous
07/25/2022 22:28
Subject: Re:How to make traveling without DH fun
Could you at least tell us what state?
I moved around a lot when I was a kid and lived in both urban and a rural area. Even in the rural area, sports were huge. My boss grew up fishing and hunting. I had a college friend who grew up on a farm and she had tons of interesting hobbies like art.
I do understand lack of friends if you moved there 3 years ago. I moved within the DC area 3 years ago. I recently went to a school orientation and said to other parents that I still feel new since we had just moved here and then Covid happened.
I would look for activities near the closest larger town or city even if it is a drive.
You also haven’t shared where you want to travel to. I would focus on making some local friends.
I moved around a lot when I was a kid and lived in both urban and a rural area. Even in the rural area, sports were huge. My boss grew up fishing and hunting. I had a college friend who grew up on a farm and she had tons of interesting hobbies like art.
I do understand lack of friends if you moved there 3 years ago. I moved within the DC area 3 years ago. I recently went to a school orientation and said to other parents that I still feel new since we had just moved here and then Covid happened.
I would look for activities near the closest larger town or city even if it is a drive.
You also haven’t shared where you want to travel to. I would focus on making some local friends.
Anonymous
07/25/2022 22:17
Subject: How to make traveling without DH fun
Anonymous wrote:OP here. We no longer live in DC, and opportunities for children are limited where we are. I don't want them thinking this kind of life is normal, hence the short weekend trips to expose them to other things.
Also, DH will be working weekends, so staying home isn't an option for them.
But it is their normal life right now and honestly you sound like you work really hard to make it weird. Tell them to invite a kid over to play. Do you really think no kids ever get together to play?
People must go somewhere in town or the next town or the next largest town. Find out where that is and start going on the weekends. That is normal. My sister lived in a small town. It's cliche but people went to Walmart and a little strip mall with a couple stores and places to eat and usually we would run into someone she knew. It was about a 45 minute drive from their actual town.
Anonymous
07/25/2022 22:09
Subject: How to make traveling without DH fun
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Maybe the people where you live have figured out you think their way of life isn’t “normal” and took offense.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think you need to work on the friend thing. My kids (11 and 13) would greatly prefer to hang with a friend than me dragging to a destination where its the same faces they see everyday- is there anyway to meet local people? Kids are old enough to know what they want.
Have been working on it for 15 years. Hasn't happened.
That would be pretty impressive, seeing as I work 60 hours a week from my house and literally never interact with them.
Please, we figured out your snobbery in one line over the internet. They know.
I. Have. Never. Met. A. Single. Person. Here.
Get over yourself.
You don’t talk to neighbors? What about other parents at school? Check out person at the grocery store? Doctor? How can you not interact with anyone?
Neighbors, no. Other parents, I never see. Groceries, I have delivered. This place sucked before, and covid restrictions made it worse. I've hidden myself, because I'm so lonely that whenever I DO see a stranger, I embarrass myself by talking too much.
Hey OP. You sound like you might be depressed. Have you considered that? No one in a small town is going to think you talk too much. They’ll just think you’re friendly. I think you need to focus on how to make your current life better before you worry about traveling. There truly is almost no place in the country devoid of interesting people for any person of any inclination to talk to.
Anonymous
07/25/2022 22:04
Subject: How to make traveling without DH fun
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Maybe the people where you live have figured out you think their way of life isn’t “normal” and took offense.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think you need to work on the friend thing. My kids (11 and 13) would greatly prefer to hang with a friend than me dragging to a destination where its the same faces they see everyday- is there anyway to meet local people? Kids are old enough to know what they want.
Have been working on it for 15 years. Hasn't happened.
That would be pretty impressive, seeing as I work 60 hours a week from my house and literally never interact with them.
Please, we figured out your snobbery in one line over the internet. They know.
I. Have. Never. Met. A. Single. Person. Here.
Get over yourself.
Hey OP. You sound like you might be depressed. Have you considered that? No one in a small town is going to think you talk too much. They’ll just think you’re friendly. I think you need to focus on how to make your current life better before you worry about traveling. There truly is almost no place in the country devoid of interesting people for any person of any inclination to talk to.
You don’t talk to neighbors? What about other parents at school? Check out person at the grocery store? Doctor? How can you not interact with anyone?
Neighbors, no. Other parents, I never see. Groceries, I have delivered. This place sucked before, and covid restrictions made it worse. I've hidden myself, because I'm so lonely that whenever I DO see a stranger, I embarrass myself by talking too much.
Anonymous
07/25/2022 21:57
Subject: How to make traveling without DH fun
^ I read one of your other replies and see there are no sports and no scouts. Where is this place with nothing and covid restrictions. I’m thinking an isolated part of California. If there is really nothing around and people are living like it’s 2020 I see why you leave.
Anonymous
07/25/2022 21:52
Subject: How to make traveling without DH fun
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Maybe the people where you live have figured out you think their way of life isn’t “normal” and took offense.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think you need to work on the friend thing. My kids (11 and 13) would greatly prefer to hang with a friend than me dragging to a destination where its the same faces they see everyday- is there anyway to meet local people? Kids are old enough to know what they want.
