Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am assuming nanny care plus a back up is our best bet, correct? My schedule is usually 8 to 3 while DH is working out of town 28 weeks a year (home every weekend). My MIL is also retired and lives a few streets away and it excited to care for the baby.

Who was your backup if nanny got sick? I don’t want to make my MIL our back up if she has plans.

Your MIL is the best backup plan there is, assuming you trust her. My MIL does this stuff all the time for my sister in law. I guess it depends on your relationship though. If she has immovable plans, you could try bright horizons backup care. Lots of employers offer this, so I’d check your benefits.

I totally trust my MIL. I think together with the Bright Horizons care, it could work.

Thank you, all!

+1 Of course the MIL. You wouldn't want to put a baby in a random Bright Horizons where they're unfamiliar for a random day here or there. That's not fun for the kid, especially if they have a loving relative a few streets away. Plus Bright Horizons isn't good for last minute childcare needs, they usually need 2 days advance notice.

Bright Horizons has a service where they send a nanny to your home. It’s all night before and last minute. It’s not the daycare part.

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else dying to know what sort of industry OP works in where she can't miss a day of work but is out of the house for 7 hours total each day including commute?

I’m guessing a surgeon. Something like breast cancer surgery or knee replacement - those are the surgeries that are scheduled in the morning. Like out patient surgery.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am assuming nanny care plus a back up is our best bet, correct? My schedule is usually 8 to 3 while DH is working out of town 28 weeks a year (home every weekend). My MIL is also retired and lives a few streets away and it excited to care for the baby.

Who was your backup if nanny got sick? I don’t want to make my MIL our back up if she has plans.

Your MIL is the best backup plan there is, assuming you trust her. My MIL does this stuff all the time for my sister in law. I guess it depends on your relationship though. If she has immovable plans, you could try bright horizons backup care. Lots of employers offer this, so I’d check your benefits.

I totally trust my MIL. I think together with the Bright Horizons care, it could work.

Thank you, all!

+1 Of course the MIL. You wouldn't want to put a baby in a random Bright Horizons where they're unfamiliar for a random day here or there. That's not fun for the kid, especially if they have a loving relative a few streets away. Plus Bright Horizons isn't good for last minute childcare needs, they usually need 2 days advance notice.

Anonymous wrote:I haven't used Bright Horizons since before the pandemic, but I did not find them to be very reliable for day-of issues. Often if something came up in the morning (sick nanny, preschool closure), I couldn't get someone there until 10am or so. They were okay for days where I could plan ahead (nanny vacation or something like that).

+1 My employer has Bright Horizons back-up care, but when I looked at it, you had to give at least 24-48 hours notice and that was before COVID. So it's good for when you can plan ahead for a long nanny illness or something...but not when your kid wakes up vomiting and you have no backup option other than elementary school.

Anyone else dying to know what sort of industry OP works in where she can't miss a day of work but is out of the house for 7 hours total each day including commute?

OP is smart to be thinking this through now rather than the evening before nanny calls in sick and OP can’t miss work.

Since OP is basically a single parent during the week for half the year and can afford a nanny and a twice-weekly housekeeper, she can figure out how to throw money at the problem. Keep MIL/Grandma in her back pocket for true emergencies.

Given all that, OP should expect there will be instances where all plans fail and she has to call in. She is the ultimate contingency plan.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you do if you got sick? My kids wanted their mom around when they were sick. Trying not to judge, but hopefully your employer can be understanding. Instead of coming up with backup childcare plans, figure out back up work plans.

My kids are very comfortable with their loving nanny. Plus colds don’t require mom.

Right, but not all illnesses are colds. So what would OP do when his/her child is sick?

Severely ill, I would stay home and miss work, obviously.

-OP here. The point is I cannot miss work for the common cold or nanny being out.

You should have thought about that before having kids.

I agree this is part of parenting suck it up. You can’t outsource your duties as a parent because you don’t want to miss work. You seem like you’d rather work than be bothered with your kid anyway

Let’s go over OP’s situation again: she works only seven hours a day including commute; she has a grandmother available and willing to help; she can afford a full time nanny and two day housekeeper; and she has backup care at her work. If it’s an emergency she will call in sick.

What kid would be upset or feel less important if a nanny and grandma cared for them if they had a cold or fever? I can easily miss work and I still let my kids stay home with nanny if they have a cold and I’m gone 9 hours. They’re happy and fine!

You people are nuts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you do if you got sick? My kids wanted their mom around when they were sick. Trying not to judge, but hopefully your employer can be understanding. Instead of coming up with backup childcare plans, figure out back up work plans.

My kids are very comfortable with their loving nanny. Plus colds don’t require mom.

Right, but not all illnesses are colds. So what would OP do when his/her child is sick?

