Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there something wrong with middle brother? How was he so easily taken advantage of?

He just isn’t sophisticated. He trusts easily. He spent time with and cared for my mom, which was always his strongest talent. My oldest brother made up some story about how it would be a loan etc. It’s not a loan. He spent all of it and had no plans to pay him back.

HUH?
What do you mean he made up a story about it being a loan? If he said loan then it’s a loan, one he refuses to repay.
Sue him.
Are you a troll?

No, I’m not a troll. This is very much real life. Sadly. Yes, the oldest brother (let’s call him
Mike) told the younger brother (let’s call him John) that he needed the money, that the money was never John’s to begin with, and that it would be like a loan where he would pay John back. The problem is that Mike spent the money and has told me after I confronted him about all of this that he doesn’t owe John anything and won’t be giving back any of the money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there something wrong with middle brother? How was he so easily taken advantage of?

He just isn’t sophisticated. He trusts easily. He spent time with and cared for my mom, which was always his strongest talent. My oldest brother made up some story about how it would be a loan etc. It’s not a loan. He spent all of it and had no plans to pay him back.

Come on, most people are so easily duped. Something else is going on with your brother.

He has barely a high school education if that’s what you’re getting at. We were raised dirt poor. Not DCUM poor. Like food stamps and housing projects poor. I made it “out” because I always excelled academically and was super focused and didn’t want to live in the hood the rest of my life. My brother didn’t have the same drive, so he got stuck. As a result, he’s spent most of his life around people who DCUM people try very hard to avoid.

I think the best thing you can do, if possible, is take your middle brother in. Let him live with you for a set amount of time and help him find a decent job. It also sounds like you need to help him learn some life lessons.

Yes, I can do this and it’s what I’m planning to do. I flew him here to visit w/me and my kids. While he’s here we are going to work on his resume and look at some possible jobs together and I’ll help him apply and prep him for some interviews should he get any. I’ve talked to him about the importance of sticking up for himself and telling people no — even with his own brother. I’ll keep talking to him. It’s weird because I’m the youngest, but it’s always felt like I’m so much older than him. He was crying because he said he messed up and shouldn’t have given the money away, but didn’t know what to do/how to say no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. I appreciate the kind comments. To the posters who think I’m a troll, well, I don’t know what to say — do people really create fake posts about their mother’s death? I certainly would not. I am a lawyer. Have been for 17 years. I don’t think a lawsuit would likely prevail as I’ve said before b/c there was no formal agreement, but, stranger things have happened in Texas, so it’s not off the table. Mostly, it could be enough to scare Brother 1 into a payment plan at minimum. He is absolutely the kind of person who cares about his reputation and public persona. I haven’t been close to him in years and all the more reason to keep my distance now. I’m helping Brother 2 and we’ll figure it out. My Brother 2 sacrificed a lot for my mom and he deserved every dime of that money. I always helped her financially, but his other support for her was unmatched.

Did you skip Rule 11 in law school? This comes dangerously close to sanctionable conduct.

NP and probably not sanctionable as OP is going to argue there was an oral agreement to pay the money back. They will probably lose but probably won't be sanctioned for it esp. since they will be in state court where your case has to be really frivolous for someone to be sanctioned.

Anonymous wrote:
OP, I just want to say to YOU, you're a loving and perceptive sister and what you're doing to help your brother is kind and honorable. And you are surely doing all this while mourning your mother at the same time. It sounds as if legally there may be no way to recover any money from your astonishingly selfish oldest brother, and if not, I would give him one final come-to-Jesus talk, blasting him for taking advantage of a person he knows is vulnerable and naive, and then I would cut older brother out of both your lives permanently. I never, never advocate "cutting out" in posts here but in this case, your older brother seems to be someone who would only take advantage of your other brother, and possibly you if he could, in the future too.

Your mother surely would be proud of how you are caring for and defending her son who was her friend and caregiver.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would intervene. I don't give a F if people say MYOB. I would defend my younger brother to an a** of a brother.

Take older brother to task.

Or to court.

With no written agreement between the brothers about any "loan" and the fact the younger brother gave the money willingly to the older one, there may not be any legal leg to stand on for a lawsuit. I also think maybe the older brother doesn't have the money to repay. What are the odds he owed money somewhere himself and that's why he was going after the brother's inheritance?

