Anonymous wrote:I can tell the difference between a private school kid and a public school kid, regardless of HHI, in less than 10 minutes, probably less than 5. There is always a tell and it has to do with manners, confidence, speech, dress and behavior. Anyone who has spent enough time on top tier privates can do the same. It’s just something private school kids have that public school kids don’t.

My kids are quiet and not gabbing with adults like they are mini adults. So maybe you couldn't tell in less than 10 mins.

I can tell the difference between a private school kid and a public school kid, regardless of HHI, in less than 10 minutes, probably less than 5. There is always a tell and it has to do with manners, confidence, speech, dress and behavior. Anyone who has spent enough time on top tier privates can do the same. It’s just something private school kids have that public school kids don’t.

Schools don't make the difference, parents make the difference.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had kids in both and noticed a significant difference. Private school parents were VERY invested in seeing their kids advance in social mobility. They talked openly about Ivy League schools when they only had elementary students. They name dropped. Boasted about various vacation plans, cotillion, Europe, college admissions and so forth. They put concerted effort into making sure their kids were around like-minded people.

I have found public schools parents to be more varied…some salt of earth, some athletic and cliquey, some nerdy scientists, some absentee parents and either ignorant or disinterested in above topics.

Maybe I'm doing my kids a disservice, but I find this really creepy. So fake.

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids are have good social skills because we raised them properly. They both did cotillion (Mrs Simpsons). And of course have travelled extensively and visited museums and done cultural activities. One went to private and one to public school, so school had nothing to do with it.

Two of my kids have awful social skills and one excellent skills. They went to the same schools and were raised in the same family, so neither the family nor the schools had anything to do with it. (I'm about 95 percent serious.)

Anonymous wrote:Curious if private school kids tend to be more polished and hold a certain decorum. Another thread on this site indicated that private school kids are better behaved.

Refined? Like little Prince George refined?

If you mean better behaved, no, not really. It varies by the school and by the class.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I notice is that in general, kids from private schools are more comfortable talking to adults they don't know. I see this in my daughter and her friends.

I attended a party recently that had a mixture of families and included MS and HS aged kids from both public and private (Catholic) schools. I found the kids from public school to be acting entitled and not interested in engaging in any conversation with adults. The private school kids were much more polite and were able to converse in a mature fashion.

?? What do you even think that word means?

Also, how do you know where the kids went if they wouldn't talk to you?

Yes, the kids attended Churchill High School. They were rude and not at all engaged in the conversation...staring at each other's phones and stuff like that.

The private school kids were the only ones who were polite and actually contributed to the conversation and expanded on answers when asked by adults. I was very impressed with their family as well.

What the word "entitled" means to me in this situation is, "I don't need to speak to you...I have better and more important things to do." These kids came from very wealthy families.

My kids went to private and public schools. The kids from the private school did a lot more drugs and slept with classmates they'd met when they were three.

I will say that I notice a confidence level in private school kids that I think is different than those of public school kids. It could be attributed to what they’re being taught at home (you’re the greatest, the world is your oyster, etc) or what the school is telling them (you are the future, our students are the best, etc).

This is like asking if ivy league kids are more refined than state school kids. If you've ever been to a top private school you know that if anything they are more rude and depraved. I was walking home one day at Princeton and four tipsy girls started chatting me up. We walked a few blocks and one girl was talking my ear off and suddenly looks back and goes "Oh! Sorry, we're peeing!" and runs back to her friends who all now have their shorts down or skirts up peeing into a residential neighborhood front yard at 2pm in the afternoon

Anonymous wrote:My rising 9th grader has played on two travel lacrosse teams. One with all private school kids from high-end neighborhoods, the other where there are only 3 of them from private schools and the rest from primarily one middle-class/UMC public school. Even my unobservant DH commented that you could tell a difference between the kids and parents on the two teams. The public school families are perfectly nice but they weren’t as sophisticated and didn’t have the same experiences.

This really doesn’t tell us anything as it doesn’t clarify what is meant by sophistication or same experiences. What experiences do you consider ‘refined’?

My rising 9th grader has played on two travel lacrosse teams. One with all private school kids from high-end neighborhoods, the other where there are only 3 of them from private schools and the rest from primarily one middle-class/UMC public school. Even my unobservant DH commented that you could tell a difference between the kids and parents on the two teams. The public school families are perfectly nice but they weren’t as sophisticated and didn’t have the same experiences.

Anonymous wrote:I just broke up an interaction involving one of my big 3 teens farting on the other. So no, they are not refined. At all.

Best response to dumbest question.

Most private school kids I knew growing up ere refined in front of adults and really, really bad when not. A lot of that behavior at the high school level really turned me off to private school. They were almost too sheltered and trained.

I just broke up an interaction involving one of my big 3 teens farting on the other. So no, they are not refined. At all.