Have been working on it for 15 years. Hasn't happened.
That would be pretty impressive, seeing as I work 60 hours a week from my house and literally never interact with them.
Tell us your secret, how do you work 60 hours weeks and have the energy to go away for one weekend per month? I don’t have the energy to travel that much and I love travel. You have not mentioned any trips yet. We can’t help you get them on board.
Also, they aren’t involved in anything? No weekend games of any sorts? Art classes? Scouts? Swimming? Youth group? It’s pretty typical for kids to have at least one weekend activity by those ages with kids their age. Mine wouldn’t want to travel that much and miss out.
Anonymous
07/25/2022 18:23
Subject: How to make traveling without DH fun
Nothing about your life as you describe it would work for me. Unless you were kidnapped, I’m not sure why you agreed to go, or why your DH would ask this massive sacrifice of you or your children.
Anonymous
07/25/2022 18:02
Subject: How to make traveling without DH fun
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Are your kids not involved in sports or other activities? How do you manage weekend trips every month??
Between our 2 oldest kids , our weekends are jammed with birthday parties, soccer game(s), usually a Scout activity, friends hanging out, and the like.
How absent is your dh going to be?
They don't have anything like that here. School is a small private one, so maaaaybe 4 parties a year. No organized sports or Scouts. It's that bad.
DH will very absent working.
There is no public library? No rotary type club? What do the families of the kids at the 4 parties/year do for fun?
Ride four wheelers and hunt and fish and stuff like that. I want more for my kids.
Anonymous
07/25/2022 18:01
Subject: How to make traveling without DH fun
Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, I know everyone us giving you a hard time. But does your dh have anxiety? Mine does and your description of “in and out” in public places reminds me of him. If it were up to him he would never leave the house. Which really, really brings us down as a family and I have to greatly overcompensate for his shortcomings socially or else Id end up miserable and alone. I also schedule a lot of short weekend trips for us bc it forces him to leave the house and do things with us out in the world. I apologize if Im projecting. But if thats the case, and youre dealing w that alone in the middle of nowhere, Im sorry.
He says he's just a severe introvert, but yes, I think he has social anxiety. He's ok at work but hate socializing.
Anonymous
07/25/2022 18:00
Subject: How to make traveling without DH fun
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Maybe the people where you live have figured out you think their way of life isn’t “normal” and took offense.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think you need to work on the friend thing. My kids (11 and 13) would greatly prefer to hang with a friend than me dragging to a destination where its the same faces they see everyday- is there anyway to meet local people? Kids are old enough to know what they want.
Have been working on it for 15 years. Hasn't happened.
That would be pretty impressive, seeing as I work 60 hours a week from my house and literally never interact with them.
Please, we figured out your snobbery in one line over the internet. They know.
I. Have. Never. Met. A. Single. Person. Here.
Get over yourself.
You don’t talk to neighbors? What about other parents at school? Check out person at the grocery store? Doctor? How can you not interact with anyone?
Neighbors, no. Other parents, I never see. Groceries, I have delivered. This place sucked before, and covid restrictions made it worse. I've hidden myself, because I'm so lonely that whenever I DO see a stranger, I embarrass myself by talking too much.
Anonymous
07/25/2022 17:52
Subject: How to make traveling without DH fun
Where is this place you live OP?
Anonymous
07/25/2022 17:40
Subject: How to make traveling without DH fun
Hey OP, I know everyone us giving you a hard time. But does your dh have anxiety? Mine does and your description of “in and out” in public places reminds me of him. If it were up to him he would never leave the house. Which really, really brings us down as a family and I have to greatly overcompensate for his shortcomings socially or else Id end up miserable and alone. I also schedule a lot of short weekend trips for us bc it forces him to leave the house and do things with us out in the world. I apologize if Im projecting. But if thats the case, and youre dealing w that alone in the middle of nowhere, Im sorry.
Anonymous
07/25/2022 17:30
Subject: How to make traveling without DH fun
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Are your kids not involved in sports or other activities? How do you manage weekend trips every month??
Between our 2 oldest kids , our weekends are jammed with birthday parties, soccer game(s), usually a Scout activity, friends hanging out, and the like.
How absent is your dh going to be?
They don't have anything like that here. School is a small private one, so maaaaybe 4 parties a year. No organized sports or Scouts. It's that bad.
DH will very absent working.
There is no public library? No rotary type club? What do the families of the kids at the 4 parties/year do for fun?
Anonymous
07/25/2022 17:27
Subject: How to make traveling without DH fun
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Maybe the people where you live have figured out you think their way of life isn’t “normal” and took offense.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think you need to work on the friend thing. My kids (11 and 13) would greatly prefer to hang with a friend than me dragging to a destination where its the same faces they see everyday- is there anyway to meet local people? Kids are old enough to know what they want.
Have been working on it for 15 years. Hasn't happened.
That would be pretty impressive, seeing as I work 60 hours a week from my house and literally never interact with them.
Please, we figured out your snobbery in one line over the internet. They know.
I. Have. Never. Met. A. Single. Person. Here.
Get over yourself.
You don’t talk to neighbors? What about other parents at school? Check out person at the grocery store? Doctor? How can you not interact with anyone?