Severely ill, I would stay home and miss work, obviously.

-OP here. The point is I cannot miss work for the common cold or nanny being out.

You should have thought about that before having kids.

I agree this is part of parenting suck it up. You can’t outsource your duties as a parent because you don’t want to miss work. You seem like you’d rather work than be bothered with your kid anyway

Something tells me your attitude wouldn't be the same if your surgeon cancelled because their kid was sick. Good grief.

For most people, missing work is NBD. I'm a lawyer, and for me it certainly isn't absent some uncommon circumstances, such as a trial or significant court appearance. But some jobs, when missed, have significant impacts on other people. It's astonishing that you people don't get this. Is it really that difficult to understand?

Again if your career is more important perhaps OP shouldn’t have had children. A surgeon can PAY HANDSOMELY so he doesn’t miss work OP can’t afford such a nanny. If I’m making 25$ an hour sure I’m taking off time and calling in sick. If your paying me 45$ I probably won’t call out

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you do if you got sick? My kids wanted their mom around when they were sick. Trying not to judge, but hopefully your employer can be understanding. Instead of coming up with backup childcare plans, figure out back up work plans.

Again, it’s not the flexible employer in jobs like these. It’s thinks like postponing your knee replacement because your surgeon’s kid had a cold and his nanny was sick or cancelling your flight because the pilot’s nanny had the flu.

I am all for OP finding whatever back up care she needs, but these examples happen all the time.

OP in your case I think it would make sense to use a nanny agency that includes emergency backup care. I think White House Nannies has that. I assume it’s more expensive, but that’s the price of your jobs.

Your other option would be to have two nannies, or a nanny and a house manager who could pinch hit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you do if you got sick? My kids wanted their mom around when they were sick. Trying not to judge, but hopefully your employer can be understanding. Instead of coming up with backup childcare plans, figure out back up work plans.

My kids are very comfortable with their loving nanny. Plus colds don’t require mom.

Right, but not all illnesses are colds. So what would OP do when his/her child is sick?

Severely ill, I would stay home and miss work, obviously.

-OP here. The point is I cannot miss work for the common cold or nanny being out.

You should have thought about that before having kids.

I agree this is part of parenting suck it up. You can’t outsource your duties as a parent because you don’t want to miss work. You seem like you’d rather work than be bothered with your kid anyway

Something tells me your attitude wouldn't be the same if your surgeon cancelled because their kid was sick. Good grief.

For most people, missing work is NBD. I'm a lawyer, and for me it certainly isn't absent some uncommon circumstances, such as a trial or significant court appearance. But some jobs, when missed, have significant impacts on other people. It's astonishing that you people don't get this. Is it really that difficult to understand?

Make sure your nanny is extremely reliable by checking references.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you do if you got sick? My kids wanted their mom around when they were sick. Trying not to judge, but hopefully your employer can be understanding. Instead of coming up with backup childcare plans, figure out back up work plans.

My kids are very comfortable with their loving nanny. Plus colds don’t require mom.

Right, but not all illnesses are colds. So what would OP do when his/her child is sick?

Severely ill, I would stay home and miss work, obviously.

-OP here. The point is I cannot miss work for the common cold or nanny being out.

You should have thought about that before having kids.

I agree this is part of parenting suck it up. You can’t outsource your duties as a parent because you don’t want to miss work. You seem like you’d rather work than be bothered with your kid anyway

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you do if you got sick? My kids wanted their mom around when they were sick. Trying not to judge, but hopefully your employer can be understanding. Instead of coming up with backup childcare plans, figure out back up work plans.

My kids are very comfortable with their loving nanny. Plus colds don’t require mom.

Right, but not all illnesses are colds. So what would OP do when his/her child is sick?

Severely ill, I would stay home and miss work, obviously.

-OP here. The point is I cannot miss work for the common cold or nanny being out.

What can you miss work for? Your job is more important than your child(ren). This is sad for your children. Cold might be pneumonia, can you miss work for this? Can you miss work for appendicitis? Cancer? Covid? Broken bones? Broken heart?

Calm down, Drama Deb! She already answered that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you do if you got sick? My kids wanted their mom around when they were sick. Trying not to judge, but hopefully your employer can be understanding. Instead of coming up with backup childcare plans, figure out back up work plans.

My kids are very comfortable with their loving nanny. Plus colds don’t require mom.

Right, but not all illnesses are colds. So what would OP do when his/her child is sick?

Severely ill, I would stay home and miss work, obviously.

-OP here. The point is I cannot miss work for the common cold or nanny being out.

What can you miss work for? Your job is more important than your child(ren). This is sad for your children. Cold might be pneumonia, can you miss work for this? Can you miss work for appendicitis? Cancer? Covid? Broken bones? Broken heart?