But the threat of a lawsuit might be enough to scare him into coughing up something if he's afraid of word getting out. If he's into appearances and playing the noble veteran etc., he might balk at being sued. Not a good look. Lawsuits are mostly public documents, right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. I appreciate the kind comments. To the posters who think I’m a troll, well, I don’t know what to say — do people really create fake posts about their mother’s death? I certainly would not. I am a lawyer. Have been for 17 years. I don’t think a lawsuit would likely prevail as I’ve said before b/c there was no formal agreement, but, stranger things have happened in Texas, so it’s not off the table. Mostly, it could be enough to scare Brother 1 into a payment plan at minimum. He is absolutely the kind of person who cares about his reputation and public persona. I haven’t been close to him in years and all the more reason to keep my distance now. I’m helping Brother 2 and we’ll figure it out. My Brother 2 sacrificed a lot for my mom and he deserved every dime of that money. I always helped her financially, but his other support for her was unmatched.

Did you skip Rule 11 in law school? This comes dangerously close to sanctionable conduct.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all. I appreciate the kind comments. To the posters who think I’m a troll, well, I don’t know what to say — do people really create fake posts about their mother’s death? I certainly would not. I am a lawyer. Have been for 17 years. I don’t think a lawsuit would likely prevail as I’ve said before b/c there was no formal agreement, but, stranger things have happened in Texas, so it’s not off the table. Mostly, it could be enough to scare Brother 1 into a payment plan at minimum. He is absolutely the kind of person who cares about his reputation and public persona. I haven’t been close to him in years and all the more reason to keep my distance now. I’m helping Brother 2 and we’ll figure it out. My Brother 2 sacrificed a lot for my mom and he deserved every dime of that money. I always helped her financially, but his other support for her was unmatched.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe older brother thought it was unfair unequal treatment that middle brother was the sole beneficiary. Isn't that what many are saying in the other inheritance thread? It doesn't bode well for sibling relationships that things be split so unequally. So maybe he did feel entitled to some of the money. Did he ever agree with how things were split?

There was agreement because Brother 2 spent so many years acting as our mom’s primary caregiver. And at the end of the day, $50K just wasn’t a lot of money. But it would have helped Brother 2 get on his feet. Brother 1 was the one who got upset when I tried to control the funds, which, in hindsight makes so much sense. Brother 1 was adamant about it being Brother 2’s money and that I shouldn’t play any part in managing it. Of course he had his own plan to take the money, which is why he didn’t need his pesky sister in the way.

This is why parents shouldn't treat siblings so unequally.

So there is fair, and there is equal. It’s fair to give child who spend a decade caring for you $50k.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe older brother thought it was unfair unequal treatment that middle brother was the sole beneficiary. Isn't that what many are saying in the other inheritance thread? It doesn't bode well for sibling relationships that things be split so unequally. So maybe he did feel entitled to some of the money. Did he ever agree with how things were split?

There was agreement because Brother 2 spent so many years acting as our mom’s primary caregiver. And at the end of the day, $50K just wasn’t a lot of money. But it would have helped Brother 2 get on his feet. Brother 1 was the one who got upset when I tried to control the funds, which, in hindsight makes so much sense. Brother 1 was adamant about it being Brother 2’s money and that I shouldn’t play any part in managing it. Of course he had his own plan to take the money, which is why he didn’t need his pesky sister in the way.

This is why parents shouldn't treat siblings so unequally.

So there is fair, and there is equal. It’s fair to give child who spend a decade caring for you $50k.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would intervene. I don't give a F if people say MYOB. I would defend my younger brother to an a** of a brother.

Take older brother to task.

Or to court.

Anonymous wrote:What a sad story, what a betrayal, and what a good sister you are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe older brother thought it was unfair unequal treatment that middle brother was the sole beneficiary. Isn't that what many are saying in the other inheritance thread? It doesn't bode well for sibling relationships that things be split so unequally. So maybe he did feel entitled to some of the money. Did he ever agree with how things were split?

There was agreement because Brother 2 spent so many years acting as our mom’s primary caregiver. And at the end of the day, $50K just wasn’t a lot of money. But it would have helped Brother 2 get on his feet. Brother 1 was the one who got upset when I tried to control the funds, which, in hindsight makes so much sense. Brother 1 was adamant about it being Brother 2’s money and that I shouldn’t play any part in managing it. Of course he had his own plan to take the money, which is why he didn’t need his pesky sister in the way.

This is why parents shouldn't treat siblings so unequally.

Anonymous wrote:I would intervene. I don't give a F if people say MYOB. I would defend my younger brother to an a** of a brother.

Take older brother to task.